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Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 02:58 AM

I know the title sounds a bit weird but I want to see if anyone else gets this, and if so, to what music, what do you imagine, etc... .

for me, if I'm listening to certain music, especially Rob Zombie songs, I get this feeling, like I just start imagining this (not sure why but it's fun then annoying). I imagine that, as odd as it sounds, I've killed, tortured a whole bunch of people (I only watch this, don't do it). Anyways, with these songs, I don't exactly imagine myself doing it per say but rather filming it and using the music as a background. Or, simply hearing the songs and getting the wonderful rushes I get when I watch the torture/aftermaths of accidents/killings, and really want to do it. I've read about various serial killers and psychopaths (doing a paper for abnormal psychology on Dr. Hare's book about psychopaths) and it seems to me like an amazing way to get glory and gratification. This can also happen if I'm walking somewhere, see someone and want to and imagine this, or if it's a hot girl, imagine a bit of damage to her then fucking her but not killing. Usually they're fully (or almost) clothed but I haven't really done this before.

So, does anyone else get something similar? You hear a song, imagine some clips of you killing/torturing people, filming it and putting that music as a background? Happens to a few other songs, but not all the songs by the same band, even if the other ones are "aggressive".

Such as, listening to Feel So Numb by Rob Zombie, even thinking about it, I just get these rushes of excitement, thrilling, feeling all warm and just wanting to do it. But then I get annoyed when I know if I do that, I'm screwed. I want to pursue a career in medicine or forensic psychology, and doing that would just screw it up so badly.

I can easily imagine and watch the videos without any background music and get the same feelings. The things that I imagine sometimes are replays from some videos or it's my own little creations. 2 of my psychiatrists talked about some of it to me a few weeks ago, which was pretty fun.

A few of my friends have told me that when I listen to those songs or imagine (I don't tell them what I'm imagining), that I just get this deep stare at whatever and not really much of anything else, maybe a little grin or smile because the feeling is amazing.

But afterwards, it goes away. I'm back to feeling nothing and I want it back. Or just looking at someone passing by, such as if they stare at me a bit, and if I'm in the mood, need to relax or just bored, I want to go up and tear them to pieces, kill them painfully. Afterwards, I imagine walking away and getting something from starbucks or something else and just moving on.

So, does anyone else get this? Maybe I've imagined while listening to Rob Zombie and that's why I get this, which may be the case but usually I don't listen to any music (distracts me from the sounds in the videos).

I know one of my friends (me and him are pretty close), like to joke around a bit, and he teases me about killing and torture, then I do the same to him. Afterwards, we play a video game or go to tim hortons, and sometimes chuckle while eating/drinking at the cashiers. Usually I talk and he laughs a bit. Last time we met, which was only a few days ago, we did this then laughed a bit about university life (he goes to a different university) but we went to the same highschool. He was a bit of I suppose what a narcissist would be, although he hasn't done much damage, only broke a few kids' legs, stabbed someone with a screwdriver, etc... but nobody he's not violent and nobody was hurt.

Anyways, so does anyone get this with the music or imagining the stuff?
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 04:13 AM

i dont really imagine doing any of that when i listen to music, but i often think of different ways to kill people. like i will just be hanging out with some friends and i will just start daydreaming about killing someone. like what would the best knife be to do the job. what kind of non prescription drugs can i combine to kill someone. its weird that i think of these things and i thought that i was the only one. i wouldnt actually go out and do any of these things. and even if i wanted to i wouldnt actually say so but i think of some weird things to do to people. but not while listening to music or watching videos. except when i watched the Saw movies, i thought that the way some of the people were killed were pretty great.
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 04:31 AM

