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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dogman Offline
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Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - June 20th 2011, 09:23 PM

Hey Guys,

I've realized lately that I'm very quick to anger around those I love for no apparent reason. With anyone else I'm really laid back and kind. I drove my girlfriend away simply because she wanted to spend time with me. It wasn't just her though, I always get upset at my mom and even my favorite buddy Joey (my dog) when they do the smallest things that I perceive as wrong. My dad was apparently like this...I don't want to become someone who is abusive.

Any advice on what the cause could be? I read somewhere that I could be directing my anger towards those I feel are "safe." Even so, I'm still quick to get angry. I'm just glad that I caught this before I ruined another relationship!
   
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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - June 22nd 2011, 02:12 AM

I can not in anyway give you a diagnoses but I can give you a very in depth explanation to what I think is going on.

In psychological terms I would call this Transference.
Things happen day to day that build up or thing tend to make us upset and angry and instead of letting out your anger on the acceptable person or thing you would let it out on the people closest to you.

Now lets take you mom for example: You are more likely to become angry and "abusive" with her because loves you unconditional and will always be there for you. You take this for granted and will yell and scream and she will take it because she loves you. She might yell back or try and defend herself but ultimately she will away be there for you vs. one of your friends who might just call you out on your bullshit and leave.

Also because you are around these people more often then others you are more likely to be around one of them while angry.

Because your dad was abusive does not necessarily mean you will be like him, however it's more likely. So some steps you should take to prevent any more angry out burst are to try and recognize : Why are you angry? Is your anger being directed at the right person? And Is this anger irrational?

Maybe taking an anger management class could also help if you think it is serious.


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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - June 29th 2011, 11:12 PM

I started seeing a therapist and I mentioned my circumstance. He told me the same things you did! Your very knowledgeable, thanks
   
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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - July 1st 2011, 07:47 PM

WOW! I've been looking for someone like this all my LIFE! I can never EVER get angry at the people that hurt me but I always feel deep hatred for the ones I love. Whhhhhy???
   
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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - July 3rd 2011, 12:20 PM

Hey AngelOfTheFallen, please don't post if you have nothing to add to the thread. If you are struggling with the same problems as the OP, I would suggest creating your own thread about it so people can give you advice.

To the OP: I pretty much just agree with Katie.
I'm glad you've started seeing a therapist and that you're getting help for yourself. Good luck.


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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - July 3rd 2011, 02:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionLover View Post
Hey AngelOfTheFallen, please don't post if you have nothing to add to the thread. If you are struggling with the same problems as the OP, I would suggest creating your own thread about it so people can give you advice.

To the OP: I pretty much just agree with Katie.
I'm glad you've started seeing a therapist and that you're getting help for yourself. Good luck.
Oh...sorry...
   
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Re: Quick to get angry, but only at those I love - July 3rd 2011, 03:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelOfTheFallen View Post
Oh...sorry...
It's fine, it's just you'll get support that way. x


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
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