Hallucinations?

[Palmolive]

I can't believe I am posting this. I've never spoken to anyone about it until today, not really. I guess it's hard for me to talk about.

I got in a state this morning and ended up telling my mum I have bad thoughts but I hear voices too. At least that's what I think it is. Sometimes it's hard to tell because they all get muddled up in my head. And she asked what they said but I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I told her sometimes I can just hear him, the one voice, but sometimes it's like repetitive and its his voice but going over himself until I can hear him times a hundred over and over.

I admitted I see someone too. I think it's the same man, but he's just a figure. He's dark and it scares me and I don't know what it is and it's really bothering me. It happens mostly at night times but it happens during the day as well. I can feel him breathe over me, I can feel his breathe on my neck when he is on top of me when I am laid in bed. I can't sleep in the dark. I get so scared. I can feel his hands on me and I can't bare it. I can't bare it. I'm suicidal and struggling with self harm and sometimes he tells me the best thing for me to do is to end it.

My mum took me to see my primary mental health worker, she's getting me to see my psychiatrist tomorrow but I don't want to go because I'm scared of what is happening to me. My PMHW said that it might be by subconscious but that I might be hallucinating. I am so scared.

Has anyone ever been through anything like this before? I could really use some support.

[Thirteen]

How frequent does this happen to you?

A mental health professional would be able to make more sense of this, but perhaps they'll re-examine your diagnosis now because of this. On the bright side, this could definitely help with your treatment, and help you get better.

[Magical Forest.]

I've had similar. I used to hear 3 voices, two men and a little girl. It felt like they were constantly shouting at me to do bad things and it was almost impossible to go against them. I get the feeling of the man, but thats more through trauma than hallucinations. It could just be your mind going into overdrive with all of the thoughts and stress you're under. It's like your brain can't process everything thats going on so it creates this terror instead.
I'm on an extremely high dose of antipsychotics to try to block out the voices, which I hate. Medication may be an answer, but that'll be up to a doctor.
Here to talk if you need xx