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Killionaire Offline
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What could I possibly have? - April 17th 2011, 10:40 PM

I've always wondered about what could be wrong with me. It's been widely acknowledged within my family that I have problems. Here are my "symptoms".
  • I stim, which I've learned is a key element of people on the Autistic spectrum. I have very vivid thoughts and daydreams, and whenever I'm too overwhelmed/excited, I have to clap, shake my hands, drum my fingers along something, or grab an object and pace around my room banging my hands against it.
  • I'm very paranoid. I'm constantly afraid that someone is talking trash about me, or looking/pointing at me in public settings. In fact, last week in the car, I almost had a nervous breakdown because I wore a shirt that I never really wore before. I'm afraid to be seen around my family in public, as well as some of my friends. How sad is that? I also close my blinds in my bedroom in fear of people walking by seeing me.
  • I have frequent bouts of rage, in which I think about an awkward/angry situation, and I freak out, pacing around my room, balling my fists up, and even roughly biting my hand to the point where the skin is beginning to dry up.
  • I frequently whisper/talk to myself, to the point where I have full conversations with myself.
  • I have a deeply-rooted schedule, and I'm afraid that doing something else would ruin it. For example, I watch TV during the nighttime until I sleep. I'm always afraid of doing something like playing video games, because it would ruin my schedule. Because of this, I freak the eff out when something different happens in my school day. I'm finishing senior year, and I'm horrified at the prospect of getting a job and going to a Junior/Community college for two years, and transferring to a University later.
  • I'm not socially awkward at all, but I exhibit some subtle details like a lack of eye contact, and goofy/forced smiles.
  • I don't like going out with friends. I feel like I'm limited somehow, and that I'm always a damper on the fun they have, so I rarely leave the house. My friends always make fun of me for doing it. I blatantly missed out on a lot of opportunities.
  • I have shitty self-esteem, and poor body image. I've been told by some people that I'm not that bad-looking of a person, but I'm constantly nervous about what people think about my hair, face, weight, height, etc. This causes me to wear the same clothes every day, and wear my hair in a ridiculous style, because I've been doing it for so long.
  • I have a hard time dealing with contrasting opinions and tastes. I have a "My way of thinking should be the only way of thinking" mentality.
   
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Re: What could I possibly have? - April 17th 2011, 11:08 PM

Hey,

We can't diagnose you with anything, but if your behaviours are worrying you, I suggest you see your doctor, a counselor, or a therapist.

Think of it this way: If there IS something wrong, they'd be able to pick up on it, and get you help for it. If there is nothing wrong, they can still help you out.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
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Re: What could I possibly have? - April 19th 2011, 12:30 AM

I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I'm just curious as to what my quirks resemble.
   
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Re: What could I possibly have? - April 19th 2011, 07:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Killionaire View Post
I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I'm just curious as to what my quirks resemble.
Which is, pretty much, an amateur diagnosis, which is something we don't do here.

However, I can tell you right now, it's extremely highly unlikely that you have Autism. If you did, you would've been diagnosed between the time you were 2-4. Autistic children don't develop at the same rate as "normal" children. They won't start speaking until they're 3 or 4 years old, usually.

If you're concerned that you have some Autistic features though, maybe Asperger's Syndrome is something you should talk to your doctor about. Asperger's Syndrome has a lot of similarities to Autism, but the childhood development is at a normal pace. You'll have to talk to your doctor to figure out this stuff either way, so if you're looking for a diagnosis, you should talk to your doctor about all these symptoms you've expressed concern about.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
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