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Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 10:16 AM

Hey guys,
I've been going through some tough times over the last year or so, and my three year relationship with my girlfriend is on the rocks because of it. I wasn't sure which forum to put this in because it's today with alcohol and my mental health but thought I'd place it here.

It all started about two years ago, when I drink too much and it ends up me blacking out and when I snap out of this 'blackout' I've 8 out of 10 times said something to my girlfriend that is totally out of the ordinary for me and un called for, I get abusive, make up stories that I've are blown way out of proportion and I've embarrassed myself and everyone around me and so out of character for me, sober I'm gentle and wouldn't hurt a fly but when I'm like this, it's the opposite and 70% of the time I don't remember it until it's over and I snap out of it and then I realise what has happened.
This went on more or less every weekend for ages, then my girlfriend had, had enough, we split up for 6 months and then we got back together to give it another go. I was good for about a year.

Then it all started to happen again and has been for the last few months and it's just getting beyond a joke. I know I'm going to get a lot of responses like 'just don't drink then' but I don't want to avoid the problem I want to fix, not drinking is just pushing the problem out. I'm just looking for some advice on what I can do or what might be happening to me.

Cheers in advance!
   
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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 04:56 PM

I know you said you don't want to hear this, but it does seem that the best option is not to drink, or at least not to drink too much, not to the point where you black out.

You could go to the doctors, see if they have any suggestions.


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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 04:57 PM

Actually, the best answer IS to not drink. When you consume alcohol, it changes how you think, basically.

When people drink too much, they'll do many irrational things they wouldn't normally do (or exaggerate behaviours they normally WOULD do), such as having promiscuous sex, getting violent, doing stupid things (jumping off the roof?), it impairs their ability to speak, to drive, etc.

This behaviour you're talking about is OBVIOUSLY from the alcohol, seeing as from what you said, you only experience it when you drink. So, the solution IS to stop drinking, or at least control yourself and limit how much you drink.

If you're looking for an answer that leads to saying "You're mentally ill", and recommending medications or therapy, you won't get that kind of answer. Face it, you're a violent drunk, obviously, which has NOTHING to do with being mentally ill.

So, the only constructive advice you can be given about this is either to stop drinking completely, or limit yourself, and drink responsibly. There is no other way to solve this problem.


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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 10:05 PM

Yeah, well from now on Im not drinking until I think I'm ready to be able to jut have the one or two without going overboard, I just need to push myself.
I just thought it might've been something more deeper than the drink (not that I want that answer) I just thought it had to have been something else, but if it's just the drink then I should be happy since that's controllable.
   
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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 10:16 PM

Yep, it's nothing further than being a violent drunk, really. I mean, as you said, it happens when you drink. If this were NOT influenced by alcohol, and you had random bursts of anger, that would be worrisome.

Just, quit drinking if you don't think you can control yourself, and you should get better. If you continue having problems, THEN it may be something further, but I somehow doubt it.


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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 1st 2011, 11:26 PM

Thanks for that.
I kind of already knew this, I suppose I just wanted some kind of reassurance from someone I didn't know (if you get what I mean).
Thanks again!
   
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Re: In need of a helping hand. - May 2nd 2011, 04:27 PM

Good for you for acknowledging you have a problem
You really need some support and help for this.
I would suggest talking to your doctor and he will provide you with all the help and support you need.
Don't worry, everything WILL be ok
Best of luck
   
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