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Originally Posted by losthope1620 View Post
i dont really imagine doing any of that when i listen to music, but i often think of different ways to kill people. like i will just be hanging out with some friends and i will just start daydreaming about killing someone. like what would the best knife be to do the job. what kind of non prescription drugs can i combine to kill someone. its weird that i think of these things and i thought that i was the only one. i wouldnt actually go out and do any of these things. and even if i wanted to i wouldnt actually say so but i think of some weird things to do to people. but not while listening to music or watching videos. except when i watched the Saw movies, i thought that the way some of the people were killed were pretty great.
Hah, the Saw movies were hilarious when they got to the good stuff. Oh, I really want to do the killings and torture as idk, it'd be fun.
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 12:09 PM

... hey.. you could possibly have synthesia though i cannot diagnose this... well that's what i think...i feel the same thing... its weird right? and yet you know that its something wrong... if it starts getting to you, stop. you dont really wanna start doing that just from some experience with music. its happened several times to me... well i listened to this really sad and deppressing song once... and well... when the .. sort of trance thing stopped... i found out i hurt myself.. i didn't intend it of course but the feeling was just so...

intense?

but dont base everything on what i just said

Last edited by Prozac; February 26th 2009 at 08:27 PM. Reason: do not diagnose psychiatric conditions
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 09:12 PM

yeah i found myself wanting to try the shit they do in Saw. some of the stuff is lame but the others, its just amazing how some one can come up with such sick and twisted things. like this might seem really mean, but i used to think of ways to kill my own mom. like i didnt think i hated her that much, or hated her period, but i used to always think of ways to kill her. injection, pills, mutilation.
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 25th 2009, 09:19 PM

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Originally Posted by ieatpeople View Post
... hey.. you have synthesia... well that's what i think...i feel the same thing... its weird right? and yet you know that its something wrong... if it starts getting to you, stop. you dont really wanna start doing that just from some experience with music. its happened several times to me... well i listened to this really sad and deppressing song once... and well... when the .. sort of trance thing stopped... i found out i hurt myself.. i didn't intend it of course but the feeling was just so...

intense?

but dont base everything on what i just said
No, I don't think I have synethesia. I'm well aware of what it is, and no, I don't have it. I'm not unable to discriminate various sensory inputs, either that, or everyone has synethesia. No, I don't want to kill simply due to the music. It's been going on long before the music, killed some animals, crushed a bunch of people, etc... . I don't think it's synethesia one bit. It's reaction to music, emotional reaction, in my case I don't know what to call it. It's not anger, not happiness, just excitement, a rush, wanting to kill over and over.

Quote:
Originally Posted by losthope1620
yeah i found myself wanting to try the shit they do in Saw. some of the stuff is lame but the others, its just amazing how some one can come up with such sick and twisted things. like this might seem really mean, but i used to think of ways to kill my own mom. like i didnt think i hated her that much, or hated her period, but i used to always think of ways to kill her. injection, pills, mutilation.
Yeah, the stuff in Saw is cool but it's fake. I like watching the stuff of real people, getting things like beheaded, torn in half, screaming in their blood or seeing the aftermath: head blown off, dead kid in the street, person torn in half, etc... . I haven't thought of many ways to kill my mother, but I will admit, I have killed several animals, helped bring others to commit suicide (in their notes), done tons of manipulation for pretty much whatever I want, etc... . Haven't really done any killing to humans, although did try to slit my father's throat but that doesn't really count.

Last edited by InSovietRussiaORGASMGotU; February 25th 2009 at 09:27 PM.
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 26th 2009, 08:05 PM

yeah the stuff in Saw is cool but it's fake. I like watching the stuff of real people, getting things like beheaded, torn in half, screaming in their blood or seeing the aftermath: head blown off, dead kid in the street, person torn in half, etc... . I haven't thought of many ways to kill my mother, but I will admit, I have killed several animals, helped bring others to commit suicide (in their notes), done tons of manipulation for pretty much whatever I want, etc... . Haven't really done any killing to humans, although did try to slit my father's throat but that doesn't really count.[/quote]

no doubt the real shit is better. i havent ever killed any animals besides mice or rats to feed to a snake. and i havent helped any one to commit suicide at all. last year i actually helped prevent one. but thats besides the point. never killed any humans either... altho id love to see some people die. like my father. but thats a diffrent story.. so what other kind of shit do you do and think about? i find you quite interesting, and would like to know more about you, if thats ok.
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 03:23 AM

