TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jessa95 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Jessa95's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Whiterock

Posts: 25
Join Date: August 28th 2012

Angry Mom's triggering talk - December 3rd 2012, 01:58 PM

My mom sat my down the other day and said Jessica i know your trying to recover from an eating disorder but i need to diet. Im not happy with my body so im srry but im gonna eat a lot less than you and i know its going to be hard but your going to have to keep eating lots. My mom is very petite and not large and only weighs about the amount of fingers you have on both your hands more than me. I fought back tears and thought what? i know this is not going to work.... Seeing her eat one meal a day and putting a mountain on my plate multiple times a day and her getting smaller while she throws me onto the scale and hopes to see the numbers increase? im crushed... how could she do this to me? I need support not this... im taller than her but still.. why does everyone else in the world get to choose if they want to diet or workout and what they weigh and look like but me? i have no control over my own appearance its scary and my moms turning into a monster....
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
byuhgirl Offline
Esther
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
byuhgirl's Avatar
 
Name: Esther
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest

Posts: 29
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: November 26th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 3rd 2012, 03:00 PM

Hey hun! Alright I know this is super difficult and it's one of the worst parts of recovery. We live in a world that is constantly achieve a skinny [EDITED]. All of those people can eat as little as they want, but because we have an eating disorder that people know about we are expected to eat more. Chances are your mom does not truly understand how upsetting this is to you. Explain to her how you feel and that maybe you guys can just work on eating healthy meals together. Going on a diet doesn't have to be the same thing as starving. Talk to her about maybe eating salads, cutting back on unhealthy foods. Maybe have a vegan or vegetarian diet Good luck!!

Last edited by Coffee.; December 3rd 2012 at 05:26 PM. Reason: Please do not post weight or clothing size numbers, even in a positive context, they are against Code of Conduct. Thanks!! :)
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Kindred Offline
You can handle anything
I've been here a while
********
 
Kindred's Avatar
 
Name: Eyeliner Failure
Gender: Female
Location: Summoners Rift

Posts: 1,910
Blog Entries: 64
Join Date: March 20th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 3rd 2012, 03:38 PM

Hey sweetheart <3

First of all, I am so, so proud of you. You're doing brilliantly.

Secondly. I want you to remember back to when you were starving, and then honestly and truly tell me from the bottom of your heart that you were happy. I know you aren't happy right now, but you're well on the way. I promise. Recovery will give you nothing but happiness, in the end.

I want to challenge something you've said, though. It's something I've thought in the past, actually, so it's familiar. "Why can everyone in the world diet but me?" If a recovery alcoholic goes to a party where everyone is drinking, is it safe for them to drink? Nope. You can look at this one of two ways: "It's not fair." or "That's just the way it is." Same as some people can sing well and some can't.

This can work. I can't pretend I'm happy with what your mom is doing. Is there someone else in the family you could talk to to talk to her, or possibly go and stay with? It's not good at all to be in the same environment as someone who is dieting. It's putting you in the way of temptation, and that isn't somewhere you need to be. You can be extra strong. Be proud to be freeing yourself from the prison of constantly caring about size, shape and weight. Because in the end, all of that stuff doesn't matter. Look at the people you admire, who you take strength from. Do you admire/love them because of their weight?

Keep your head up. You can do this <33



Take as long as you need.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Jessa95 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Jessa95's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Whiterock

Posts: 25
Join Date: August 28th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 4th 2012, 01:47 PM

You both are right, thank you ill try to be strong and if it doesnt work ill be honest with her and worse comes to worse move back in with my dad. How long does recovery take?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
byuhgirl Offline
Esther
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
byuhgirl's Avatar
 
Name: Esther
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest

Posts: 29
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: November 26th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 4th 2012, 03:23 PM

That's different for every person. I believe that you have to go through the recovery process multiple times. For me at least I thought I was kind of ok after like a year, but here I am *triggering* starving myself and making myself throw up after every meal. Talking really does help though, find someone, anyone you can talk to.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Kindred Offline
You can handle anything
I've been here a while
********
 
Kindred's Avatar
 
Name: Eyeliner Failure
Gender: Female
Location: Summoners Rift

Posts: 1,910
Blog Entries: 64
Join Date: March 20th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 4th 2012, 03:27 PM

Recovery takes as long or as little as you need it to. It gets so, so much better. God it does.

Head up x



Take as long as you need.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Jessa95 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Jessa95's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Whiterock

Posts: 25
Join Date: August 28th 2012

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 5th 2012, 02:00 PM

oh, ok :/ I'll just keep trying.... i dnt want this to be the rest of m life
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
SparklingWine's Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 27
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 7,232
Blog Entries: 197
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: Mom's triggering talk - December 5th 2012, 02:59 PM

I know it seems like recovery is going to take a long time, but it really depends on a lot of factors. It depends on how much effort you put in, how driven you are, the mindset you have, etc. You're not going to be dealing with it forever unless you choose to deal with it forever. Recovery is a choice. You CHOOSE recovery, and it's in your hands. So really, the ball is in, and has always been, in your court. Unfortunately, you're facing a lot of things that are working against you. But there are alternatives to everything. And you're strong enough to get through these barriers. And like above said, it gets better, but not unless you make that effort.

Take care<3


  Send a message via AIM to SparklingWine Send a message via MSN to SparklingWine  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
mom, talk, triggering

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.