TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
BlueWolf's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

What is Happening? - January 29th 2011, 06:19 PM

I was wondering if this is a common thing or not. It's kinda making me worry... Things have gotten much worse, and not due to events, just from my mind. It's like everything has just been festering inside more and more and I have been questioned EVERYTHING. It's brought this kind of fear on of everything and everyone. When little things occur, I'm thrown into some sort of crazy frenzy over something simple. By frenzy I mean... I'm guessing it's like a panic attack, but I have no idea what classifies as one. Basically I'll find myself feeling panicy, heart, and deserapte to escape out of myself. I'll thrash, cry and scream. I've left a few bruises from fighting with myself. It's like I completely lost it. The more recent time I did this was just the other day, and it was bad. It was like I was like having one of my angry fits only worse. I got angry at my boyfriend, but at first I was nice to him and just tried to take a drive. He was worried I'd do something bad and refused to let me go and that triggered it. I got hysterical and started freaking out. He had to hold me down to keep me from hurting myself or him. I was fine after an hour though. It was wierd.

I think what is causing this are the images of previous events that have been bothering me much more than usual and cause me to question everything and like I said, it brings a sort of panic. Everything seems altered and strange when I start thinking in that way. It's like part of me was shoved aside and something else has taken over and forcing me to space out and see things I don't want to see. Think things I never want to think again. It's making me even more angry at people and be so much more afraid. Like... I start believing out rageous stuff that I later realize cannot be true. Just crazy, out there suspicions that later leave.

The pain has become unbareable and I'm doing things I never once did. I still cut, but only a little. It's like I've become immune to what it once provided for me, so now I have no use of it. I've been leaving bruises and I even picked up weed. Still nothing helps. I've been turning inside of myself. Lately, I've started putting myself on autopiolet to get through the day. When I talk, I do not usually talk in my voice. I've turned inward and it's like I'm hiding inside my head in a world I create and numbing the outside so I don't have to feel. In my head there is an entire world that i can live in. I am concious and aware of what is happening around me... to a degree. I know when people are talking to me, I hear what they are saying. It's hard to explain, but I kinda throw aside the idea of self awareness. The idea of self. I stay like this usually for a few hours before regaining myself back. There has been a time or two when I did this, and I had no conciousness at all. I was awake, but I don't remember something that I said or did. Those times last only a few minutes, and I know I do it because I am told of it. Normally I know, but I have no control. It's like I have no real thought process or concepts, just repeating words I've heard. It's like living a life that's not real, walking in a dream-like trance all the time. I guess that is the best way to describe it. I think I am doing it to protect myself, but I am also gaining less control over it as time goes on.

I'm considering talking to my doctor about it, if I happen to actually be there mentally. At the same time I am worried about doing that. Is this really strange? Any of this? Or is this some sort of healing process and I'm just being worried over nothing as usual?


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Ella.x's Avatar
 
Name: Ella
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 1,461
Join Date: February 24th 2009

Re: What is Happening? - January 29th 2011, 06:28 PM

I have had some very similar experiences to you. I haven't actually sorted myself out yet, so I probably won't be much help. however, when you do go to the doctor, I suggest taking with you a list of your symptoms, or even a copy of this post as it can be helpful for them to have when they think about diagnosing you with anything. I currently have a piece of paer with all the symptoms I've been experiencing written on it and I plan on taking it to my doctor on monday. I've written it over a few days and some of it doesnt make sense, but I think it will help as some of the things I usually will have forgotten about when I go back to "normal" from my emotional "breakdowns".
Sorry I couldn't be more help, but definately think about writing things down when you're feeling at your worst so you have something to show your doctor, which I would definately suggest as they can refer you to the correct proffessionals to help you.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
BlueWolf's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

Re: What is Happening? - January 29th 2011, 06:50 PM

I already have a diagnosis, but there have been quite a few things I haven't mentioned, plus some stuff is new. I don't know what might be important or not and I'm nervous about saying everything. There is way too much to say and I'm not even sure how to actually say it. I don't know if my first post even made any sense, but that's the best way I can put it into words.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
xsunkissesx Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
xsunkissesx's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 6
Join Date: January 31st 2011

Re: What is Happening? - January 31st 2011, 05:30 PM

I've had extremely similar experiences, but I won't go into detail. I think that they're panic attacks, like you said, but I haven't actually gotten a diagnosis or anything. They happened years ago, but now they have gone away. Yours might too, but I can't say for sure. First of all, I'm so sorry for you, because I know that awful feeling all too well. My advice might not help a lot since this happened to me years ago, but I'll try my best:

First of all, I don't know if this is happening to you, but never blame yourself for this, because you have absolutely no control over it. You aren't crazy. Secondly, I know this is kind of weird, but try to go out with friends and have fun. Why? I don't exactly know, but it works. The more that I laughed and smiled, the less I had attacks. And now, I don't have any at all. It might be hard at first, but if you're like me, eventually you'll start having less attacks. Again, I don't know why, but it worked for me. Also, tell your close friends and family about this. Your family probably knows already, but make sure that the people you are around a lot know. They need to know what is happening to you, so that they don't freak out if you have an attack. Just tell them whats happening, and just tell them to get out of the way so that you don't hurt them. Unless they are strong and can hold you down.

Sorry if this didn't help at all... I wish you luck!
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: What is Happening? - January 31st 2011, 05:55 PM

Hey Jessica,

I've felt that way before too. I think it's normal with any type of Depression, or mental illness where Depression is a symptom. I think its like, your mind is trying to disassociate because its trying to protect itself.

In fact, just yesterday I started panicking and crying because my only clean pair of pants had a hole in them I needed to sew. My boyfriend was trying to calm me down, because I was genuinely freaking about it. Then after like, less than an hour, I had calmed down and was ready to make a trip to the grocery store. He doesn't understand my moods and what sets me off, but neither do I.

Honestly, talk to your doctor. Maybe you need a different antidepressant or something? Usually, medications need to be played around with extensively to get the desired results. I've known people who had to go through half a dozen different antidepressants before finding one that worked.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
BlueWolf's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

Re: What is Happening? - January 31st 2011, 06:36 PM

I get the whole, I'm just trying to go inward part. That makes sense Julz, and it sounds right. However, I don't just cry or panic. When I panic, at least I think it's panic... I freak out completely. Scream, thrash... I find myself on the floor biting into stuff and hitting myself and clawing at myself. I can't help it, it's not like I just want to. It's that this pain has taken over and I'm terrified at the same time. If someone is around and don't give me space then they'll wind up getting hurt Luckily my boyfriend is more than strong enough to hold me down until I calm down. It's even lasted for a couple hours before coming in waves before I settle down completely.

Going with my friends does not help me, especially not when my friends all live very far away and I have no way to get to them.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: What is Happening? - February 1st 2011, 04:28 PM

Yeah Jess, I have a bad fear of driving, and I actually punched my ex and bruised him up a bunch when I had a bad panic attack. That is actually why I won't let my current boyfriend teach me how to drive.

Sometimes panic attacks can be violent, and though it's not common, its also not extremely abnormal. You get what I mean? Maybe if this is happening, you should talk to your doctor about your medicines. You COULD have a Panic Disorder that needs to be treated, or more likely (since you speak of this as if its a relatively recent occurrence) anything you're on right now could be giving you side effects.

No matter what it is causing this, a disorder or a side effect, you'll still need to talk to the doctor and get it figured out, and get treatment to accommodate such.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
happening

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.