What's wrong with me...Feeling out of control.

[Sounobvious]

So...it's 2:30am. And I'm down in my living room while my boyfriend is sleeping soundly upstairs. We just got into an argument maybe an hour ago over something really stupid...I've had these cold sores on my mouth and they've turned into scabs that keep bleeding and wont heal and he's been telling me I haven't been taking care of them and that's why they aren't healing. And it really made me angry because I hate them and feel I'm doing everything I can to get rid of these stupid things.. I feel ugly and I feel like he's grossed out by them. He felt the need to look up what I'm doing wrong on the internet and told me to read it...but I've tried it and they just kept getting worse.

Anyways...that's just a small part of things... My real issue is whenever we fight about anything...it can be small, big whatever..I just feel instantly stressed, overwhelmed and extremely angry. I freak out and feel so agitated that I literally want to die. He just pushes my buttons and is very stubborn (and so am I) that it always just ends up getting to the point where I lose control and I get mad and then I start crying..Then he says I'm being childish and immature and this makes me even more upset. I know I shouldn't get so upset but I feel like it's completely beyond my control...and when I'm at that stage, he always makes it worse.

I'm not sure why I'm like this..but I hate it. I just can't fight with him without feeling an extreme amount of stress and I know that isn't right.

Is there something wrong with me, because I don't think this is normal...??

[PSY]

Hello, Jenna!

First of all, have you seen a doctor regarding the sores/scabs? Looking information up on the internet is a good start, but if simple remedies aren't cutting it, you really need to see someone and get the problem treated. Maybe you need antibiotics, or something else that can only be obtained after seeing a medical professional.

Secondly, I hate to break it to you, but getting upset after an argument/fight is pretty common. There are a few things you can examine, however, in order to determine whether or not your reactions/feelings are justified. For starters, is your boyfriend antagonistic? ANYONE would become mad/sad if their partner was acting disrespectful, belittling, etc. You may want to ask yourself if this is really all on you, or if your boyfriend is playing a major role in working you up during arguments. You two may want to seek counseling as individuals, as a couple, or possibly consider ending the relationship altogether, should you two be incompatible personality-wise. Next, are these things worth getting upset about? Even the "small" things can create stress in our lives, so ask yourself whether or not your responses make sense. Would these things stress a normal person out? Finally, try to be more mindful/aware of what you're thinking when you begin to get upset. Are you catastrophizing (immediately thinking of the worst-case scenario, believing the situation is hopeless)? Some people have an easier time re-adjusting their ways of thinking about situations, while others need to learn coping strategies in order to eliminate negative thoughts before, during, and after arguments/stressful events.