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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
entangledmind Offline
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I hate myself when I eat - November 7th 2012, 06:58 AM

I wasn't eating all day and I was feeling so proud of myself but by the end of the day at dinner I ate two servings of salad with milk. I'm so upset with myself and disgusted. I was doing so well too... I hate myself

I tell people i'm
tired. But in reality

i'm just sad.


Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 7th 2012, 09:21 AM

Remember, your body needs food to survive. You were listening to your body, giving it what it needed and looking after yourself by eating. I know it's hard to accept when you're struggling with things like this, but it is true. I'm here if you want to talk.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 8th 2012, 12:10 AM

I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I know what you're going through & how you feel. It's a hard thing to deal with, but please try to stay healthy. =/ Feel free to message me if you need a friend to listen.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 9th 2012, 05:03 PM

Hey Sarah <3

Okay. Where should I start? Eating is something we all need to do, right? Everyone, and I mean everyone has to eat, or they die- end of. Not eating isn't "Doing Well"- it's depriving yourself of life. I don't know you or your history, but it sounds like you struggle with food, am I right? Eating disorders are deceptive things. But I'm going to let you in on a secret- it's all bullcrap.

Not eating will not solve your problems. Losing weight will not make you feel any better. Being the thinnest won't fix anything. I could sugar coat this, but I don't think it will help either of us. Wake up. See through this illusion that is being pulled over your eyes. You are worth so much more than starving yourself, darling. You are worth so much more than hating yourself over doing something that every living thing on the planet does. An eating disorder will completely take over your life, and that isn't what you want. The end result is you die. That's it. Over. No glamour. No sugar coating, no soft, gentle death- no. Starving yourself only leads to pain and death. Nothing more.

Is there anyone you can speak to about this? I know it's absolutely terrifying, but honestly, you can do this. I say this a lot, but it only takes 5 seconds of bravery to make a positive change in your life. Admit you aren't okay. Throw your scales out. Talk to someone. Reach out.

The feelings of hatred when you eat don't belong to you, they belong to the eating disorder. And the eating disorder can be pushed away and removed from the equation. It takes a lot of work, but you can beat this once and for all. Show how stubborn you are and fight for your life. You can do this.

Chin up <3

Take as long as you need.
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 12th 2012, 04:34 PM

Salad is a really healthy thing for you to eat. Vegetables are good for you, as is milk. Like others said, your body needs food to survive. You can't function properly if you aren't eating. Not eating isn't an indication of how well you're doing. It just shows that you're struggling. You're actually doing better to eat. Don't make not eating a game. Because you will lose. Eventually you'll end up in the hospital for things like dehydration, malnutrition, etc. Your body isn't going to let you continue on with this forever. If you're worried about your weight, your best bet is to eat healthy and exercise. Talk to a doctor about what's healthy for your height and weight. Also, I think you should consider talking to a counselor or a trust adult. Don't let this ED eat you up. You can get out of this, and you can feel better. Kay'? You aren't alone. <3

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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 12th 2012, 06:12 PM

It should be the other way around. You should have been proud of yourself when you ate, and disgusted with yourself when you weren't eating.
Your body needs food to stay healthy.

I try my best to help, but that doesn't always mean I will be helpful.

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 12th 2012, 11:39 PM

Ok, let's get into the technical side of eating first. Ever heard of metabolism? Well it is basically your body's ability to turn the food you eat into good stuff and get rid of the bad stuff. It needs to be regulated or it gets very confused. So if you starve yourself the whole day your body will scream at you and beg you to feed it, resulting in binge eating. Your metabolism will also be so confused by the stopping and starting of eating that it will swallow up all the bad stuff in the food you eat, since it think it is the last meal it will be getting for ages. This means you will put on more weight from the same amount of food. The lesson to be learnt here is that your body will only lose or maintain weight correctly if it is regulated and always knows what's going on. Try eating a small meal (even if it is just salad) every few hours and you will notice that you will still lose or maintain the weight you want without damaging your body. Also remember that salad is healthy! It is a good thing to eat! Don't punish yourself or feel bad for eating something that is good for you!

Now I'm sure you are already aware of everything I have just said, in which case your problem lies deeper than just not knowing how the body works. It sounds very much that you are suffering from an eating disorder as you are wanting to starve yourself and feel guilty when you 'fail'. I would say talk to a professional. I'm not sure of your weight, but if you do genuinely need to lose weight then a professional dietician will be able to guide you with HEALTHY ways to lose weight. If you do not need to lose weight but merely think you do, then it is psychological and needs to be dealt with. Try seeing your GP. I completely understand your desire to be thin and you probably fully believe that starving yourself is the way to do that, but it is doing so much harm to you! There are much better ways of dealing with your body image. Please try to explore these better ways.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I hate myself when I eat - November 13th 2012, 01:05 AM

Hello sweetie,

I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way. You should know that you are beautiful. No number on a scale can define beauty. If you're really having trouble with eating and your perception of yourself you should really talk to someone about this. I had problems all throughout high school with my body and what I ate. I thought that if I ate two meals a day that I was going to get fat so I starved myself to eating maybe one bag of chips a day. Honestly my hair started thinning out, my face broke out and I was constantly exhausted. Don't punish yourself. Eat healthy meals a day.
Salad and Milk are very healthy and good for your body. You won't cause yourself weight gain from eating healthy foods. If you're really concerned with weight, just don't over indulge in sweets/junk food.
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