Boyfriend has an anger problem

[Tess*]

My boyfriend is really great except when he gets angry. Just the other day, he got mad at me for something. It was something small that could have been resolved in minutes, but he wouldn't listen to me. I wanted to talk about it later because we were about to go meet up with some people, but the main reason was because he wasn't listening to me.
When he gets mad he just does not listen. Every time, I tell him I'll talk to him about it when he calms down. Some times he just doesn't say anything to that, but the other day, it was just making him more angry and he was interrupting me. I was talking calmly and politely and he was constantly interrupting me.
This has happened more than once, but when he relaxes and we talk about it, the talk goes well.
I'm going to talk to him today about his episode the other day, but I don't know what to say anymore. Obviously what I've said in the past hasn't worked.

[savealife723]

Hey Tess,
I know almost exactly how you feel. My best friend has the same problem. He's the greatest guy in the entire world, but he gets angry over the smallest things sometimes and then he just shuts down into this really rude person. He'll never listen to anything that I say, and everytime I try to help him out, he'll just interupt me and ignore everything I say. He even goes as far as turning everything around to make it look like it was my fault. Of course, he's not always like this. He's the greatest best friend I could imagine having so he's really a sincere person a lot of the time. When he calms down, he, as well, talks about it in a good and healthy manner. So I definitely understand the position that you're in.

I think you should talk to your boyfriend about the way you felt when he got really mad a few days ago. Tell him that you didn't think it was fair, and that the only thing you wanted from him was to just listen to you. Maybe ask him what you could do to help him in the next situation where he gets mad. I'm sure he could give you ideas on what you could do to calm him down and make him feel better, faster.

I wish you the best of luck with the talk with your boyfriend today.
Take care of yourself.

Kaylaaa. <3

[Dark Horse]

My dad actually has a similar problem, as soon as he feels as if people are critisizing him or whatever, he just goes crazy and doesn't want to hear what anyone else has to say. (And I'm ashamed to say that I have a similar problem!) My mom says sometimes it's because he feels guilty (like if we were in a fight). That's how some people are, I guess. They get angry when they're guilty. I'm not sure about your boyfriend's circumstances though; maybe he feels guilty, or does he smoke or drink, or maybe he just has a plain old anger problem? Anyway, the way I suggest you tryyy to deal with it, is talk to him about his actual problem. Use the "I feel as if you....." method? People who have problems with dealing with their anger can't stop them unless they can admit it to themselves that they need to get their act together. If your boyfriend can't admit it, and see a profensional (always helps) then he may be stuck with anger issues for the rest of his life. But for now, good luck with talking to him, I hope it all goes well