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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Question My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 11th 2013, 10:45 PM

This is my first time posting here.
Anyway I could really use some advice.

A little over a month ago my older sister, who happens to be 19, tried to kill herself, she's been dealing with depression, anxiety, and has been going to therapy about once a week for the last month.

But over the last week and a half or so I've noticed she's not really eating very much. Were both home all day and share a room so I'm sure of this. She passed out recently and as someone who's passed out before from lack of food I know what it looks like. She also has a blog that's borderline pro-anorexia. It all just really scares me. She's really important to me and while we hang out and watch Gilmore Girls and love each over very much she doesn't talk to me about this stuff.

I'm really uncertain about telling my parents. While their both aware of the depression and anxiety, I don't think they know about the eating disorder. Which scares me because on her blog she seems to want to keep it a secret and keep going down the same path with no real intention of stopping or trying to stop. She has a plan to try to lose weight to a point where she would be really underweight.

I don't want to tell my parents and make it worse. I'm just afraid that in their attempts to help the could make it worse. But on the other hand I'm not sure what's going to happen if I don't say anything. I don't want to leave it alone and just have her spiral down. Eveything I've read about this says that I should sit her down and try to talk about it. But since she's in therapy and my parents already know about the anxiety and depression I'm not sure this is the right choice.
   
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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 11th 2013, 11:35 PM

I think you should talk to her. Tell her how you feel about this and that she should tell her parents.

I hope I helped you,

Cathy


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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 12th 2013, 12:22 AM

The way I see it, you're going to have to choose between your relationship with your sister and her health... However, I suggest you at least try to discuss it with her...


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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 13th 2013, 02:46 PM

hey :)

First of all, I'm sorry you're in this situation- it can't be easy on you, or your parents, and obviously not your sister. What I do want to say is that your sister is very lucky to have someone who cares so much about her to seek advice on her behalf. The fact she has you, and caring parents, means this whole recovery thing is more likely to work. :)

Honestly, I think your situation sucks. But, I also think deep down, you know what you need to do. If she's passing out from hunger, then she's probably doing some serious shiz to her body. That needs fixed. But, I don't think you should tell your parents straight away. I think, and this could backfire, you need to talk to her first. Make an ultimatum. Either she starts eating/talks to her therapist about this/ tells her parents about this- or you will. Eating disorders aren't anything to be fucked about with. This thing needs treated.

On a personal level, though, I think her parents need to know- for the sheer fact that she's practically killing herself slowly here, and they have a right as parents to know what they're protecting their daughter from. Really encourage your sister to talk to them, and you- if you can handle it, please please don't take on things you can't handle, that will hurt you and leave you in a position where you'll do more harm than good. What your sister does is her responsibility, but telling your parents is probably what's right here. When your sister is in a better place and recovered, there is pretty much no chance at all she'll resent you for it. She'll probably thank you for saving her life.

Have you ever considered family therapy? It could really help, especially if your family want to find out how to best help her.

You can do this. I know it's tough, but stick with it. We're always here if you need us. Head up darling <3



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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 13th 2013, 07:10 PM

First I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who responded, especially Laura. You really helped me a lot and made me feel less alone in this. :]

I did end up telling my Dad. Which I think really was the right course of action. My worst fear was that my parents would be clueless on how to help and just tell her to eat more and not really take it seriously, and that would make it worse. Though thankfully this wasn't the case at all. Not only were they already at least somewhat aware of the situation, but as it turns out my Dad use to counsel people with eating disorders, so he knows the territory pretty well. Which was something I has no idea about. I was pretty convinced they had no idea what was going on and I didn't know about my Dad's background in counseling at all. I was so relieved when he told me that. Now I know that my parents know what their dealing with and will make sure she gets the help she needs.

I'm glad I told them about the blog though. I think looking at that stuff was really hurting her, and my Dad had no idea about the content of the blog. I think seeing it gave him a window into how bad it had gotten, and now hopefully that window will help my parents be able to better help her.

Again thank you so much to everyone you responded to this.


Last edited by theperksofbeingglencoco; February 13th 2013 at 08:16 PM.
   
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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 13th 2013, 07:45 PM

Glad I could be of help! <3

That's seriously great news, I'm really glad everything has gone so well. You did the right thing, so well done- I know it can't have been easy for you.

Keep us updated! Hoping everything goes awesome for you guys, and I'm always always here if you wanna chat :')



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Re: My sister has an eating disorder. What should I do? - February 14th 2013, 03:41 PM

Wow! That's awesome. I think it was the right course of action as well! It's pretty awesome that your dad understands this kind of stuff, so hopefully he can get your sister the help she needs.

But because this issue seems well resolved, I'm going to close down this thread. OP, if you need this reopened or have any other issues PM me, or feel free to start another thread.


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