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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Noire Offline
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Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 21st 2013, 05:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

For most of my life, beginning in childhood, I have struggled with my weight. In my adulthood I have largely made peace with my body, but lately I've had some rather distressing issues arise.

I should probably give a little background. When I was eighteen, I weighed a very healthy weight; I exercised often and ate a balanced diet. Stress eating in college made me gain some weight, but nothing too obscene; I was still in an alright range. However, starting about two years ago, due to depression, poor eating habits and less exercise, I began putting on a large amount of weight. While I sometimes despaired at such an increase in size, it didn't bother me too much; my partners found (and find) me incredibly attractive and love my curves, and most of the time I love them too. However, I was aware there are risks to my health, so I recently went to see a nutritionist.

This nutritionist recommended I go gluten free and cut lots of carbs. So I did for a while. I started losing weight and feeling better about myself, and was getting compliments from those close to me. But being gluten free is hard. One day I got really triggered at a family reunion where everyone was eating dessert and I couldn't have any. So while everyone else was napping I gobbled a piece of pie down. And at that moment I felt a feeling I haven't felt about my body in a long time, something I hadn't felt since the days I was starving myself in high school: loathing.

Since then I've been eating gluten while pretending to others that I am not. I'm lying to my nutritionist about it. And I feel terrible about myself. I've gained weight back and my moods have gotten worse again. But worse then that I feel things I haven't felt in a long time: I feel fat, and ugly, accusatory of myself that I am some kind of slob. After I eat a bunch, I want to make myself vomit. I've pondered buying laxatives to take after eating so I don't ruin my teeth and esophagus. And it scares me that I have thoughts like this. I know that I am beautiful and nothing is wrong with me, but I feel so gross and critical of myself. It's making me want to start self harming again.

I want to lose all this weight, but it was just going so slowly, even after cutting all sugar and carbs, and it was so discouraging. I feel like it'd be easier to just eat whatever the fuck I want to eat and get rid of it some other way.

Does anyone have any advice? I just know I'm starting to slide into a dangerous place, and I don't want to go there.


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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 21st 2013, 11:28 AM

Let me just say, that you are NOT slipping into a deep dark place, Being Fat, or slightly overweight is not that bad, and to be honest, its okay.

But if you still want to lose some, heres my advice.

Having the mind to eat when you are full is something that will stay with you FOREVER.

Even if you are the skinniest of people, you will still have urges that a weighty person would, wanting to scoff his/her face in any food when he/her is FULL. its OKAY though, because there is a way around it that you will like. i hope.

Firstly, you CAN EAT all the foods you want, all the cake, pies, whatever. In return..

Exercise, now i don't mean like 99.99999% of your time.

Target a specific area on your body that you WANT to lose weight in.

____________



Lower chest, abdominals

-
Situps

Doing situps will get rid of the fat in the belly.
_

Upper thigh.

-
Squats, simple as that. This one is a good option, because it shapes your butt and rids most of the fat in that general area.

_

Calves/Generally all fat


Run on spot
-
Just, run on the spot, for about 15 minutes, put headphones on or something, this will get rid of generally all fat around your body, aswell as help shape your calves.

So remember.

Situps (50? maybe)

Squats (50? maybe)

Run on spot. (15 minutes, maybe?)

YOU can decide how many you do a day.

But aslong as you are out of breath or in Aching pain..

You should burn enough calories from this exercise.

And still eat what you want, The exercise should start going up..like.. half an hour? or then an hour? or then two hours? and soforth.
If you need any more advice, PM/VM me <3

(Did i mention how much confidence it will build?)
   
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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 21st 2013, 01:28 PM

