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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
liam95 Offline
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can't think clearly or speak well - May 27th 2011, 01:58 AM

Hi, I'm new, and this is my first post so sorry if its not in the right forum.

I've lost all my confidence in talking, which has in turn affected my participation grade, social life, and it takes forever to write things for homework like essays and even this question. I feel like I have trouble organizing my thoughts, and thus cannot form them properly. when I speak it comes out all jumbled and i have to constantly go back and reword my statement after saying it the wrong way. its almost like I can't think about things fast enough to say them the right way. I'm in 10th grade, and when we have discussions, debates or write papers I can never think of anything to say, and if i do it always comes out weak, irresolute and poorly worded. sometimes i will think carefully about what I'm about to say and recite it in my head, but it still comes out wierd, and at this point I usually just remain silent. meanwhile other kids are constantly raising their hands and fluently stating their thoughts and arguments. I feel like in middle school I was much better able to formulate my thoughts, and they were stronger.
I've been avoiding social interaction, because this problem makes it so hard and awkward for me to begin and sustain an interesting and enjoyable conversation. I usually get nervous and can never think of anything to say or how to say it, just like in class, except this is casual conversation, and shouldn't require lots of insight or critical thinking. I can't be a witty jokester that everyone loves, even just retelling a funny story, it comes out awkward and by the time i get to the punch line, I'm just trying to clean up the mess I've made. to avoid that kind of pain I've become the quiet one, and because of that I get the feeling people think I'm dumb, and boring. frankly, I'm beginning to think that too, no one really wants to be around me, the quiet awkward guy. I have little self esteem and just feel so confused and kind of all over the place... WHY

thank you for the help

Last edited by liam95; May 27th 2011 at 04:11 AM.
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Anonymous. Offline
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Re: can't think clearly or speak well - May 27th 2011, 06:38 PM

I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you think it's because you're in a new environment with new people and you've gotten shy? Why not try to talk to a few people at school and see if you can't make some friends. Try to see what they like. If you notice they are listening to, let's say (and this is hypothetical), Katy Perry, and she's your favorite singer. You can comment on that and then start up a little conversation. Then maybe you'll find more things to talk about. Making and keeping friends is more like trial and error. And I've just learned that recently myself.

If you feel like there is more to this than just being shy, you can always talk to your parents. And if you guys feel the need to, you can go see an counselor.

Also, you can feel free to PM me anytime.
Hope this helps!
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Alexx Offline
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Re: can't think clearly or speak well - May 27th 2011, 08:56 PM

I actually have a similar problem. I might be way off the mark here, so please don't think of this the wrong way or anything, but.. have you ever considered dyslexia? There are many many other aspects to it of course - but you saying you find it difficult to think straight and organize your thoughts is something I can relate too, and I spoke to someone at my college about it yesterday, and after some further questions and such about how I work and stuff, she thought dyslexia could be a possibility, and I'm having a test for it soon.

I find it really difficult to think straight, and organize my thoughts. I struggle to think of things to say and if I want to say something I often don't know how to phrase it or struggle to find the words, and it always sounds quite stupid when I finally get something out. I feel like my brain isn't working and I can't quite think before saying things, and it's really weird. I have the same problem with writing - essays are horrible, it takes me about three hours to finish a page, because I can't think of the correct words or how to phrase things or how to plan something out or figure out what it is that I want to say.

Dyslexia definitely has other symptoms and there's a huge chance I'm just going off on one because it's been such a large subject in my life recently, so please ignore me if I'm talking rubbish. :P

But, also. This could be down to shyness. I think the fact that you're feeling awkward and nervous about it won't be helping - because that tends to make people more stressed and make it even worse to talk. Well, it does with me any way. I'm so bad in social situations Talking to people is so difficult, but please remember, you aren't the only one with this problem. (:
I think Chloe is right - just making casual talk is a good start, then see how you progress. Making friends isn't the easiest of things to do, but chances are, they will be as nervous as you are about it.

I have no idea how this message has come out.. I'm so sorry for rambling loads! Please ignore me if I'm talking complete nonsense. :P
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