too much

[Sarahh9]

There's so much going on in my life right now, and I don't really know where to begin this thread. Bear with me if this is a little redundant :P

My mind isn't in the greatest place right now. School has gotten incredibly stressful, and I'm doing the very best I can under the circumstances, but my marks really aren't good enough. I want to get into a premed university program the year after next. Some of you might know about my struggles with EDs. I've gained a lot of weight lately,abd I hate myself. I've been skipping meals and purging whenever I get the chance. I just feel so numb. Nothing gets me to feel. My friends have noticed and they're really uncomfortable with it. I can't talk to them, but I think I have depression. I've started saving up pills.

Yesterday I started crying in the middle of lunch. I never cry, and there I was bawling in the middle of the caf :s I had to go to class right after and my teacher definitely knew I had been crying. He asks me everyday if I'm doing okay. He definitely knows somethings up. So anyways today he came up to me and was like, "are you feeling better today princess?" Then he asked me to stay after class to talk.

For some reason I feel really uncomfortable being alone with a man. My teacher sat me down, and asked what was going on that he should know about. I said nothing, but for some reason I started crying again. He asked if it was about a boyfrien and put his hand on my leg for a second. I just froze, and then said I had to leave. Ithink he was just trying to be nice and I don't know why I freaked out. I don't really feel like going to school tomorrow.

I'm in such a deep hole I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm going crazy.

[Guile]

Hey Sarah, I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I'm sure it must be hard enough with an ED, let alone having to go through depression at the same time. I used to be very depressed, and I know how hard it can be to keep going through the same repetitive motions day after day. Sometimes depression comes from boredom, or a sense of failure.

I don't really know much about EDs, I can't really say anything there, I don't want to say something that could have a bad effect, but all I can say is that if you need any help with something you can message me.

I don't know your teacher personally, but I think he was most likely just being considerate, and wasn't trying to touch your leg in a suggestive way, but that's up for you to decide, you know him better then I. Either way, I think your a very pretty girl, and that from talking to you the little bit I have, you're a strong person that can overcome this.