Honestly, it surprises me that a nutritionist would tell you to cut down on carbs and go gluten free. That's a drastic diet for someone who has no "real" reason to do it (ex. ciliacs disease or gluten/wheat sensitivity). i don't think that habits like that are good at all and you should do something sustainable (ex. what do you want to do long term? do you want to never eat gluten again or do you want to find a way to balance your diet for good?). For some people these diets work, but not the same thing will work for everyone (ex. some people find that being a vegetarian is best, others find that a gluten free diet is good, some people eat like "normal" just in moderation, others cut out just chocolate and candy but keep eating pizza and wings, others cut out wings and keep chocolate, some people stop having red meat, what is effective for each person can go and on and on). And if this isn't working for you then it's for a reason. If you have no "real" reason to be eating gluten-free then I'd say find a thing that'll be more healthy because gluten free isn't even necessarily healthier: there aren't less calories and they usually compensate with more sugar or fat to make up for the lack of gluten, so gluten-free isn't necessarily a healthier option. I briefly thought it was a good idea and all i accomplished was finding out that I like coconut and rice flour and have merely expanded some of the stuff I like to eat gluten-wise and go for gluten free options sometimes. it's ok to do that, but you might want to consider adding gluten back in and find another option.
Set little goals, like stop eating fast food so much and only get it once every 2 weeks (one of my initial goals as an example), or decide you want to run 5 KM and start training for that (there's lots of good apps for running to help you out with that, like couch to 5 km or 1/2 marathon training or couch to 10 km or just plain ol' 5 or 10 km things), or commit to learning martial arts/self defence, learn how to cook (ex. choose big recipes that can last for a few nights, or learn how to make 2-3 new fast healthy recipes for when your busy etc.) because if you know how to make a good range of foods (especially ones that are fast to put together) you won't reach for the junk when you don't have time for a big meal. Just focus on balancing your diet, figure out what actually works for you. Like for example, I eat so little meat that I've actually considered just trying to be a vegetarian for a month to see how that'd work out for me, I'd never be a "real" vegetarian cause I'd still eat a steak if I wanted it and my father would flip his lid if I went home and didn't eat meat but still, it's a matter of just eating what's going to work for you
I don't know if you read cosmopolitan or seventeen or any sports magazines (running, dancing, etc) cause seventeen and cosmo for sure have really awesome work outs sometimes that are really quick, you can go buy some small weights (ex. I have 3 lbs, 5 lbs and 8 lbs dumbbells) and do those, they're pretty quick and don't take up a lot of space so you can do them while watching tv or what ever
I can definitely understand how you are feeling, I used to be a "healthy" weight and gained quite a lot during my first few years of university and it's just been really hard to be finally losing weight and creating a few additional insecurities and concerns for me (you'll notice I've got a post in this forum). So I can defs relate to the frustrations and such.... If you need to it might benefit you to A) get a better nutritionist who won't recommend unnecessary diets (or just diets that don't work for you in general, for some people it is necessary and for some people it would be effective) because there are nutritionists who will make sure they help you with what you need in terms or diet/exercise, not all dieticians will suit your needs and B) it mgiht be useful to talk to a counsellor about your concerns.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 21st 2013, 01:28 PM

Honestly, it surprises me that a nutritionist would tell you to cut down on carbs and go gluten free. That's a drastic diet for someone who has no "real" reason to do it (ex. ciliacs disease or gluten/wheat sensitivity). i don't think that habits like that are good at all and you should do something sustainable (ex. what do you want to do long term? do you want to never eat gluten again or do you want to find a way to balance your diet for good?). For some people these diets work, but not the same thing will work for everyone (ex. some people find that being a vegetarian is best, others find that a gluten free diet is good, some people eat like "normal" just in moderation, others cut out just chocolate and candy but keep eating pizza and wings, others cut out wings and keep chocolate, some people stop having red meat, what is effective for each person can go and on and on). And if this isn't working for you then it's for a reason. If you have no "real" reason to be eating gluten-free then I'd say find a thing that'll be more healthy because gluten free isn't even necessarily healthier: there aren't less calories and they usually compensate with more sugar or fat to make up for the lack of gluten, so gluten-free isn't necessarily a healthier option. I briefly thought it was a good idea and all i accomplished was finding out that I like coconut and rice flour and have merely expanded some of the stuff I like to eat gluten-wise and go for gluten free options sometimes. it's ok to do that, but you might want to consider adding gluten back in and find another option.
Set little goals, like stop eating fast food so much and only get it once every 2 weeks (one of my initial goals as an example), or decide you want to run 5 KM and start training for that (there's lots of good apps for running to help you out with that, like couch to 5 km or 1/2 marathon training or couch to 10 km or just plain ol' 5 or 10 km things), or commit to learning martial arts/self defence, learn how to cook (ex. choose big recipes that can last for a few nights, or learn how to make 2-3 new fast healthy recipes for when your busy etc.) because if you know how to make a good range of foods (especially ones that are fast to put together) you won't reach for the junk when you don't have time for a big meal. Just focus on balancing your diet, figure out what actually works for you. Like for example, I eat so little meat that I've actually considered just trying to be a vegetarian for a month to see how that'd work out for me, I'd never be a "real" vegetarian cause I'd still eat a steak if I wanted it and my father would flip his lid if I went home and didn't eat meat but still, it's a matter of just eating what's going to work for you
I don't know if you read cosmopolitan or seventeen or any sports magazines (running, dancing, etc) cause seventeen and cosmo for sure have really awesome work outs sometimes that are really quick, you can go buy some small weights (ex. I have 3 lbs, 5 lbs and 8 lbs dumbbells) and do those, they're pretty quick and don't take up a lot of space so you can do them while watching tv or what ever
I can definitely understand how you are feeling, I used to be a "healthy" weight and gained quite a lot during my first few years of university and it's just been really hard to be finally losing weight and creating a few additional insecurities and concerns for me (you'll notice I've got a post in this forum). So I can defs relate to the frustrations and such.... If you need to it might benefit you to A) get a better nutritionist who won't recommend unnecessary diets (or just diets that don't work for you in general, for some people it is necessary and for some people it would be effective) because there are nutritionists who will make sure they help you with what you need in terms or diet/exercise, not all dieticians will suit your needs and B) it mgiht be useful to talk to a counsellor about your concerns.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 21st 2013, 01:33 PM

