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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thelostyears Offline
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Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 27th 2010, 01:16 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

First post.

I'm Paige.

I'm 14. Bipolar and ADD.

My meds are going wacko.

I literally go from overly stressed, to manic, to suicidal depressed in the course of a day.

I'm so sick of it, and so are my parents (they already have to deal with my autistic brother).

They're saying they might put me in the behavioural hospital (the one my brother went to).

I've resorted to picking at my lips and fingers.

Meanwhile, I can't talk to any of my friends about this, and my parents don't understand.

They don't get why I can't concentrate, why I freak out over everything, why I pick at myself until my thumb gets infected. Why I limp for no reason, why I rock back and forth, why I spin in circles, why I refuse to sleep, why I'm forgetting everything. I don't even know anymore. And for some reason, I wish they would put me in the hospital just so I can get help. UGH.

Okay. Rant over.


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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 27th 2010, 03:07 AM

Hey there, I'm very sorry that you are having a tough time. Have things always been this way? Just because your brother is autistic doesn't mean you deserve the attention and help that you deserve. Try not to think of yourself as an annoying, a problem.

What exactly do you mean by your meds going 'wacko'? Picking at your lips and fingers may be because you are nervous. Do you have any sort of anxiety? If going to the mental hospital seems like a good opportunity to you, then I would give it a try. You deserve to be happy.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 27th 2010, 03:58 AM

No, it's just. Well. I KNOW I'm annoying. My mom even screamed at me, "PAIGE, STOP IT, YOU'RE NOT MENTALLY RETARDED, STOP DOING THAT." And I need to talk to someone like. now. Someone my age and knows what I'm going through.

And I take about 5(?) different medications for the Bipolar and for concentration, and mood stabilizers and all that jazz. And they're all off. so now I'm just going INSANE and no one understands this andandand ugh. Yeah, I'll stop now because I know I'm just complaining. And meh. Now I'm near tears because I want to be happy and I forgot what it feels like to be happy. God help me.


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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 27th 2010, 03:52 PM

I'm very sorry that your feeling this way Have you told your mother that your pills aren't working for you? That they are off? I'm not sure if you are seeing a therapist or not but that may help you as well. Don't feel bad about complaining, its perfectly fine. How long has it been since you have smiled? Have you lost all joy you used to get when you do hobbies or talk to those you love? How long have things been this way?


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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 28th 2010, 12:53 AM

Do you think your stress is causing your thumb picking, and so on? Being on an emotional roller coaster can cause that. I have anxiety and will sometimes find myself doing things like that as a way of distracting myself, I suppose. If that's why you're doing it, maybe you can find another way to distract yourself? I knit now, which helps.

Also, how long have you been on this mixture of medications? Medications for mental issues are really touchy and affect people differently. This mix just might not be working for you right now and maybe something needs to be adjusted.
   
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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - November 29th 2010, 04:23 PM

Hi Paige. Iv stayed in a Psychiatric hopsital where there are lots of people with Bipolar Disorder. I think that as you and your family are suffering so much from it, it might be worth going to check out whether or not you should go to a Psychiatric hospital. They look after you 24/7 and give you the help and medication you need to help you get better. If your interested, or want to know anything about these hospitals (thats if you dont know about them already) then PLEASE feel free to ask me anything


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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - December 5th 2010, 01:52 AM

Im sorry you have bipolor I might have bipolor. You deserve the same attention your brother gets. let your parents no this bugs you that you need more time with them. Finding the right treatment will be the best thing so you dont feel wacko as you said. Maybe a mentla hospital will help with the meds. Good luck
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Re: Anyone who wants to listen. (rant) - December 5th 2010, 04:43 AM

Hey Paige,
While nobody could say they know exactly what you're going through I'm pretty sure I can say I have an idea. I have bipolar too, and like you my parents didn't understand. I didn't even know there was something really wrong with me until I got into college! Before then it was always my parents asking me why I hurt myself, why I didn't do well in school some weeks and so bad in others, why I always got in fights, and etc..
When I got to college I started asking myself those same questions and got some help. It took a long time and a lot of trial and error with a lot of different medication. It takes time to find what medication works for you and even what dose.
And it's not easy for your parents, as I'm sure you know. Have your parents done research and read any books? It's a lot easier to cope and deal when everyone involved in your care network is well educated. I think the book that has helped me and my fiance the most is Facing Bipolar by Federman and Thomson, they're both doctors who deal with bipolar a lot.
As far as being sent to a hospital just because of your bipolar, that seems a bit drastic. You have a treatable disability, not autism or down syndrome. There are so many different combinations of medications, so many types of therapy, and so many changes to your diet or physical activities that have all been down to help to varying degrees. There's no need to be sent away away there are so many better options.


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