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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Alto. Offline
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Unhappy Need To Say This - February 15th 2011, 01:57 AM

I don't know how to say this, I really don't. I've told two people ever, but I don't want to keep it to myself anymore. I don't want to be afraid. The first person I told this to told me to grow up; I told him when I was eleven(he was the only person I told to his face, I knew him personally, he thought I was lieing). I told someone else(a girl from here through a text message when I was freaking out) and she believes me, but tells me that I need to get help.

For all of you who've known me for awhile, I promise that I'm still Eclipse Dee. Really, please don't think any less of me(that's the reason I'm so afraid to tell people, but I want to let other people know). I think that I might be schizophrenic. I've been seeing and hearing things that couldn't be there since I was really little. When I was little, I'd cry a lot, I'd tell my parents and siblings but they all blamed it on an overactive imagination. I believed them that it was just that, and the things I saw weren't as scary to me anymore. I'm thirteen now, I know the difference between what's real and what isn't. I no longer have an overactive imagination, I will at times, but only when I'm writing. I know how to control it now. I'm too old for it. I don't hear them often, and when I do it's not like they're talking to me, I hear more of bits of a conversation that was carried off by the wind. I see them all the time. I see a lot of different things, most of them look human so sometimes it's hard for me to tell myself that they're not there. There is one that I've seen(I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure he was the one who scared me so bad as a young child) since forever, and I see him all the time. He's like a shadow, but more there. He's about six foot two inches, and his name is Daniel. About two or three weeks ago he scared me so bad while I was brushing my teeth that I ran upstairs to my room and cried. He normally doesn't scare me like that. He always scares me, but never enough to make me run or cry. I can normally handle it. He didn't seem more real, though I used to see him once a week, now I'm seeing him every day. He doesn't seem more real then the rest of them, if anything he seems less real since he doesn't have a face(or maybe he does, I'm not sure. All I ever see is a shadow that has density). He scares me all the time, but I can always take it. I don't know why he scared me so bad a few weeks ago. They never come into my room, that's why I always feel safe in there. I've only ever seen three in there, and they weren't scary, they just startled me from coming out of nowhere.

Sorry, I just had to get this off my chest.


wanderer come home
you're not too far
lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
come as you are.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
you'rebeautiful Offline
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Re: Need To Say This - February 16th 2011, 11:03 PM

Hey there (:
To start, I really commend you for deciding to share this with everyone... I know that you've been frightened, and that it's never easy allowing yourself to be so vulnerable... even to the people who care about you most. I'm really sorry that the first person you told was so unkind... this can be a difficult thing for friends and family to swallow, but you deserve so much better. I really hope you continue to get the same sort of support that you got from the other friend you opened up to.

That said, I think that she's right... this is disrupting your life, and talking to someone about it wouldn't be a bad idea at all. You could get help to make Daniel and the rest go away. Sometimes these things get worse over time. Please think about it? Getting help couldn't hurt<3.

I hope that everything works out beautifully, and let me know if there's anything that I can do for you.
<3 Ada.







I believe thatyou're inherently beautiful : )




   
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