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hannahrosex3 Offline
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Name: Hannah
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Unhappy My mind does not belong to me. - December 8th 2010, 11:25 PM

I've been diagosed with clinical depression, OCD, panic disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I'm only 14 years old.

I'm currently taking 6 pills a day because of it. (1 Zoloft substitute, and 2 additional types ; morning and night.)

I started taking these because I got random urges and thoughts that I was going to hurt myself or someone I love. I wanted to hurt myself because I thought it was the only way to prevent myself from hurting others.

2 long years later, I was better. Everything was going fine. Anxiety was still there, but very barable. My friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer. (Please don't think I'm being selfish talking about my problems while she is in more trouble than I am, because that whole issue is another big problem alone) My anxiety is back where it used to be. I'm once again afraif of myself, and I feel like I am not in control of my own body and mind. I get panic attacks and chest pains from random bursts of depression. I feel as if I am going to hurt someone, even though I really REALLY do not want to. My mind convinces me otherwise.

I constantly feel like I need to be locked up. I'm afraid I'm losing my mind... I don't want to hurt anyone.. I honestly don't. I also don't want to do harm to myself but I get these urges that are so hard to shake off.

What do I do? I don't want to start back where I was. (Which was HELL!)

Last edited by hannahrosex3; December 8th 2010 at 11:45 PM.
   
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Janelle Offline
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Re: My mind does not belong to me. - December 12th 2010, 06:17 PM

I too have anxiety and my symptoms seem to go up and down, depending on what is going on in my life or just for no reason at all! It's actually a symptom of anxiety to feel like you are losing your mind or not in control of yourself. However, there is nothing about anxiety that will make you go "crazy", if that gives you some peace of mind. It's a really horrible feeling, and I think when you have anxiety it makes it worse. It's good that you're recognizing having a bit of a rough period, because I find when I know that and am able to do things to help myself I will get back on track sooner.

How long have you been on your medication for? Do you feel it helped you, and is it helping you still? That might be something worth discussing with your doctor. Also, have you learned any anxiety "techniques"?
   
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