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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
samantha:)x Offline
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Name: samantha
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Angry why am i so angry!!!? - June 24th 2011, 02:46 PM

........................


It serves a lot of functions in my life. I use it as a way to punish myself, I use it as a way to medicate myself, I use it for the tension release when things get too strong or too built up. –ditto

Faking a smile like always

- Pm me if you need help or a friend xx

Last edited by samantha:)x; June 24th 2011 at 11:23 PM.
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Re: why am i so angry!!!? - June 24th 2011, 09:24 PM

You admit to bullying Mason in the past, however, pulling his chair away so he is humiliated in front of the class and ran after him with paint. In that view, it seems as though you continued to bully Mason and have not stopped. You also admit to misbehaving throughout the citizenship class in some way. Point is, I find it very difficult to sympathize with you, as although may have not brought all the trouble upon yourself (need further information to confirm this), you definitely brought some of it upon yourself. However, it is not your fault the citizenship class sounds chaotic, it is your fault you chose to react in such ways.

I think part of the issue is an unstable or weak self-image of yourself because let comments about your appearance deeply affect you, such as getting so angry over being called "fucking fat" or "fat". Furthermore, you felt deeply embarassed you mother was not aware of what happened that day. I cant say your mother would be wrong in punishing you, I'm sure you agree with me on that. If you detest such a punishment, you should have thought of that before you intentionally pulled Mason's chair away, as that was a deliberate calculated act and not an emotion-fueled reaction (i.e. telling people to shut up and fuck off).

Part of the anger stems from the citizenship class itself. If others are expressing their anger in that class, it is understandable you would feel the "rush" and immediately join in with the hounding. If I were you, I would go to the principal and calmly, rationally say to him/her you think that class is a dysfunctional learning environment because people spend more time being angry than learning the curriculum. I would also ask him/her to put their foot down and give a harsh talk in the class or increase the punishment for such lewd behaviour.

If someone says rude comments to you, such as calling you fat, they likely will keep calling you them when you show angry reactions. Instead, tell them you agree with the comments, as such a response is unpredicted and throws people off. You need not truly believe the comments, just have to say you agree with them. If you feel you are very angry, don't bottle it up, let it all out but do so on an object. For example, when I'm pissed off, I calm myself at the scene then later, I recall what happened, get angry and release the anger on a punching bag. From this, I don't feel very angry when someone riles me up and if they do, I turn the tables on them in various ways, one of which I already mentioned.

I think you should not be angry about the punishment, we both know you deserve it, so use it as a time to reflect on yourself and try to implement some changes. One way I found extremely successful is martial arts because you learn discipline, respect, philosophy and calmness, as these are echoed in many martial arts. Otherwise, you get "punishments" (i.e. 40 push-ups) or during sparring, you may get a few hard hits to wake you up.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
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