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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
cheza Offline
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what is happening to me? - March 15th 2011, 10:29 PM

Okay, So I am 17 years old (for real) and my name is Ashley. I have always had emotional problems one minute extreemly happy the next really depressed or angry. when I was 13 I started going on all kinds of chatrooms and online dating sites with fake pictures, fake ages, fake names. I would have multiple different accounts on different websites. I would talk to complete strangers and make up all these completely fake stories about my life. I would get so into my stories that while i was telling them i myself would almost believe them. after a while of doing that i became obsessed with telling lies. When i was 15 i moved to a new town and made alot of new friends but all of my friendships are completely fake i have lied to all of my friends about things that have happened in my life. recently i have been telling alot more serious lies about very serious things one of them the police go involved in and still never suspect that its not true that was a year ago. lately i have been having blank moments where my friends or family will talk about things i said or did and i dont remember it at all. i am starting to get my lies confused with reality. one morning i woke up and had no memory at all of what i did the day before. i asked one of my friends and she told me that i came to school and told everyone that i was Ashley's identical twin sister that was sent away to a private school but came back home now. apparently i acted completely different than my usual self and got in a fight with this girl that had been bothering me. i am not the kind of person that likes to get into fights i really dont remember it at all im wondering if my friends are playing a trick on me. this morning i woke up and again i dont remember what i did yesterday and im to afraid to ask anyone. i am starting to get scared that one day i wont ever remember who i am ever again. i just want to be myself for the first time in my life and im not even sure who i am anymore what is wrong with me
   
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 15th 2011, 11:50 PM

I think you need to start confronting all your lies and own up to them the first thing you need to do then all the people you lied to say sorry I lied for what ever reason and then tell them the real you with no lies. In the end you dont want fake friends just causes more drama as you can see. You need start just being you not trying to be some one else. Be opean with your friends tell them who you really our no lies once you tell your friends the real you then it will get easir you no longer have to think who am I going to be today and you no longer have to remmber your lies. There will be less drama and confusion in your brain if you just are you so you dont have to make up lies and try to remmber them.

Did any thing tramatic happen to you in your life? If something tramatic did happen to you then you might just be acting out because of that trying to run not literaly from what happend to not think about it. Or acting out to get a sense of control over your life. I blank out too sometimes and only remeber pieces of things. Maybe go see a therapist and tell them about your mood swings they could really help you out with them and the promblem with you wanting to not be yourself.

Hope this helped need any thing else you can pm me if you want or email me huggss.
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 16th 2011, 12:56 AM

Ask your self why you are lying.
Is it because You are uncomfortable with who you really are?
Do you like the attention you get when you tell a big story?
Does having a dramatic story make you feel important?
Is it just a compulsion that blurts out?
The times that you don't recall sound like a dislocative state or a fugue state... but I'm no expert.
I would definitely clear up any lies that involve the authorities first.
I you feel like you can't own up to all your lies, at least deal with the ones that involve the law first.
And TALK to a professional
Love,
Annali


"Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining"- Owl City
   
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cheza Offline
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 16th 2011, 01:37 AM

"Ask your self why you are lying.
Is it because You are uncomfortable with who you really are?
Do you like the attention you get when you tell a big story?
Does having a dramatic story make you feel important?
Is it just a compulsion that blurts out?"

it just comes naturally to me i can lie without the slightest hint and i dont do it because i want to or to get attention or because it makes me feel important its more like a reflex and half the time i dont realize im doing it. like for example someone will say something like im so hungry i didnt eat breakfast this morning and without even thinking i will say ya me to even though i did eat and im not that hungry thats a small example though. its like pathelogical or something maybe. as for being uncomfortable with who i really am i have been lying for so long that i dont really know myself anymore maybe lying is part of myself.
i really like that song called flawed design by stablio it makes me feel like maybe im not so strange
   
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 16th 2011, 03:40 AM

Thats not really lieing saying your hungry when your not thats just making small talk saying yeah me too. On the bigger things just think before you answer if that is what you want to say or a lie. If its a lie then switch it aorund to the truth and say it out loud.
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 20th 2011, 02:05 AM

I listened to flawed design by stablio and it's a good song
If it's just a reflex, then before you talk, take a breath and count to five and see whether if you are lying or not. Try to correct the lie before you say it. And yes I agree with the above, there's a difference between small talk and real lies.


"Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining"- Owl City
   
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Re: what is happening to me? - March 26th 2011, 03:06 AM

I have a friend that seems a lot like how you described yourself. I have caught her in a few lies and eventually she confessed to me everything or at least most. Although I am disappointed that she lied so much to me i dont hate her we are still friends. so if you confess im sure your real friends will stick with you and i garuntee you have at least one real friend out there and once you come clean you will feel sooo much better about yourself trust me As for the blackouts or whatever they are maybe its a personality disorder? you could always ask your doctor about it to be sure Also i love the song flawed design
   
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