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Can't make eye contact - March 17th 2011, 02:23 AM

I wasn't sure where to put this so I'll put it here.
I have a very hard time making eye contact without quickly looking away.
I got into therapy and I ended up quitting after a few weeks because I couldn't stand her looking at me the whole time while I just looked at the floor.

How do I overcome this?


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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 17th 2011, 02:30 AM

I would first suggest meta-thought on the issue. Why is it that eye contact bothers you? Also, does looking away bother you, if so: why?

There could be various reasonings for this ranging from dominance-related issues, to self-confidence, even including issues with direct social contact. If you could explain your inner thought processes with this issue we might be able to offer more direct advice.

If you haven't questioned yourself about these sorts of things: try it. It may be beneficial in the long run. If you can understand yourself at a root level you may be able to change your perceptions to match that which you'd like to experience.



   
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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 17th 2011, 05:51 PM

Well I find I can only make eye contact with people I trust. I think to overcome this you need to get to know your therapist and feel comfortable around her. Explain this and she will help you, maybe have a few sessions to get to know each other and then you can have a proper conversation. Even think of it has a competition (if you're comeptitve) and see if you can look at her longer than she looks at you. Although remember to keep listening. Good Luck!
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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 17th 2011, 06:22 PM

I've struggled making eye-contact with people too. It just feels so...awkward, and often it's like they can see right through you. Personally, I think I'm better at it now than when I was younger. When I was younger, I had a teacher send me to the school counselor because I wouldn't make eye contact with her. Oddly, whilst with the school counselor, I made eye contact the entire time.

I don't know. :/ It's not something I intentionally do/do not do.


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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 18th 2011, 04:23 AM

Thanks guys <3


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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 18th 2011, 08:32 PM

Honey it's okay it's probably a confidence thing. You're an awesomely cool sweet girl so you have lots to be confident about! Therapy is REALLY intimidating and can be super awkward, but you've gotta do it if it'll help.


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Re: Can't make eye contact - March 19th 2011, 02:40 AM

I'm the same way, I think for me it's a confidence issue. I took self defense this semester and I ended up being so scared of the master that I had to make a goal to look him in the eye and speak to him before the last class or I wouldn't have done it. I don't know why I was so scared of him. Anyway, that class fixed my confidence and now eye contact is easier. It might've also been a trust thing, the longer/better I know someone the easier it is.


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