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SufferingAlone Offline
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Doctors Arghhh... - January 11th 2009, 02:14 PM

okayy.. some of you might remember my thread a few months back.. saying i was going to the doctors.
well i went.. ive had 3 appointments with 3 different doctors.
and the last doctor i saw told me that since im going to be 18 in a month.. theres not alot she can do for me because i need to make my own choice on what i want to do. i just wish that she would have just made me do something about it because im not strong enough to make this choice on my own. i might be nearly 18 but im no where near the adult state of mind to make this choice.
i just feel like she didnt want to help me, because im not worth helping.. im not in a serious enough condition or something.
but now im slipping even deeper into my ED and its controlling so much more of my life now.
i just havent got the courage to go back to the doctors again. it took so much for me to go the first time and now ive got nothing from it.. no help or anything. and im on my own again.
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Music Offline
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Re: Doctors Arghhh... - January 11th 2009, 02:31 PM

You should try going back again. Tell them exactly how you feel, and what you told us here about not being able to make the decision on your own. I know it's hard, and it sounds like you had a negative experience with the doctors you went to. The doctor was right though, in giving you the choice. You're almost 18, she can't force you to get help, all she can do is offer it and hope you accept. Also, the thing with EDs is that if you don't want the help it's much harder to get through it, you need to want to be helped. It sounds like you do, but you need to let her know that.
Would it be easier for you if you wrote a note to her? Lots of people find it much easier to write what they feel on a piece of paper and just hand it to the doctor, and doctors understand this and they won't think less of you at all if you do this.
But you should really try going to the doctors again, and when they offer you help accept it, no matter how hard it might seem. The longer you wait and the deeper you get into your ED, the harder it will be to get help and to get better.

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eunoia Offline
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Re: Doctors Arghhh... - January 11th 2009, 07:45 PM

Try, and try again. I know it's easy to be discouraged from non-responsive doctors, but I think you know, deep in your heart, that seeing a different doctor is what you need. You do not have to suffer in silence, and you do not have to go it alone.

We all want control. I think it's so wonderful that you understand that your eating disorder is controlling you, and that you are NOT in control of it. That's such a huge step and it's so promising that you can see this. Remind yourself of this, when you think you can handle things by yourself. Remind yourself of this, when you're afraid to make that phone call. And always remember that you are WORTH being helped. If one doctor cannot help you, then you will, you WILL, find someone who can, if you keep at it.

Look at it this way--if you were having bad stomach pains, and one doctor told you they couldn't help, you would go for a second opinion, at another doctor, right? Even if five doctors said they couldn't help you, you'd find another doctor. Because your health, your well-being, your life, is worth it.

Let me know if you ever need to talk, or if you just need a few words of encouragement. Take care of yourself, and make that phone call. You can do it. :]

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Jas Offline
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Re: Doctors Arghhh... - January 11th 2009, 08:25 PM

Firstly, I guarantee you that however sick you get, you'll never feel sick enough (to need help, as compared to others, etc.) Your own perspective, due to the nature of the disease, just can't be expected to be accurate when it comes to that. Although you say you aren't 'very sick' - that could mean anything, and you may be. I've seen people that are throwing up six times a day say they're doing well. (So help me if anyone needs clarification on this - but throwing up six times a day does not a well person make.)

Secondly, go back to the doctor and at least ask for your options and a recommendation. Yeah, you'll have to make the final decision - that's part of growing up - but you don't have to do it alone. I feel like you're seeing it a bit black and white, she won't tell you what to do therefore you have to do everything. Not true! If you want support making care decisions, we're here (for what it's worth), your doctor is available, and there are loads of resources available on the web and in print. You clearly feel as if you need some help, so please don't let an excuse keep you from getting it. It may take strength to ask for help, but it takes even more to follow through when you get it, and I really hope you can muster enough to do what you need to.

Good luck.
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arghhh, doctors

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