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BethanyAnn Offline
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Name: Bethany
Age: 26
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Join Date: June 1st 2011

Not Even gonna PRETEND anymore<rant> - June 9th 2011, 09:44 PM

Sick of acting happy go lucky and everyone thinking I am okay when mentally I am drained and lost.... I am always helping my friends and other people because I am the "strong" one... No I am not I cover my feelings well, I am not strong I can't even hold it together anymore. I lost my best friend two yrs in an accident, My father just leaves me, my boyfriend is acting strange and I haven't been able to focus on ME for the longest time... I am always worried or thinking, mainly about this damn boyfriend of mine who is just I don't know.... I am always the one everyone comes to when they have problems... but when I go to even attempt to lean on a friend I am being "selfish" really??? No, my friends are selfish self centered all they are worried about is themselves, I am sick of being this way I want to be happy again I want my life back, I am always depressed and yet I wake up with a smile on my face, I am begging to just blow up on my mother and I have the biggest tolerance level and patients out of this world, but I know I am loosing it and I think my mother suspects it. I love my friends I want to be there but I carry their problems on my shoulders and I always put myself on the back burner. When can I just make time for me? I can't even sleep at night anymore.... and physically my body is just going down the drain.... The only alone time I get is sleep and that isn't even much.... I am just waiting on this melt down but I don't wanna do that and once again this DAMN boyfriend(see post on him) So sick of this I think I need a therapist godd I can go on for days... I really just want someone to lean on for once when I need it

"Have no fear for giving in, Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end, Its better to say too much, Than never to say what you need to say again" - John Mayer

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
bailatyvm Offline
bada bing bada boom.
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Name: Faith
Age: 24
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Location: over the rainbowwww

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Re: Not Even gonna PRETEND anymore<rant> - June 9th 2011, 10:38 PM

You can always pm me<3 its okay; you're totally normal...sometimes you just need a big break&some more balance in your life..but you'll make it<3

searching for myself...
and hugs. mostly hugs.
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anymore<rant>, gonna, pretend

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