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DOTARD94 Offline
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Name: Sarah
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Exclamation Time Bomb - April 22nd 2011, 08:39 PM

I'm not sure if this fits the forum, but I just need advice. I've always been angry, at myself usually. Always have had a temper. But in the last 6 months or so the anger has increased to point of wanting to hurt someone.Its like theres a shadow inside me, growing with every temper flare. Whispering to me, wiling me to do bad things and I hate it. Feels like something is trying to get out, past my walls and my masks.
for example, I always put away dishes and when I come across the knifes I always want to stab someone. Usually whoevers in the room. I freak out sometimes, scream when im alone to feel alive. I imagine doing horrible things all the time to people. They do nothing but I just get urges to beat them to death or something just as gruesome.
Maybe everyone thinks these things, dreams of killing. What scares me the most is I always feel good after a daydream. And what scares me to death is that the dreams are bursting from me like a unanswered question. You know when you want to ask so bad you can hear yourself asking. The urges get so vivid that I sometimes think their real.
I'm afraid someday Ill acually hurt someone. Does anyone else have to deal with the urges? If yes, please tell me how to control them. I dont want to be bad.
   
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Re: Time Bomb - April 25th 2011, 03:33 AM

Hi Sarah,

As far as the anger goes, I know this issue has come up on these forums before, and whenever I reply to the threads, there's always one article I like to link to that I find pretty informative. If you want to check it out, it's called Controlling Anger Before It Controls You and can be found by clicking the bold text.

I'm usually not just one to reply with the catch-all "seek professional help" answer, but honestly, if you're to the point where you're having homicidal urges, you DO need to be seeking professional help. By not doing so, its putting those around you in a potentially unsafe place, and you don't want them or yourself to be in that position.

People often think that it takes more strength to fight something alone than to reach out for professional help, but I find something very remarkable in you acknowledging that its time to get professional help, Sarah. If you have the opportunity, I highly encourage you to rise to that. It certainly doesn't make you a bad person. On the contrary, I think by getting help, you'd be doing the RIGHT thing...as you'd be putting the safety of those around you at the forefront of your mind. (:

With that, I hope to hear from you soon, Sarah, and I hope that this reply finds you well. I regret that I'm not able to give you with more specific or personalized advice at this time. Take good care of yourself.



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