I'm relapsing. I have been for the past week, but I hadn't gone back to purging
until today. Now I'm restricting and purging and weighing daily.
I don't feel like it counts, though, because I'm technically overweight...that means I'm fine, right?
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"
Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
Last edited by Willow.; November 13th 2012 at 09:38 PM.
Reason: Removing un-necessary prefix
Just because you've relapsed, that doesn't mean you've thrown everything away. You've fallen down, but you can pick yourself right back up again and continue where you left off. Don't forget about why you've relapsed, when you're in a better state of mind, look back at events in your life that may have triggered it. But right now, the main thing to do is get back up again.
& To answer your question: No. You can have an eating disorder at any weight. The effects on your body will be the same, and possibly deadly.
You can pick yourself back up. To even begin recovery, you've done absolutely brilliantly, and you should be really really proud. Recovery is full of ups and downs, but during the rough times it's good to try and remember why you started recovery in the first place. Often, though, the eating disorder will dismiss all good reasons for recovery, so that's why the importance of positive journal entry and motivation books come in. To prove that recovery, for you, is achievable and worth it.
Be brave, remember we're always here to support you through anything at all <3
“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
Jessi, the thing is, it's normal to relapse. You WILL relapse. It's a part of recovery! You just gotta push through. Get back to recovery... And keep fighting.
You can have an eating disorder. It doesn't matter what you weigh, that has nothing to do with it. I'm just now coming to terms with it.. I would never consider myself significantly underweight (I was but never thought I was) ... So it was like I COULDN'T have an ED... But that doesn't matter. You're feeling these horrible feelings and turning to these horrible methods of coping and THAT in itself is an eating disorder. The weight is just a side effect, and not one you want to go through. Because being dangerously underweight isn't all its cracked up to be. It sucks. And the worst part is: no matter hoe thin you become you will always see the "fat bits" which really just aren't there.
please... If you're still talking to a therapist or dietician TELL HER!! If not, tell your parents.
you're strong. You're so incredibly strong, wether you see that or not.
I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.
I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.
I'm really glad you've reached out to us, that takes a lot of strength, and I applaud you for that. <3
Just because you are overweight does not mean you should starve yourself, purge, or anything else. You deserve help just like any other person does. Is there somebody in your life, such as an adult, who you trust enough to talk to about your eating disorder and the feelings you are having about your body? Do you maybe have a doctor you can go to? If you are overweight, if you go to a doctor (possibly a nutritionist or dietitian) they can help you build a recovery plan with a meal plan that can help you reach your goals the healthy way!
You are worth recovery. It doesn't matter what you believe you look like, or even if you are significantly overweight, you do not deserve to starve yourself! Stay strong, and remember, we're here to help you.
a ship is safe in harbor but that's not what ships are for.