Is this just normal teenage behavior? Or is it something more?

[Coal]

Hey, everyone. I'm a 15 year old girl and even though I know all teenagers have mood swings, etc. my recent emotions and behavior have gotten me a bit worried. First off, it seems like my life has been divided into phases. (This will be a long story, so brace yourselves =)

Phase 1: I'm usually pretty shy and quiet but during this period, I'm extremely talkative, even annoyingly so. I'll talk about anything just for the sake of it. I also laugh uncontrollably, have so many ideas and so much inspiration, I'm constantly writing a story in my head or taking mental "photographs". I seem to notice things I never would otherwise (like how sunlight falls onto the ground and makes everything so colorful and vivid). I feel intense, in control of my life, I want to go out and meet new people, but I can't say that I'm truly happy, because I'm also anxious and irritable, lash out at random people and get seriously angry if something doesn't go my way. I also enjoy risky situations, like almost being hit by a car (I almost got hit just few weeks ago and it made me feel great, like nothing could hurt me and I wanted to do it again. I was with friends then and I knew they would try to stop me, so luckily, I didn't try it again that day) and get random urges to hurt myself, like when I'm holding a knife to slice tomatoes, I'll have a sudden urge to stab myself or slit my wrists with it. This "happy" mood usually lasts from a few days to a few weeks.

Phase 2: This is when I'm sad, feel guilty for everything, ugly and just so tired and plan suicide in my head (I have almost a drawer full of suicide notes I've written during this phase). I self harm by cutting and burning, tell my friends I can't see them that day because I have to do something important, while I'll actually spend the day in bed, hoping that maybe if I fall asleep, I'll wake up and everything will be fine again. This lasts from a few days to a few months.

Phase 3: This is when I either feel normal, completely numb or kind of happy and very frustrated and irritable at the same time.

So, what do you think? Is this normal and every 15 year old goes through something similar or should I be worried?

[x-amethyst-x]

At 15, your hormones are all over the place and mood swings are normal. If you're worried, you should go to the doctors. To be honest, if it was me, I'd definately go to the doctors just for peace of mind.

[Thirteen]

Self-Harming is not a good thing. Your moods sound like they could easily be just typical teenage behaviour.

Teenagers, well, they're all over the map. Happy, Sad, sometimes they cry over NOTHING, they partake in risky behaviour (Hell, any teen who DIDN'T take risks would be weird!!), they do all sorts of things.

Personally, I think you should see a therapist, mainly because of the self-harm problem. If you start seeing a therapist sooner (rather than later), you'd also have a professional talking to you fairly regularly, and they'd notice anything that would be alarming, thus being able to help you if they feel you do have a mental illness.

[Dark Horse]

I go through the EXACT same things!!! I also self harm and have these "phases". But yeah, I agree with what the others have said. Seeing a therapist helped me last year.

[PSY]

Bipolar I disorder is marked by alternating phases of mania and depression. I am not a psychological professional, so I can't offer you a diagnosis; however, it is clear that what you are experiencing isn't "normal". I strongly encourage you to talk to your parents or doctor and get a referral to a psychological professional who specializes in mood disorders. Best-case scenario, having someone to talk to will help you work through all these conflicting emotions. Worst-case scenario, medication and therapy will be needed in order to treat a chemical imbalance in your brain. Things like mild depression can be worked through with the right course of treatment, but bipolar disorder is something that will need to be monitored for the rest of your life.

[Coal]

Yes, I know I should get help for the self-harming. It's just kind of hard to give it up because it has been my outlet for so long. I'll cut when I'm sad to forget about the pain, I'll cut when I'm numb to feel something and if I'm "happy", I'll cut just because I can. Kind of twisted, isn't it?

I've actually suspected bipolar myself (especially since there's history of bipolar in my family) But then I thought that I'm probably just overreacting. Well, I should probably see a professional. Is it possible for minors to make an appointment for a psychologist without their parents? I wouldn't want my parents to know before I'm sure of anything myself.

[PSY]

Bipolar disorder DOES have a genetic component... so definitely see a psychological professional, as the odds have just increased significantly.

I'm not sure if it would be possible to see a psychologist or psychiatrist without your parents knowing about it (since you would need to get a referral from your family doctor/general practitioner), but I do believe you could see a therapist without your parents knowing. You'd have to go through a community clinic, but the nice thing is that you would be able to see someone for free or at a very low cost ("sliding scale" fees - you pay what you can afford, when you can afford it) and your parents wouldn't be notified through insurance notices/billing. The therapist could offer some support, but if you needed a diagnosis/medication, you'd have to see a psychologist/psychiatrist... which, again, means your parents would probably have to be informed.

In all honesty, though, I think it's important to keep your parents in the loop. Even if it turns out you don't have anything, it's good to know that your parents are available for you emotionally and will support you in getting temporary help for the self-harm, suicidal ideation, etc.

[Coal]

Alright, thanks.

[heathermc]

i think it sounds like the way that most teenagers behave but then again everyone's different! if it's bothering you that you're acting this way, maybe you should play it safe by going to a doctor and asking a few questions/tell them whats going on just to be sure that nothings wrong. don't get too worked up about it though because it might just be hormones!