Body confidence is gained through a change in thinking. Not through exercising and justifying calories to yourself.

I don't have time to fully reply to this but I'll see if I can when I get in <3



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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 22nd 2013, 04:21 AM

I should clarify that I do have a wheat/gluten sensitivity, though I don't have Celiacs'. My primarily issue is a sugar intolerance, and that comes in the form of carbs, like breads and things, which I was eating a lot of. When I went in to see her I was having a lot of digestive distress (nearly constant diarrhea), feeling fatigued all the time, bacterial vaginosis (something made worse by eating sugars) and problems with PCOS, as well as an exaggeration to my mood disorder. So there was basis for going gluten-free. In addition, when I started eating gluten most of those problems, which disappeared, have come back: I'm always lethargic, my depression and anxiety are terrible, my menstrual cramping is worse and I have terrible PMS again, the BV is back and I am beginning to have stomach issues again. So the changes were good for me, and founded.

I seem to honestly have a problem with motivation. Like I said before, I was losing weight, but it was so little (in my mind) after so many sacrifices. In reality the amount I lost was about par for someone who is losing weight and wants to KEEP it off. But I'd heard so many stories about people cutting sodas (I started gaining all that weight when I started drinking a lot of soda) and dropping lots of weight quickly that I thought it would happen to me. After three weeks without any soda, I had hardly lost any. It doesn't help that the people closest to me still lots of gluten-y foods I love and used to eat (burgers, fast food, doughnuts, pizza, etc.) and that two of my closest friends have both dropped significant weight recently just by cutting sodas/sweets. I just feel so frustrated that they drop all that weight quickly but I have to fight for every pound I lose.

Thank you guys for the other tips. I was starting out by doing a set of sit-ups every morning, but when depression kicks in I have problems with motivation. For example, I haven't been taking my supplements regularly, or filling in my dietary journal, something my nutritionist is onto me about. I keep meaning to do the thing where I cook big meals on sundays for the rest of the week, but my depression is really getting in the way. It's a double-edged sword: I need motivation to get back on track, but my anxiety and depression keep my motivation low to non-existent. It's easier to say "screw it" and go pick up a burger than it is to get in my kitchen and make a vat of soup, even though I love cooking.

On the bright side, today I confessed all this to my mom and she was really supportive. She did help make some food for the week for me today. So that was a little victory.


Love joins
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The power to conquer here in our hearts
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For love, love alone will conquer all


"A Million," by VNV Nation
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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 22nd 2013, 02:39 PM

Oh ok, that makes more sense haha... I didn't realize that you did have a gluten and sugar sensitivity because removing gluten is a drastic diet if you don't have to deal with stuff like that.

One thing you could try if motivation to cook/exercise can be a problem is to make big batches of things like chilli, pasta sauces, soups etc, on your "motivated" days and then freeze as much as will fit into your freezer so that you have stuff to grab on days when you just can't be bothered, that way you aren't going to grab food that's extra unhealthy (tends to make me feel ultra guilty beyond the "norm" though) and that's just going to make you sick becase you have pre-made healthy options at home, I have a few other non-soup/chili/pasta sauce recipes that are also easily freezable, you just gotta look a little harder for those ones though. Also you can try replacing what ever gratification it is you get out of fast food with healthy food (ex. if the burger is your comfort food, how can you replicate that at home), but then again there is really nothing wrong with having unhealthy foods as long as it is in moderation. But pre-making food and freezing it is usually a useful idea, that way your not ALWAYS having to go buy fast food when you don't want to cook




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Re: Starting to develop issues about weight/body image - April 23rd 2013, 11:46 AM

"Spot burning" doesn't work at all. Spot burning, is targeting certain parts of your body, to loose weight there.

You can tone different parts of your body, by for example doing sit-ups, to build better muscle mass, but it won't burn the fat just there. It'l burn fat in the whole body at once. The best way to loose weight by exercise is brisk walking, and maybe with time, running. Running can tire people out quickly though and leave them exhausted after 20 minutes, unable to do more. With brisk walking, people can often carry on for even an hour.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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