Is it only me?

Ashleyhateslife · 09:57 PM

I'm not sure if this would go under mental/general health.

I have been feeling really guilty for things I'm not sure I should be feeling guilty about.

For example, my great great aunt died in January and I am getting really upset thinking that she died because I am alive.

Example 2, my step sister is starting to hate our side of the family. My mom isn't the best step mom towards her. I am really the only one who gives her positive attention, but I have been having my migraines a lot more and I can't give her the attention she usually gets from me. I feel like she is going to hate me too, she used to call me mom, now she barely says hi to me. She is 7, I feel like I am causing her to become depressed.

Example 3, I am going to be going to college next year. My siblings depend on me to help them with homework. I am going to be two hours away. I already feel guilty about leaving them, because I can tell they are going to struggle with out the help that they need. Feel I should not go to college to make sure they graduate but then what if I dont become a doctor and I can't help someone I was meant to help?

There are many more things. My mom says I act to much like a mother to all kids around me. Including cousins, siblings, kids I babysit, a class I help out with (4th grade). I can't help it. Does anyone else feel REALLy guilty or blame their selves for things they shouldn't really be stressing out about? I'm only sixteen, is this to young to feel this way? Is it some sort of psychological problem I can get help for? Any answers would be great! Thanks!

Any answers? At all? please? is this normal? I'm gonna lose my mind if I don't get any in site.

Live-love-laugh101 · 07:01 AM

You shouldn't feel guilty you are doing a good job with everything just constantly let your sister no that ur here for her when she needs it I don't think you need help you are a great role model and anyone would be lucky to have u there as for your dream of being a doctor do it call them everyday and see how they are doing or video chat with them you have done a lot for them they should let u at least pursue ur dream ask them what they think about it and go from there. Don't feel guilty ur doing great and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.;D

Ashleyhateslife · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 12th 2011, 07:41 AM

I don't know how you could say all those nice things about me, I feel like a horrible sister. I am so afraid to leave them, even when I go on vacation with out them I feel like complete crap for leaving them behind. I am also worried that something will happened to them while I am gone, and I won't be there to help them. I feel awful, and I wish I could bring them to college with me. I can't help but feel like I am going to ruin their lives before they even get a chance to live it. I love them so much, and I worry for them. They are the only reason why I haven't committed suicide yet. It's so hard. I'm trying my best to be worry and guilt free but I can't help but blame myself for everyone's past, current and future problems. Thanks for being kind to me, it's nice to feel liked.

Live-love-laugh101 · 05:58 PM

You are amazing and an amazing sister you just never figured it out yet, you have done soo much without you by their side they wouldn't of achieved what they have, ur there hero, when you leave off to college why don't you put them or let someone check on them that you trust. You are overwhelemed and stressed and it's not fair for a girl your age to feel that way, maybe you should talk to someone about your feelings I'm sure it will help. ( maybe counseling).You should never think about commiting suicide you still have a long life ahead of you waiting for you to start discovering let me tell you suicide is not the answer it never is. Yoou should take a break u deserve it, just have faith.

Ashleyhateslife · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 13th 2011, 03:26 AM

I can't take a break, I worry to much. If something ever were to happened to them I would feel like car forever. I am at the point where idc if I'm happy or not, I just want everyone else around me to be happy, but its impossible. I was recommend by my neurologist to see a psychologist for depression, and biofeedback therapy. So it should start soon. I am also going to start antidepressants that also helps with headaches and anxiety. Maybe that will help ease my nerves. I just don't want my siblings to get hurt....

WillO'Wisp · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 13th 2011, 04:20 AM

I think you just need to stop worrying and go to College. Graduate and do what you want to do with your life. If you stay at home and constantly try to be a mother to these kids, you'll miss out on College and alot of great opportunities. You are not a mother so you don't have those responsibilities yet. I'm sure they'll be fine while you're gone. You're still young and you deserve to live a fufilling life. You owe it to yourself to do something good for yourself, so please don't give up on College and just go.

Ashleyhateslife · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 13th 2011, 04:33 AM

I'm buying a new laptop and a webcam so I can keep up with them, and help them with their homework. Although I am not going to take a break now, I think my break with come when I am in college. I love them, I am pretty sure they know it. I am going into my senior year of high school, I am not a mom, I know. I have been told that I have maternal instincts... Which I am not sure if that is a good thing or not. Thanks!

WillO'Wisp · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 14th 2011, 02:00 AM

A laptop with a webcam is a good idea!

Live-love-laugh101 · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 14th 2011, 08:34 AM

That's good I'm sure it will help. Wow ur a loving sister and I'm sure they no how much u are fir them I wih u all the best and I hope you find happiness in ur life and succeed in what u wanna be in life also that life gets easier for you along the way cuz u deserve it. ;D

Kakorrhaphiophobia · **Re: Is it only me? -** August 14th 2011, 11:31 AM

I'm this way too, I stress out about many things that are out of my control and blame myself for things.
I know it's a hard decision to make, but I think that you going off to college and moving on with your life once you graduate high school will be great. Also the web cam idea is really good, that way you can see each other and if they have homework, they can show it to you over the web cam and you can help them.
I don't think you're to much of a mother, I think it's a good thing as long as you can control the amount of time you put in to taking care of others and the amount of time for yourself.
You need time for yourself and you need to let yourself know that things will get better someday and that you're not to blame for what happens to them or what has happened to them.