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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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Depression over growing up - March 19th 2011, 01:24 PM

I think this is the most appropriate place for me to put the topic. So I am just about to leave my teenage years behind, I am in college right now. There is just so much fear and anxiety, I never thought this would be an issue. I consider myself fairly intelligent, so far I have maintained a 4.0 in college while focusing on a major in physics. There is just so much worry and sadness I have all the time about my future. Over the years, I have seen my family dwindle dramatically. My father died, my sister and I don't talk because she is an abusive mother and we fought over this, my other sister I never had much of a relationship, I really only have my mother. It feels like I'm going to lose her too, and that thought scares me more than anything. In addition, I worry that i'll even have a job, much less a well paying job. I always hear the market is bad, and I don't even know if I can get a job with physics anymore. Lastly, I feel like I will be alone forever. Admittedly, I am confused about my sexual orientation. I have liked a few girls, but never with any true passion. I have had only 1 kiss from a girl and I screwed it up. I don't get turned on by looking at attractive men or women, I am immensely confused. Is there anyone that can help this frightened, confused mama's boy?
   
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Re: Depression over growing up - March 19th 2011, 07:00 PM

Honestly, growing up sucks. I get upset about it occasionally, for sure, and I'm 23!

You're 19, you're still pretty young, you have plenty of time to figure these things out. You're in college, right? Perfect time for discovery. And is there any way you can relocate onto the campus? You may not like the time away from your mom, but it'll definitely help you clear your mind, and deal with growing up, having some independence.


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Re: Depression over growing up - March 19th 2011, 09:09 PM

I do dorm, almost done with spring break. It's always an ongoing battle, today I said to myself my sadness will bring me further down. I'm hoping I can follow that.
   
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Re: Depression over growing up - March 20th 2011, 02:01 AM

As a silly little teenager, I am supremely un qualified to give advice...
Honestly where you are right now with your degree and grades is what 15 year olds (well me) dream of, so you're doing pretty well.
Statistically speaking, your life is less than a quarter over, so the your best kiss or deepest love has probably not occurred yet.
The easiest way not to be depressed is to live in the now, to some extent.
You still have your mom and sisters, enjoy them on whatever terms you can. Try to get to know the sister you don't know as well better, and see if she can talk to your other sister.
Love,
Annali


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Re: Depression over growing up - March 20th 2011, 04:06 AM

Thanks that helped a bit. I mean the situation with my sisters is rocky. My oldest sister is 20 years older than I am, and I've only seen her a handful of times and she lives far away. She never had a strong relationship with my mom until she got sick (it's so weird my other sister was close with her until she got ill and now they don't talk explained further). My other sister abused my nephew for years, and it got so bad that I had to shall we say intervene by alerting authorities. She has a life worse than anything imaginable, but she abused him. I don't know if it'll ever be possible to have a relationship with her again. She barely talks to my other sister as well. But I've been thinking about it, really everything boils down to me not liking change and wanting an easy life. I mean, I can talk about so much almost all of us could. There is just so much chaos that has entered my life since my father passed 8 years ago, life has never been the same and I just crave the past so much. I am so scared of failing in the future. I feel like I just backtracked again, but it kind of relates I also miss the relationship I had with my sister, my dad, my childhood, not having obligations. It's just not reality and despite all the intellectual capabilities I have, I lack many of the mental capabilities still.
   
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Re: Depression over growing up - March 22nd 2011, 03:57 AM

Does your other sister know about your nephews situation? How close are you with your nephew?
Regarding your relationship with the sister closer in age, do you feel a relationship isn't possible because you don't forgive her, or because she blames you? Having a hard life doesn't excuse what she did, but it's does make one more sympathetic.
Maybe convince your sisters to support your mom together, with you, if she is ill? That way at least everyone is sort of talking.
You miss the past, but you probably only remeber the good parts. Honestly being a kid sucks. You can't drive, you can't do anything, you have a solid eight hours of school a day, you can't do anything you wouldn't want your parents to see.
And failing? What is the worst possible way you could fail? Are you a gladiator or something that means you die if you fail? You can always try again at whatever you fail at.
You definitely do have the mental capacity to survive. You have the determination and drive to get through college, and those are two really important traits.
Okay before I become a cliche I'm gonna stop,
Love
Annali


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