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nicole1234 Offline
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family problems- how to deal? - July 6th 2011, 02:18 PM

hey everyone,
so some background info for you all to help understand the situation:
- my mom has severe depression
- she is most probably bipolar since she has rapid and extreme mood swings whenever and wherever
- she refuses to get/seek for help since she thinks that her children are always wrong and b words
- she has diabetes, so she is even more depressed
- she is suicidal at times

okay so this is what happened...

a few days ago,
my mom went extremely crazy and decided to kick my sister and i out of her house (we are at her house for the summer break)
while we were at the house with her, she started drinking heavily and became heavily intoxicated. right after, she started swearing at us and proceeded to physically abuse my sister and i.
fortunately, we called our relatives for help since we two alone could not fend off our mother.
at the moment, she was definitely extremely depressed and suicidal.
however, the next day, she pretended like nothing happened and did not even say sorry to us.

we are both living with her but we are really uneasy.

it is so hard to solve this issue since she refuses to seek for any help.

i really need a psychologist for help but i can't since my mom will know and will get even more angry...

any help?

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Re: family problems- how to deal? - July 6th 2011, 07:08 PM

Well, first of all, if your mom has Depression (like, diagnosed with it), then she doesn't have Bipolar Disorder, unless these symptoms have started not long ago, and have nothing to do with drinking, drugs, or any of her Diabetes medications. Plus, Bipolar Disorder is far more complicated than most people seem to think.

If you're worried about your mom's hehaviour, have you considered talking to a relative about getting her help? If your relatives are willing to help you and your sister out of this, they would probably be willing to help your mother, if you're sure there is something wrong with her.

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Re: family problems- how to deal? - July 6th 2011, 07:12 PM

First, are you or your sister underage? If so, you can call the police and Child Protective Services (it may be under a different name, depending on where you live). A social worker can visit your home and assess the situation. If they determine your mother is mentally unstable and/or abusive, you and your sister can be removed from the home and placed in someone else's care. To make your case stronger, take pictures of any bruises/scratches on your bodies (to prove she is physically abusive) and of damage she may have caused around the house (ex. holes in walls, broken objects).

Second, are your relatives aware of the situation? I truly believe this is a resource you and your sister should utilize, whether it's finding a temporary/permanent housing alternative to living with your mother, or asking them to contact a family law attorney and discuss the possibility of forcing your mother to seek treatment. Unfortunately, the latter option is very difficult to do. If your mother was planning to hurt herself, then you could have her hospitalized for a short amount of time, and you could request that a psychiatrist assess her for mental illnesses. If she's not showing any obvious signs of mental illness, however, then it will be difficult to force her to get help. My father's ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder, and we couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. She has gone on and off medication over the years because there is simply no way to force her to take it, unless we institutionalize her (which we can't do, as she is still relatively functional).

I wish you and your sister all the best. I am truly sorry to hear about your situation at home, and hope things improve soon!

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