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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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It's getting worst - September 12th 2012, 02:16 AM

I'm changing entirely and I feel so sick around food. Oh my gosh, this is not good, i just want to be normal again, Happy. Is that too much to ask for? No, perfection is what i'm gamed for and if this is what i need then that is what i'll do. If it gives me accomplishment, then happieness should follow along behind.


Some things are beautiful because they are un-obtainable <3

'A dream is what you desire if anything and everything is possible.'
   
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Re: It's getting worst - September 12th 2012, 04:11 PM

Hey Kelly, why do you think you need to be perfect? I hate to be so blunt but maybe if you figure that out it will help you. Sometimes you need to just take a step back and breathe, because your beautiful and smart, I hope things get better for you and pm me any time. xoxo- Lexie
   
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Re: It's getting worst - September 12th 2012, 05:49 PM

Ohai there Kelly

A lot of what I'm gonna say you've probably already heard. I'm going to say it anyway, though, in the hope I can help you out a little.

Although it might not seem like it, it's good you've admitted you've actually got a problem. Denial is a massive hindrance to "getting better", as I'll call it. Eating disorders are a slipperly slope, and I want to try and deter you from falling any more.

Okay, where should I start? Happiness won't follow that sense of achievement. Brief moments of euphoria clouded by hours upon hours of loneliness and depression covers it better, I think. Yes, you will experience a brief high, a sense of accomplishment. But along with that comes guilt, pain, hurt, self loathing, disgust....you get the idea. Emotions are intensified, and you WILL feel like (pardon my french) shit most of the time, mentally and physically. I've been in recovery for nearly a year. My body is STILL messed up. Once I was told something by an ex-therapist that terrified me: You don't need to be "thin" to die from this. If you do not eat enough, you will inevitably die, unless you start eating right and are lucky. I know of people who have (tragically) died of this at a "healthy" weight. It's not about weight. It's about the nutrients you're giving (or not giving) your body.

I honestly don't know what I can say to help. I wish I could fix this for you. Get help while you still can, I don't care how much you weigh, how long this has been going on...no. Get help early before this takes over you any more. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. <3



Take as long as you need.
   
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