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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Two questions. :] - April 7th 2011, 01:11 AM

I have two questions. Maybe someone can help me with.

1) I have many friends who deal with flashbacks on various topics. So, I was just wondering- how can I help them? I am completely clueless when it comes to helping someone with flash backs.

2) I saw my counselor for the first time in months. She said she was on vacation this week and couldn't fit me in until next week unless it was an emergency. So, my question. What would classify as an emergency?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Two questions. :] - April 7th 2011, 01:41 AM

Hey there Lynds! :]
To answer your first question, I would say that there is not really a way to control them. The best thing you can most likely do for her is to try to talk to her, and comfort her when she has one. I used to have them all the time. They tend to go away after awhile, as you start to accept and conquer whatever she is having flashbacks about.

Your second question! I would consider an emergency, any situation where you think you are and want to physically hurt yourself, or someone else, or if you are having suicidal thoughts. In those cases not only would I notify your therapist, but also your local hospital, if you think you may need them.

Best of Luck with both of these dear! <3
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Two questions. :] - April 7th 2011, 01:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by princess View Post
Hey there Lynds! :]
To answer your first question, I would say that there is not really a way to control them. The best thing you can most likely do for her is to try to talk to her, and comfort her when she has one. I used to have them all the time. They tend to go away after awhile, as you start to accept and conquer whatever she is having flashbacks about.
Thank you so much for your help!
What kinds of things would I say to them?
I should have phrased my question better. I know you can't control a flash back, but what things could I say or do to comfort the person?


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Re: Two questions. :] - April 7th 2011, 01:49 AM

Well, it is usually comforting to know that it is not really happening. So just let her/him know that they are just flashback, and that the person is not going to hurt them again ( hopefully? don't actually say that thought).It is also good if you talk sort of calmly your friend will most likely already be frighted as is no need to scare them more. If you can get to them quickly another good thing to do would hug them, hold them close and just let them know that it is going to be alright.
I think it is great that you wanna help your friend so much! Your amazing girl! <3 <3
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Re: Two questions. :] - April 7th 2011, 05:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitter View Post

1) I have many friends who deal with flashbacks on various topics. So, I was just wondering- how can I help them? I am completely clueless when it comes to helping someone with flash backs.
I think you should find out what the topics are with the details about what happened at the time so you can better understand the content of the flashbacks. From this, not only can you tell the person they're safe, nothing is harming them and calm them, you can name the specific people/things they're experiencing to better relate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitter View Post
2) I saw my counselor for the first time in months. She said she was on vacation this week and couldn't fit me in until next week unless it was an emergency. So, my question. What would classify as an emergency?
I'd say an emergency would be anytime you are voluntarily or involuntarily admitted to a hospital on account of your mental health, as well as if you're planning to or already have injured someone else or yourself for whatever rationales. For example, saying to her "I failed my math test, I feel sad, this sucks, what should I do" or "my boyfriend/girlfriend broke up and I'm angry and sad" don't count as emergencies in the slightest. However, if you said "I failed my math test and carved 'FAILURE' into my chest and have taken 4x the normal dosage of certain pills" or "my boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with me, I smashed down 3 doors and strangled someone who looked like them", those would be emergencies. Alternatively, if you have increasing symptoms of whatever syndrome, such as mood to psychosis, more than usual and more intense than ever despite taking proper medication dosages, that may also be an emergency. I say "may" depending on the severity.


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Re: Two questions. :] - April 8th 2011, 01:59 AM

For the flashbacks, I had a friend that had one when I was with them...mostly I just held them in a hug, telling them that what happened was over, basically just reminding them I was there and nothing was currently happening and that everything was okay.

And I'd say hurting yourself or suicide is an emergency. Anything that could seriously hurt you. Like, I don't know that I'd consider a couple self inflicted shallow scratches would necessarily count as an emergency. But if you plan on going deep or something, that would be more of an emergency.
   
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Re: Two questions. :] - April 8th 2011, 03:57 AM

<3 you're very kind
I think that the best way to support someone having a flashback or dealing with flashbacks in general is to listen... to ask what you can do, and to just pay attention to what they may need. I think that it's different for different people. What helps me personally if it gets really bad, is being told that I'm safe. Sometimes being touched will make me panic, and sometimes having someone take my hand is comforting, grounding... so it depends on who you're comforting and when. Speaking steadily and telling them that you want them to take a deep breath, and that they're strong and completely safe right now is something that I do and I find that it calms people down in a lot of situations.

And as for an emergency... I think that you should take special consideration, since you're asking <3. If you need the support, insist, because you do deserve it. I would consider it an emergency if someone is having thoughts of harming themselves or someone else... even if those thoughts aren't being made into actions.

If you find that she can't help you, perhaps your school has a psychologist in addition to your regular counselors... and if that isn't feasible, you may even request to talk to another counselor.

<3<3Hope that helps.
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Re: Two questions. :] - April 8th 2011, 10:39 PM

Thank you all so much for your responses. They are really helpful.


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Re: Two questions. :] - April 9th 2011, 06:29 AM

Hey-

I can say, by far, the best thing that helps me when I'm in a flashback, is someone asking me the date and the time, whos around, etc. I used to have a friend who I asked to make me find five objects around the room and touch/feel them to remember where I'm at. Telling someone it's over is helpful, but for me it's even better if I kind of figure it out for myself so I'm not illogically thinking the person is lying.

Thought I'd just throw that in there lol. Good luck!



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Re: Two questions. :] - April 9th 2011, 07:54 AM

Lynds,

I'd go with Maria on this one. When your friend has had flashbacks, you do need to just be there for her and listen, yes. But if you want to help her get out of the cycle, ask her if she can tell you what the flashbacks were about and when and where it happened. Flashbacks are caused more often than not, because of something traumatic that happened. When you are able to understand the cause of the flashback, you can help her heal it. When she confronts what she's really feeling, it helps to understand why she has the flashbacks, and from there of course, the flashbacks can be stopped gradually as she talks more about why it happened as she tries to understand herself and her involvement in the flashback.

And, any point at which you feel unstable or feel like doing harm to yourself or something drastic, which you wouldn't normally do, is an emergency.

Take care of yourself <3


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