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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Honey Muffin Offline
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I'm not sure anymore.. - November 30th 2012, 03:34 AM

Okay, so let me just say that I've been dealing with this for almost 3 years now. I never actually admitted to having an ED either..I'm doing a lot better now than I was in the beginning. I eat more, but I still don't eat as much as I probably should. Back then I barely ate at all & was pretty underweight. I remember looking at myself in photos & seeing the color was gone in my skin, my hair was like straw, and I didn't have any fat on my body. This isn't the image I wanted..I wanted to be beautiful & thin... I realized I had a problem then & gained some weight. I'm healthier now, I eat organic foods, but I still feel like this problem isn't completely gone. I still don't eat three meals a day & I still obsess over the "staying skinny" thing. I drink a lot of coffee to make the hungry feeling go away & sometimes if I'm really hungry I'll eat a lot of fruit to feel full . Now I'm at the weight I want to stay..I weigh myself all the time to make sure I haven't gained any weight. I just want to eat whatever I want without worrying.. I don't know if I will ever get over this..I just need someone to talk to who can relate. Is this even normal..? :/

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Last edited by SparklingWine; November 30th 2012 at 02:55 PM. Reason: Removing un-necessary prefix
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Re: I'm not sure anymore.. - November 30th 2012, 03:01 PM

Hey there!

I want to start by saying I think it's really good that you're eating a bit more regularly and such. It's hard to do that.

I also want to mention that maintaining a healthy weight is completely okay! However, it's the way you go about it. You have to understand that weight fluctuates a lot, so it's not going to be the same number on the scale every day. But there is a difference between fluctuated weight and weight gain. It's important to know the difference. I think you need to talk to a nutritionist about this. They can help you with maintaining a healthy weight, eating healthy, and feeling good about yourself. I found a nutritionist to be very attentive and helpful. It's work giving a shot.

But weight is only half the battle. I think you need to work on a better self esteem in order to be happy with yourself. And all that takes time. It's hard, and I completely get that. How about you talk to your fiance about this? I think you truly want to recover and be free of this. He sounds great for you, so perhaps you can let him know whats going on. I also think that you can practice a positive body image in all that you do. Take compliments and believe them (People wouldn't say them if they weren't true), never talk down on yourself, compliment yourself, wear clothes that make you feel confident, etc. It's process, but once you hit recovery, it's all going to be worth it.

Take care<3

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