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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 11th 2011, 07:29 PM

I keep having these fits, I'll call them and they are very extreame. Something will happen, it must be an event that really, REALLY hurts me. Very very deeply and I'll be very upset, distressed and I don't know if I'm sent into a panic frenzy over it or what. Normally it has to deal with my bf and me getting paranoid ideas, that keep pressing till I'm consumed by them. It can be over other things too, but they are always a big event, or at least in my mind.

I start feeling all the blood rushing to my head and I'll start shaking very badly. I'll also get really hot and sweaty like I've been working out in the heat all day. I'll start crying and my chest will hurt. I'll feel this emotional agony that I can't stop and it it's almost blinding. From that point, and yes I do have control, but I start acting nonhuman almost because of the extent I throw this fit. Imagine a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. That's how it starts and it gets worse from there. I will put myself on the floor (so I don't fall out of a chair or bed or whatever, like I said I have an extent of control but desperation takes over), and just start screaming having a fit just like a two year old, throwing things, and then i'll start biting myself and inflicting as much damage to myself as possible and I'm getting MUCH worse about it. Today I was constantly thrashing and purposely smashing my head against everything in hopes of hurting myself. I was in a complete frenzy. I felt like I wasn't even breathing and I'm not sure if I was or not. Everything looked blurry and my body ached too. I ended up smashing my head against something and now the right side of my face is slightly swollen and I have two knots and three cuts that are bleeding.

When it's over I realize how redicious I was being, but at the time, I'm in so much distress I'll kill myself if I can. Every time I go into those fits I'll do as much damage to myself as I possibly can. These fits are very painful, but not in a physical type of way. I'm not sure how to explain it. I'm wonder if this is a panic attack, or just me responding to more emotional pain then I know how to handle? This can go on for 4 hours, so I'm wondering... if it keeps getting worse and lasting longer, how long till I actually kill myself?

Does anyone else experience these type of fits or tantrums? It is similiar to a tanrum only make it more dramatic and include a lot of self harm. If you have been through this, how can you stop it? I'm thinking of bringing this up to my therapist and my psychiatrist, but idk how to really explain it. I have no idea what it is, so any advice? Also, how on earth will I be able to hide what I did to my face? Thanks!


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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 11th 2011, 07:33 PM

I've felt like that before
Most of the time i sob and scream, and i used to cut myself but i'm trying to stop that.
I think you should definately tell your therapist and my psychiatrist.


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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 11th 2011, 07:38 PM

It's not just sobbing and screaming. I can do that without having these fits. It's the throwing myself around and bashing into everything, throwing things, holding my breath and by the end of it all I'm almost too dizzy to get up. Not sure if it's from hitting my head, holding my breath(I'm assuming that's why I have trouble breathing during these times), from all the screaming, or what. It's like I go into a complete frenzy. I would cut, but that takes too much thought. I act like a fish out of water who is trying to kill itself.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 11th 2011, 08:12 PM

Although not the same, I have done similar. When my boyfriend and I have had bad arguments (which we do in the car), I've tried to throw myself out of the moving vehicle, kicked the windows, punched the dash, bashed my head against the window, found sharp objects and injured myself, and whatever else.

This has never gone on for HOURS, but it'll go until I'm physically restrained and MADE to sit there, calm down, and even coaxed into smoking up until I've been pretty much sedated.

Honestly, I think more than anything, it's the extremely angry/violent tendencies that you and myself have that triggers this reaction. However, maybe yours go so long because you've had people enabling you to throw a fit for that long? Though I'd personally get worn out after awhile, I'd be able to go longer with it if I weren't forced to stop.

I don't know what to call this, specifically, but maybe just describe it more than anything, and see if the psychiatrist (or therapist, whoever) can figure it out.


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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 11th 2011, 11:20 PM

Ok. I think maybe it's a mix of things. My mom calls them my temper tantrums because they are so similar to one.

I'm usually not restrained, so I keep going until I'm dizzy and exhausted. I usually fall to sleep afterwards. I have been restrained before, but I kept fighting and I started attacking the person that tried to restrain me. I was just being defensive though. I only fought back because I was being restrained. I can't be coaxed into anything because I have this panic like state of mind where, and all I think about is making it all stop. So I keep going until I exhuast myself which usually takes a couple hours.

I'll try to explain it best I can. I've been doing this for several years. It's nothing new, but it has gotten worse with time. It's like if I don't hurt myself though my head will explode.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 12th 2011, 03:53 PM

Well maybe it's just you having extreme temper tantrums then, since it's been going on for several years? I don't know. I do know that talking to a professional about it could help get to the root, solve, etc. ya know?


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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 12th 2011, 08:48 PM

You should definately tell your therapist and psychiatrist. It'll help.


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Re: Panic Attacks or Dramatic Response to Pain? - July 12th 2011, 09:15 PM

Panic attacks are usually different - with panic attacks I find it building up inside. And then suddenly everything seems to stop. My hands are tingling. I'm grasping for air and am hyperventilating and feel dizzy and can feel faint. I would say what you are having are not panic attacks but something else. Usually with panic attacks you hyperventilate. Maybe tell your counsellor ect about this they should be able to suggest ways to help you.



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