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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
L.O.V.E. IS??
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SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 5th 2012, 02:42 AM

It's all I think about. It's the only thing i CAN control. It's dangerous, but self-full-filling in a way I can not describe. All I wanna do is lose lose LOSE! I wanna achieve accomplishment and the "wow" factor of someone wishing they could be as SKINNY as me.

This is all so confusing. I want help, but I can't do this alone. She's literally taken over my life these past few months, I'll start losin like crazy if I let her take over.

I ask myself, what led me to this? And my answer; lack of control over the things i CANNOT CHANGE! EXTREMELY STRESSFUL!

plus, school this year will NOT BE EASY, THIS IS MY CRUCIAL YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL. I need to be perfect. This is literally going to kill me...


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'

Last edited by Just Peachy.; September 10th 2012 at 03:50 PM. Reason: Removing unnecessary prefix. :)
   
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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 5th 2012, 04:30 AM

My (I'd say girlfriend, but it's not quite at the stage of labels) partner is about your age. For the past three years, she's been struggling with the same desire you have. She has a Tumblr, which is apparently strictly private, that she showed me the other day. I did not realise that her thoughts were as intense as they are, but since she has showed me it, the amount she talks to me about it is tenfold. I know she wants to be skinny, just like everyone else does, but it's damaging to just about everything around her. I've tried to convince her otherwise, and I think she's slowly coming around to my suggestion that she is already skinny, and she needn't worry about losing more weight. I've talked to her about the ramifications of thinking the way she is - the consequence of pushing people away, or hurting herself deeply when it doesn't work out. I think it has helped her just to talk to someone about how she's feeling. Someone close and personal. Someone who won't judge her for the thoughts she has, or the goals she wants to get to. Someone who won't be pushed away when she says the things she does.

She's not fat, not in the slightest. I think talking to someone about it has made her realise that. But I'm not completely there yet, I haven't completely convinced her.

To be honest, in your position, I would advise you to find someone you can talk to. A sibling? A parent? A best friend? Be completely open and honest with them, and they will be completely open and honest with you.

I understand it's all you think about, and it's consuming your whole life. I was once that way. The mere fact that someone convinced me that people love me for who I am, not what I look like, changed my whole outlook. Find someone close to you, and talk to them about it. It'll take time, but you just need someone to keep near you when times get tough.

Good luck.
   
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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 5th 2012, 08:55 PM

Hi there.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I know these kind of thoughts can become obsessive and hard to some what deal with.

Honestly? I don't think you losing weight this way is you being in control but I think its a sign that you have lost control. How about turning this around? How about you start to take control again and manage your eating habits and behaviours in a healthy way. Take control and beat it because only YOU can do that.

You honestly want to be so skinny people will walk past you and wish to be you? Because the chances are, those people will be feeling how you feel now and possibly being on the verge of creating disordered eating. So why would you want to wish, for those people, to want to be 'skinny'. Surly you'd rather otherweight or underweight people to look up to you while you're at a healthy weight and think 'god she looks so good, I wish I had shape and curves like her'. Not 'Wow. Shes so skinny, I want her bones'.

I understand this is confusing but this doesn't have to take over your life but if you don't want it to be taking over you and your life, you need to start taking control of your eating and thought patterns. Challenge the thoughts you're having and change the behaviours you're acting on.

You being skinny or underweight is not going to help you in school. Trust me, if you lose weight, you don't just lose weight. You lose energy and concentration. You'll struggle to keep up with your work and you'll even struggle to get yourself into school.

I know this is hard but you can do it so take that control and beat this. And don't be alone. Let people in and let them help you.

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 6th 2012, 01:55 AM

Thank you everyone. I will take everyones response into consideration. This isn't easy and I'm not trying to be someone else when i say i'd like the "wow factor" it's just how i feel if you can understand that Jessie. Thank you both for your encouragement and advice.


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
   
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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 7th 2012, 04:42 PM

Kelly,

I understand exactly what you're going through. I understand that drive to be perfect, needing that wow factor. Just thinking about it drives you insane. I get all of that. However, when you let these thoughts take over, and you can't help but to give in- that's not control. A lot of people perceive restricting and over exercising as control. When really, it's an obsession and it can't be helped. That's why you have to recover. If you had the control, you would be able to stop the thoughts and manage them. It more complex than black and white.

I can also understand your confliction with wanting to get the help, but not. Letting go of something that ironically gives you comfort is really difficult. You can get through this though. You don't NEED to deal with this. I know you want that wow factor, but none of it will matter if you're sick and you can't think straight. Even if you do get down to your goal weight, then what? Will you stop and be all better? It's better you seek help for this now while you still can. Going through Senior year with and Eating disorder is hard. I've been there. But you can over come it.

I'm really sorry that I don't have anything helpful to say. I really just wanted you to know that I understand, if you need someone to talk to, my inbox is open for ya


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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 8th 2012, 01:35 PM

Awe, thank you Lynds. I will be sure to take you up on that offer!


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
   
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Re: SKINNY! SKINNY! SKINNY! - September 10th 2012, 03:45 PM

You're welcome, lovely <3


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