Triggering: My Full Life Story

[Ebunny96]

I always show my wonderful smile and act like I have my crap togethor. On the outside it looks like I'm happy, wierd, and have the whole future ahead of me. Really, on the inside I am a sad person. So here is my story:
Age 2: Had meningitis made me deaf in my right ear
Age 3-5: Couldn't talk I always used sign language
Age 6: Moved to New Jersey, started 1st grade, put in special ED class
Age 7: Repeated 1st grade
Age 8: Meet a bad popular girl at school and meet my only best friend in NJ
Age 10: Bullied
Age 11: Bullied, Grandpa dies of cancer after a battle of 2 years, thoughts of suicide
Age 12: Bullied, thoughts of suicide, mom quits job
Age 13: Move to Maryland, make friends
Age 14: Rumors spread about me liking these boys couldn't cope, Read books alot, isolated from everyone
Age 15: Eating disorder, pill promblem with advil, 2 family members die, really depressed, isolated from everyone, didn't talk, started hurting myself, in therapy, started antidepressant, discover I am bi only told my friends, became gulth
Thats basically my life.

[Missmaggie55]

Hey!

It sounds like you've been through quite a lot in your fifteen years and I can hear the pain through your words. It has not been an easy ride, but I want to hear about YOU. What do you enjoy doing? Who do you admire? Are you inspired by anyone in particular? What subjects do you kickass at? Are you struggling in a certain subject? You said you read, what kind of books are you into? I love to read as well. Different books have different effects on me. Some inspire me. Some make me cry. Some are just a way for me to escape into another world. I'm so grateful that I can see and know how to read. What are you thankful for? What makes you laugh?

I'd love to hear about who you are whenever you get the chance. I'm also here to vent to or chat with if you want.

[Ebunny96]

I can't think of anything thats good in my life. I just am not at saying what I "like".

[BDF]

Originally Posted by Ebunny96

I can't think of anything thats good in my life. I just am not at saying what I "like".

The way I look at mine, is that I still have a choice as to what I do with my future. So do you. That's the good thing, that's all you should be trying to focus on. Yea it's difficult, and I get my episodes where I feel like I might as well go to hell, but they usually pass with time. It does get better. What you want to avoid is getting caught in a spiral, and the best thing you can do to avoid that is to do something productive with yourself.

[Missmaggie55]

I used to smile too, but I was no where near fine. I was depressed, angry and bitter about everything that had happened to me. It took me a long time to realize that I was actually in control of my life....that it was actually ME who decided whether I was happy or bitter. I know you are going through a rough time and when we're in that time we can't see the things we are grateful for.

I would love to learn more about you and who you are but I understand that it's difficult for you to think abou these things right now. The one thing that may give you some peace during this time is that life is a string of temporary moments..none last forever. This moment in your life will not last. That, I promise you. There will come a day when you are no longer in this painful place and you will be able to share what you learned with someone else in need, as I am trying to do for you.

I'm always here to chat.

[Ebunny96]

I am to young to have hit a low point in my life.