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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Want to puke what's happening to me :s - April 18th 2013, 04:23 PM

Ok, so I already worked out this morning.... And I REALLY wanted to have chicken balls and fried rice, I've been having a craving for it for like a week but denied myself it because I have been working really hard to lose weight and didn't want to screw things up by doing stuff such as having disgustingly unhealthy seeming food such as that.... I had 4 chicken balls and a bowl of rice and once I was done I calculated around how many calories that was and I was horrified and immediately wanted to just get it out and get rid of it before my stomach digested it and i googled it and was serious considering it. Then I backed off and decided I'll just go for a 5-10 km run instead. Which wouldn't be a big deal except that I already worked out at the gym for about 45 minutes this morning AND I have an exam I am supposed to be studying for. I'm seriously disgusted by what I just ate and it's making me feel disgusting and i need to get rid of it... But I am also freaking out because I am having these thoughts, I was afraid that I might start thinking like this once I finally started getting somewhere with my weight loss because I have shown signs of coming close to having eating disorders in the past (grade 7-11 about i was at high risk). I don't know what to do. I am usually so careful about what I eat like lots of healthy foods like pastas, fruits, vegetables and I try avoid the "bad stuff" but this has been happening more and more lately where i eat something bad and immediately want it go get it out of me because I am afraid it'll cause me to gain weight (or to not lose more weight).... I want to be able to lose weight in a HEALTHY way and I'm just ranting now.... i'm going for the run, I have to, but I don't know if I should be worried or not... Am I now at risk like I was afraid I would be?




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Re: Want to puke what's happening to me :s - April 18th 2013, 05:45 PM

Hey there,

I think it is a good thing you are trying to lose weight in a healthy manner but if you notice that it is becoming an obsession you might want to look into talking to someone about so that they can help you through this. You can still work on losing weight but you will have that extra help, you know. I also wanted to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having 'unhealthy' food on occasion. It seems like you are doing all the right things so one day where you eat something that is considered 'fast food' is okay. I remember when I was in treatment we had two meals where we ate a meal that was higher in calories because our bodies can handle it; it is okay to splurge. It can be scary but as long as you are eating healthy (Getting the proper nutrients) it will be okay. Try not to stress about what you have eaten and keep pushing forward towards your healthy weight loss goals. Remember that the key is to be healthy, okay.

I hope this helped in some way and if you need anything please feel free to PM/VM me.


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