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Question trust issues?? - June 1st 2011, 03:56 AM

** I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right section so . . . If it is in the wrong section could someone move it for me?? Thankies **

Okay, I'm not sure but I think I have some trust issues. I automatically don't trust people & feel the need to gaurd my feelings/emotions from them. I have a . . . I guess 'default' attitude of mellow with everyone & then if I let them in, they get to see the real me (which can be kinda off-putting :/ ). It takes me like forever to finally open up to people. My best friend, I've known her for 3 years & she's one of the ONLY people that I let in. Normally it takes me a lot longer to open up. Is this a trust issue or is it . . . Normal??


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Re: trust issues?? - June 1st 2011, 04:03 AM

Hey Nisa,

I guess whether it's an issue or not depends on your feelings towards it. Do you think it's a problem being this way or are you cool with it? Some people are just naturally cautious with letting people in, either something's happened in the past to make them act like it, or that's just the way they happen to be. It's only an issue if you feel it's actually interfering with your life. May I ask what caused you to ask the question if it's the way you've always been?
   
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Re: trust issues?? - June 1st 2011, 05:32 AM

To an extent, it is normal. I have three friends-one is my boyfriend, one is my twin sister, and the other one I don't tell anyone to. In some cultures, it is normal to have few friends, and tell very few people your deeper secrets. In other cultures, everyone is super friendly. It's not always a bad thing. However, if it is hurting your relationships, you may want to try to open up. But if you are happy with the relationships you have-there is nothing wrong with you, it's just the way you are.
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Re: trust issues?? - June 1st 2011, 06:18 AM

Hey-

I agree with the others, that it depends on the person. Some people are okay with that. I feel it's unhealthy to not open up to anyone, but you shouldn't have to act like someone else either if that's what you're doing.

Have you talked to your friend about this and how you feel? If you open up to her, perhaps she could offer advice. Even hearing that you're a good person with your guard down can be helpful in trying to put your guard down around people. Our natural defense system is to shut down and not let people in, but it can't always be healthy.

Good luck!
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Re: trust issues?? - June 3rd 2011, 11:33 PM

Hey.

I guess this would only be an issue if you feel it is, It's not uncommon to have a hard time trusting people and opening up to people. In some ways it may be a good thing, but if it is bothering you, you could try talking to your friend about as soon as you trust her? Like I said it's not unnatural to have a hard time opening up to people especially if they've hurt you in the past.

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