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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 02:29 PM

It has taken me years to get the courage to admit anything about my mental health to my mum. I got a job offer retracted because of being "unstable" and my mum has been asking me for about a week and a half why the offer got retracted and today I managed to tell her in a text that it got retracted because of mental health reasons and that I need to prove that I'm stable for 2-3 years before I can have that job. Vague and basic, I know, but it feels like a huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.
Now, I just need to be stable for a couple of years. I think I've reached a turning point today. I have a plan. I'm going to stop drinking, stop self-harming, stop abusing my medication and start allowing myself to be happy.
I haven't let my guard down around other people for such a long time. I've made myself worse, I've almost emotionally abused myself in a way, putting myself down and not letting myself be happy. I've sabotaged relationships and oppurtunities and I've messed my own life up. I'm absolutely terrified of getting rid of this part of me even though I want to. My unhappiness has become a part of me and I'm not entirely sure who I'll be at the end of this recovery process. Any tips on letting myself be happy? I'm really scared.
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Re: I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 03:45 PM

It's brilliant that you told your mom, well done. It's also fantastic that you trying to turn your life around. I think you just have to do what you said and stop drinking and SHing and then allow yourself to be happy. If things go wrong don't be too hard on yourself just let them pass and try to think more positively. I think you'll find you don't have to make yourself be happy, it will come by itself.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 04:09 PM

I think you are very brave to have taken this step on the road to recovery. Happiness is open to us all and again you have be brave and allow it into your life. It sounds as though you lack self-esteem and don't value yourself, you can put this right.

Here is a link to one of my articles on this subject http://www.ivillage.co.uk/print?nid=81452

You are as worthwhile as the next guy or girl, we all deserve happiness in our life and I hope you find some. One of the best tips I can give you, is to try lots of things and keep yourself occupied. I hope you are getting professional help and soon will be well on the road to recovery.

'Happiness is within you, reach for yours and don't let anyone get in your way, stay strong and start believing today"
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 05:16 PM

sounds like you're heading in the right direction. must have been scary telling your mum - that's a huge step. what kind of professional help are you getting? do you draw, write, paint, dance, sing? i think getting yourself into a hobby that you love is a fantastic way to channel emotion. it takes a lot of courage to realise you need to make changes, i hope things start improving for you!

..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..

  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 06:05 PM

Yeah, it was terrifying telling her. I almost puked right after I sent the text because the stress and fear of her reaction made me feel so sick.

I used to really like cooking and I'm still good at it, but I'm struggling to eat anything that I cook because I hate myself so much thatI don't want to give myself credit for doing something well. I've never really had any other hobbies apart from reading, but I find it really hard to concentrate at the moment so it takes me ages to read and then I get bored. I'm definately going to start cooking for my friends more though. I definately need a hobby though, just have to find something free and that I can't use against myself as a punishment (exercise/food/alcohol related stuff etc). So far the closest thing to a hobby I have is watching Jeremy Kyle haha.

I had an initial psychiatric assessment this morning and the community mental health team are going to discuss my case next wednesday and then ring me to tell me what they've decided to do with me. So until then, I don't have a clue what kind of support I'm going to be getting.

I'm pretty nervous about changing, I don't want to lose sight of what's important or become someone completely different.
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Re: I told my mum - February 3rd 2011, 06:29 PM

Ella, as long as your mom reacted semi-supportively, you'll be OK. Remember you have her to talk to now, since she knows.

Also, if you enjoy cooking and are good at it, have you considered looking into school for it? My boyfriend is in Culinary School and he loves it. Though I don't know how programs work over there, here the Canadian Mental Health Association is great with setting up people with mental illnesses with careers, and even schooling. So at the very least, that may be something to consider if you haven't already.

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