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no doubt the real shit is better. i havent ever killed any animals besides mice or rats to feed to a snake. and i havent helped any one to commit suicide at all. last year i actually helped prevent one. but thats besides the point. never killed any humans either... altho id love to see some people die. like my father. but thats a diffrent story.. so what other kind of shit do you do and think about? i find you quite interesting, and would like to know more about you, if thats ok.
Sometimes I get what seems to be a voice or some thoughts that slam into my head, not sure what they are all the time that instruct me step-by-step what damage to do, how to do it, etc... . Other times there are various kinds of hallucinations, mostly visual but also some auditory. Visual is anything from blood pouring out of my bed, to someone standing in my doorway talking to me, to a clown face on the wall that's screaming with blood pouring from its eyes, mouth, etc..., crawlers under the bed or up the walls, seeing parts of torn apart people on the bus, and whatever else that I happen to see.

I love power, control, both in talking and in getting it physically. I've made a select few people bow down to me (then the proceeded to get a few kicks). Power is just something completely amazing, something you got to have. A few things you need in life, are power and need to look out for number one.

Usually if I get in the mood, I think about the killings and torture, sometimes draw a bit, or replay scenes or invent my own scenes. A few times I've re-arranged a room to mostly match some scenes and then only realized afterwards that I was arranging it in that fashion.

I'm not going to type out a life history so be more specific. I'm interested in you also, tell me more about yourself, just as I did for you.
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 03:41 AM

You two are some sick fucks, i often day dream about having sex with no clothing on! And i also dream of killing losthope in her sleep because i know where she sleeps! i also day dream about cutting my boyfriends dick off and shoving it deep inside me
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 04:30 AM

i had a day dream once where my room was covered in blood, my door was made of insects, and i had a private room where i tortured people. i took my sister in the room and i was putting needles threw her arm and ripping the out so there would be a gash. i cut off her fingers and made her eat them. i dont even remember half the shit that i used to think of. i dont think any of this compares to you though. i dont know what else you want to know. so if there is anything else, tell me.

by the way, are you male or female?
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 06:15 AM

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You two are some sick fucks, i often day dream about having sex with no clothing on! And i also dream of killing losthope in her sleep because i know where she sleeps! i also day dream about cutting my boyfriends dick off and shoving it deep inside me
I'm not sure if this is a compliment or insult. I'll take it as a compliment.

Quote:
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i had a day dream once where my room was covered in blood, my door was made of insects, and i had a private room where i tortured people. i took my sister in the room and i was putting needles threw her arm and ripping the out so there would be a gash. i cut off her fingers and made her eat them. i dont even remember half the shit that i used to think of. i dont think any of this compares to you though. i dont know what else you want to know. so if there is anything else, tell me.

by the way, are you male or female?
Male.

Heh, sounds like something fun. You said "i used to think of". So, what made it stop and what do you think of now?
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 10:58 AM

You wont believe this but when i listen to rob zombie i get real weird.I start feeling like killing and raping and stuff too.Its like you get this rush.Especially scum of the earth.That song always gets me weird.
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 04:29 PM

That was not a compliment!
   
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - February 27th 2009, 04:50 PM

i really dont know what made it stop. i just dont think about this shit much anymore. idk why it stopped either. i kinda wish that it would come back. i think that it went away when i stopped being suicidal or something. theres no other reason i could think of. i have always had this fetish thing for knives though. cant explain that either. i just like them. i used to chase my sister around the house with knives. ilovejason can verify that too.
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Re: Music and imagining killing? - March 1st 2009, 03:52 AM

I don't have violent fantasy's, but I know sometimes when I'm listening to certain songs I visualise me doing things/other things happening it to the music. If it has a certain sort of vibe or beat the likelihood of this increases. Perhaps the music is just linked to that part of your mind somehow?
   
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