Triggering (SH): SO FAT!!

scarshurt24 · 09:22 PM

I'M SOOOOO FREAKING FAT!!!!!! Last night I couldn't stand how fat I am and especiallly my thighs. I carved the word "FAT" into my thigh I haven't been eating much at all just because I remember when I was down to a certain weight and I liked how I looked and felt abbout myself. Others said I looked sick skinny, but I was doing alright. I had control over it!! Ugh.......

Evanescence ♥ · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 10th 2012, 05:07 PM

You are not fat. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. If you saw me walking down the street, you would see that I was fat. If we compared ourselves together, you would be the skinny one and I would be the fat one.

Again, you are not fat. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

scarshurt24 · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 10th 2012, 05:28 PM

You are not fat either Cathy! You are beautiful inside and out as well <3 Like.....I see all of your replies to people and you have a huge heart!

Evanescence ♥ · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 10th 2012, 05:35 PM

Aww, thank you for saying that. So are you

scarshurt24 · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 10th 2012, 05:46 PM

It is no problem at all because it is true!

Glitter. · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 10th 2012, 10:06 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. I honestly can relate to the emotions that you're feelings. The intense frustration, the guilt for being "bigger" then you were at one point in your life. The drive to do whatever it may take to be "thin". I understand all of it. And in some ways, I'm still struggling with that. But in a lot of ways I'm heaps better than I was.

It's nice to have the control. It really and truly is. And in a lot of ways, that's what fuels an Eating Disorder. When you feel like you're out of control in your life, your mind jumps to the next thing it can control. For you it's food intake. The key is finding what makes your feel out of control and seeing what you can control that's healthy! If it's just your weight that's bugging you, then there are things you can do to control that that isn't destructive. You could get a nutritionist and have them form a diet plan for you that makes your feel happy and healthy. Of course exercizing safely can really help you lose extra weight as well.

But of course, you did mention self harm in your post. So I think it might be fair to assume that you have some other underlying issues as well? Have you ever talked to someone about all this? If not, you should. It'd be beneficial to you in making you feel better about yourself, and about life in general. It's really difficult to talk to people about your emotions but it DOES get easier.

I just want to remind you that you're a beautiful person. No, you're right, I've never seen you before. But it's okay. I find beauty in every single person. We weren't all meant to be the same. We weren't all meant to be thin and perfect. Truthfully, as woman, we have curves. We're supposed to. It's a lovely thing. Next time you're feeling down about yourself, write out all the things that you DO like. Look at inspirational picture. Do something to make yourself smile. It can be anything, so long as it's healthy for ya.

Hang in there, lovely. <3

Sarahh9 · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 11th 2012, 05:24 AM

You need to take a deep breath and relax. You are not fat. You are a beautiful person, inside and out who doesnt deserve to feel this way. Carving words into your skin won't help fix anything, no matter how deep you cut of how often you do it. There are better things that you can do to cope. Have you ever considered reaching out for help? I know that its really scary, but it might save your life.

Imagine not feeling disgusting every time you eat. Imagine not letting a scale distating your happiness. Imagine a life that you can live to the fullest, not one controlled by food.

If you ever need someone to talk to next time you feel like this, there are so many people here that are always willing to talk. Know that there are always options besides hurting yourself. And never forget how beautiful you are.

scarshurt24 · **Re: SO FAT!! -** July 11th 2012, 07:35 PM

Thanks! I have seen a nutritionist once, but it was sooo overwhelming that I never went back because I was just too scared to even think of myself eating 3 meals a day plus snacks. I tend not to eat breakfast and lunch, but do dinner because familly is home and all. I do see a counselor, but not regularly.