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jordan2712 Offline
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Unhappy Unsure about appearance :( Identity crisis? - April 16th 2011, 06:32 AM

So I'm 16 and I'm a guy and I'm always uncertain about how I look. I remember like 2-3 years ago I was taking pictures and I saw them after and I looked absolutely horrible - since then I haven't taken any pictures with anyone (mainly like at partys, special occasions, etc. with peoples digital cameras) just self-ones every once and a while on my computer webcam. So lately, I've been taking some on the webcam, and there will be days where I'll be extremely happy and super confident with my appearance and how I look in them... while on other days, which is about 8 times out of 10, I look absolutely horrible and ugly, and like a completely different person/monster. Maybe it's just the lighting or the fact that the webcam quality isn't that great (It's a Apple/Mac webcam on my MacBook) but still it's the same with a digital camera...I look bad constantly, just maybe like 2 times out of 10 I look good, the other 8 I'm absolutely ugly as sin. Could it be I'm just not photogenic? Cause sometimes because of these pictures, I truly do believe I look like that, despite knowing that there are sometimes the good ones......and also something that really makes me question looking bad in these pictures, is that, there's 4 absolutely, amazingly pretty, gorgeous girls who are the prettiest at their schools in their grade, who have said I'm hot (2 blondes and 2 brunettes - all really hot) and I think to myself when I see an ugly photo, how in the world could they think I'm hot or attractive? So I don't know, can anyone relate to this? Or tell me their opinion on what you think is wrong with me mentally or something? Any kinds words or helpful ones are very much appreciated, thanks. This is something that really really bothers me. I'm quite happy and super confident when I'm looking good in the pictures.. but my confidence is killed if later I decide to take pictures, I'll look absolutely horrible and I'll believe I look like that. Like I really don't know what I look like - to be brutally honest, when I'm happy with how I look, I think I'm one of the best looking guys in my grade...when I look ugly and I'm unhappy with what I'm seeing, I am literally a completely different person from my point of view as I look incredibly ugly..

Maybe I'm just not photogenic?? - or does that mean just not knowing how to pose your body and head and everything in relativity to the camera and stuff.. ? Cause I'm usually quite happy with myself when I look in the mirror.
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Re: Unsure about appearance :( Identity crisis? - April 16th 2011, 08:52 AM

It definitely seems like you have extremely low self-esteem and possibly depression and/or anxiety disorders (not enough to say yes or no to it though). Depending how intense these symptoms are, it could be body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), where a person is excessively concerned about a perceived flaw(s) somewhere on their body. Sometimes the flaw may be visible to others but people with BDD blow it out of proportion. Often they will want to correct whatever the perceived flaws are by surgery or they'll constantly pick at the area or try to "fix" it themselves, only making it look worse and they continue blowing it out of proportion.

I have a family member who has BDD, quite severely along with depression, anxiety and dependent personality disorder. I can tell you she'll look in anything reflective, whether it be mirror, pot, pan, window, water, etc... . Once she sees herself, she'll feel quite depressed and at times has gone into a fit of literally tearing layers of skin off her face.

I'm not saying you do any of that yourself but not all people with BDD do that.



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Re: Unsure about appearance :( Identity crisis? - April 16th 2011, 01:41 PM

A lot people never look as good in pictures as they do in real life. (: But it sounds to me as though you're suffering from low self-esteem. I hope this doesn't come out too patronising, but honestly a lot of people go through this around this age, and many people are much more insecure than you'd think. My younger brother went through something like this a while ago and was convinced he was ugly, and he's beautiful ~ all the girls in his year love him. (Weird to think about for me, but apparently true.) I really don't think you're as 'ugly' as you think you are and I'm sure other people don't think so too.

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Re: Unsure about appearance :( Identity crisis? - April 18th 2011, 05:56 AM

Some people are quite beautiful but do not photograph well. You might just be one of those people. I can personally tell you from my own experience that photographs are iffy things. Just have faith in yourself and those around you who care to tell the truth, not some five-second picture taken from a mirror.

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Re: Unsure about appearance :( Identity crisis? - April 22nd 2011, 04:09 AM

Youre probably not photogenic. One of my best friends is really good looking, but in pictures he always looks DISGUSTING. Like so bad you cant even lie about him looking good :P

Dont get down on yourself! A lot of people dont look good in photographs. Im sure you look great and those 2 out of 10 pictures dont lie. You cant take a good picture if youre ugly, but you can take an ugly one if youre good looking.

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acne, appearance, confidence, crisis, depression, identity, photos, self esteem, ugly, unsure

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