so is there something wrong with me?

[girlfromsocal]

Well emotionally I don't feel guilt usually ever. My mom's always made me self-conscious of that. I don't though feel much for others. I am pretty much like emotions apply to me. And I act on them when it affects me. I started out as a child where I felt nothing at least. Then I felt pain anger stuff like that. Really where my emotions revolve. But I can go back to my basics how I was as a child. I felt empty and when I was bored I felt really mischievous because I was empty. I'm naturally running on empty. I remember my therapist said I was psychotic. I was 15 and dealt with social anxiety only I don't want to be away from others I'm just scared that they'll tear me down before I can even have a chance if I had one. When I spoke to her I shook with anxiety fear because she was no one I knew and because se was making everything mom claimed true. Next day. I proved that bitch wrong. I told the psychiatrists everything I 'said' to my mom I knew was a lie. And I wasn't like that girl she first saw. I was calm and completely blank which is how I am naturally. I went back to basics. When I'm content I'm at my basics. I wasn't prescribed anything and never diagnosed. So doesn't mean I'm normal even thoug people feel things. I never do and if I do it's when things get extreme. It's like I feel my emotions only have to do with residual feelings from past issues. But my actual self is quit emotionless. Is that healthy? Is it normal to have a minimum of feelings. Like I never really really feel anything for anyone else not like pity or sadness or remorse. More it's glad I'm not you or sucks to be you. But not my concern or care. Idc is it normal to not care about others?

[minniemouseprincess]

I don't really get what you are saying..Although just answering your question at the end about is it healthy not to care about others, I don't really think it is. I think we are born with the ability usually to care about others and the people in our lives. I don't really know what to say though because I don't know anyone else who feels the way you do. I guess my suggestion is to see another therapist since it sounds like your old one wasn't that great. I would just get a second opinion cause it sounds like the thing you are talking about is something that a therapist kinda has to address.

[girlfromsocal]

also I feel like I'm wearing a mask at times when talking to others I don't know. After a while it feels comfortable. I don't know maybe it's the isolation. I don't have anyone in my life. But like if a child is raped and murdered I don't really feel sad I think oh that's wrong and that's it. When I was younger I was even worse what I thougt. Like I was 11 and this 12 tear old girl got raped and murdered by her mom's bf and I thougt really horrible things and no pity whtsoever. I never feel pit yfor anything. I just don't care nowadays. It's just I hope I never have to hurt nor my baby. I worry if I can ever develop a serious rrelatiobship or will he just not I'm faker than plastic... That's what I'm saying I just have never cared I want to but but I can't make myself...

[minniemouseprincess]

Originally Posted by girlfromsocal

also I feel like I'm wearing a mask at times when talking to others I don't know. After a while it feels comfortable. I don't know maybe it's the isolation. I don't have anyone in my life. But like if a child is raped and murdered I don't really feel sad I think oh that's wrong and that's it. When I was younger I was even worse what I thougt. Like I was 11 and this 12 tear old girl got raped and murdered by her mom's bf and I thougt really horrible things and no pity whtsoever. I never feel pit yfor anything. I just don't care nowadays. It's just I hope I never have to hurt nor my baby. I worry if I can ever develop a serious rrelatiobship or will he just not I'm faker than plastic... That's what I'm saying I just have never cared I want to but but I can't make myself...

Well..Nobody HAS to hurt their kid. Nobody SHOULD hurt their kid. Thats wrong and terrible. I would def. see someone about this. I don't know how much people on here can help with it.

[girlfromsocal]

I don't mean that. I don't have to hurt. Like I don't have to feel hurt nor for my baby to. Which I meant like my future kids... I didn't mean like hurting kids. I meant that's like the only thing I care about myself feeling hurt or my future kids. You know...

[minniemouseprincess]

Okay well still, I think seeing a therapist or someone is a must at this point.

[girlfromsocal]

why? Just curious. I went to a psychiatrist never was diagnosed. Maybe I'm emotionally scarred with therapy I'd have to tell a therapist how they're worst shit before I went back. But I'd talk to a psychiatrist...

[minniemouseprincess]

Well I say that because I think that it should be addressed if you are worried about it and also I don't think many people here can help with it. Its more of something that a therapist needs to deal with.

[PSY]

There are mental illnesses that are defined by the presence of apathy, or the apparent lack of concern for other human beings. A mental illness is persistent - meaning that it probably won't go away unless you seek treatment. Unfortunately, since we are not psychological professionals, we cannot offer much advice, other than to seek treatment. People rarely come away from therapy "worse off" than they were before. It sounds like your first therapist was incompetent, but there's no guarantee that the next one will be the same way.