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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ali Offline
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Name: Ali
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Unhappy ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 05:02 AM

umm where to start?
i told a friend a few days ago that i had lost weight and i was so happy so what does she do? she starts hitting me and kicking me and then yells out to our other friend OMG SHE THINKS SHE'S FAT AGAIN. :l
so yea... we had a huge fight (on msn) about her hitting me all the time... she said a lot of nasty stuff really upset me... she said she'd heard I'd stopped eating again and she was saying I was just doing it for attention.

we're not friends anymore...

so I was talking to another friend about the fight I'd had... and she asked me something... she asked If i had an eating disorder... i said how can you tell? She thinks I do... i go through stages where I don't eat or I eat very little.
everyone keeps telling me I'm not fat but I hate it when people say that D= because in my mind i am.
When I get up every morning I look at myself in the mirror and tell myself how fat I am... and i really wish I could stop but I just can't.

The only person who thinks i am over weight it my mum... she's been telling me for years i should lose weight... she said i would be so much happier if i was thinner... she's made a deal with me, every time I lose 4kg she'll take me shopping and buy me something nice.
I have lost a bit of weight over the past couple of weeks and my mum is so proud of me.
She doesn't know that I don't eat much... she thinks I'm eating less and exercising more...
I'm good at hiding it from her... I didn't eat all day until dinner time... we always have to sit down and eat dinner as a family... I said I wasn't real hungry so she didn't put much on my plate... she was happy I wasn't eating a lot for dinner.

I hate eating so much... it makes me feel sick... knowing that all that food is inside me... I feel sick now because I ate dinner... I love the empty feeling In my tummy I get when I don't eat... it's weird... when I eat the empty feeling goes away and I just feel sick.

I really don't know what to do... only two of my friends seem to want to help me atm... they're trying so hard... and I'm so glad they care... but they're not really helping.
They keep trying to tell me I'm not fat, that I look fine just as I am... but i really wish they wouldn't say that... it drives me crazy when they do... because in my head I'm fat and them telling me I'm not doesn't help.
My friend says she want's to help but she doesn't really understand so she sent me a link to this site.

... um... I really don't know what I want anyone to say... something... anything I guess
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 05:07 AM

Dear Ali,
I understand what you're going through and how you felt. I've been suffering from eating disorder for the past five years. (in my case bulimia) and every day i wake up i look at myself in the mirror and never am I satisfy with the way I look like. (I am obese, at the moment, due to circumstances in my life) I always want to be thinner. And omg, my mum even do the same thing as your mother. She takes me out to shopping everytime i lost weight and made a deal that if i lost up to this she give sme money to buy whatever I want.

I'm sorry what your friend has done to you. She's not worth it. Let her go. A friend would never hurt another friend. Maybe she did it because she doesn't understand what you're going through.
But you can always talk to me.

take care okay?
xoxo


"The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
You're a miracle in every way
Sometimes it might seem hard
your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you hear the rain

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries"
  Send a message via MSN to Hope_and_Faith  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ali Offline
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 05:25 AM

my "friend" always likes to hit me... and other people... when I told her I didn't like it she was like oh I do it to everyone get over it.

thanks for the reply it's great to know there's someone out there going through the same sort of thing... not that I'm saying it's a good thing what's going on... just it's nice to no I'm not alone

my friend thinks I should go to a health clinic or a doctor or something to get help... but I really don't want to D= and I'm afraid it'll just make me worse... when ever I read a book with a character who has a eating disorder or info books about it... it just gives me ideas D=

have you been to seen anyone? did it help at all?
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 05:35 AM

Dear Ali,
Then that friend of yours is definitely not a nice person to be with or think in the other way she may have some issues of herself thats why she's taking it out on other. Anyways, i'm glad I could be there for someone. I have to go to shrink every month for my depression and my eating disorder. They put me on medication for treating bulimia. But im still suffering with it, so i guess it didn't help much in that case. If you are afraid of letting others know about your eating disorder (i also do, only two persons in my life know about my eating disorder-my shrink and my bf) you can always talk to me. I understand how you feel and will be your helping hand through out the time you need.

take care
xoxo


"The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
You're a miracle in every way
Sometimes it might seem hard
your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you hear the rain

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries"
  Send a message via MSN to Hope_and_Faith  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Ali Offline
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 05:44 AM

i really don't like the idea of going to see a shrink... :S
I've been to see the school counselor before about other stuff but i just don't like talking to her... I'd much prefer to talk to my friends

It's really hard because I have a really close relationship with my mum, and I tell her a lot of things most people my age wouldn't tell their mum.... but I just can't talk to her about this... my friend says I should confront her about how she's bribing me to lose weight... but i seriously think she's right... my mum is the only person who thinks I'm overweight and I believe her over everyone else D=

sorry but I gotta go... It's been real great talking to you about this... hope we can chat again soon
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Hope_and_Faith Offline
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 12th 2009, 06:02 AM

Dear Ali,
Well if you can always talk to me or PM if you like. I'll always be here. take care and have a nice day. Hope we get to talk again soon


"The one you really are
But you don't have to hide your heart
You're a miracle in every way
Sometimes it might seem hard
your whole world falls apart
Just know that when you hear the rain

Even heaven cries
Everybody cries
It's ok to doubt
Yourself sometimes
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you fear inside
It's alright, it's alright
Cause even heaven cries"
  Send a message via MSN to Hope_and_Faith  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
love__me Offline
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Re: ... help? ... anyone? D= - January 13th 2009, 01:59 PM

I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. My mom doesn't do the same thing. I think you might have some sort of ED, but i'm not a doctor, so I can't say for sure.


You are beautiful just the way you are.
Looking like a fallen star.
Don't listen to what people say.
They don't know the real you, anyways.
   
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