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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Fenzy Offline
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Unhappy Hopeless and helpless - June 21st 2013, 05:22 PM

I'm back down at my lowest weight. I don't know what to feel. Sometimes I just feel hopeless. My specialist says she is concerned about my weight loss. I just feel hopeless. I tell people I'll eat but I can't keep my promises. I just need to lose weight. I don't know why but I just do. I'm bony as hell and I still want to lose weight. Why? I have no idea. But I need to. I told my mom I wasn't eating as much but she didn't really know what to say. She just says that I'm going to die if I don't eat. We're looking at inpatient a day treatment options but it just seems to difficult to figure out between school, work and my family. I don't know what to do. It just seems unfixable. My specialist suggested I ask my mom to sit and eat with me at breakfast. I basically said no because if I can get away with it.. Then I'm going to get away with it. I felt pathetic saying that.

I feel hopeless. Helpless. Scared. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Everythiing just sucks.


Sorry for grammar, I'm on my phone


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 21st 2013, 06:51 PM

Hello cassie, well, to be honest i don't have much knowledge in this type of problem, but i want to do what i can.

You must understand that its in your will to change, it may be a "problem" for you, and every problem can be overcome. You just need the "Will" to overcome it.

<3 You must know that there's no reason to be Scared, Helpless, Ashamed or Embarrassed.

Scared? There's nothing to be scared of, i HIGHLY Doubt what your mother said is true, and was just to scare you.

Helpless? Your family, friends, specialist, teen-help, and yourself. thats alot of help.

Ashamed? You are who you are, fat, skinny, problem, whatever. Your YOU. Nothing to be ashamed of there.

Embarrassed? Do you think your Embarrassing to your family? friends? specialist? people on teenhelp?
-

don't just eat.

eat what you enjoy, whether it be something sweet, or meat.

Enjoy eating, if you don't know when to eat, just eat anytime. Then later on gain control over it. You need to get into a routine of eating. Thats all, don't fight it, GO with it.

1.Get food that you enjoy

2.Make a routine of eating

3.ENJOY eating

4.Don't think its complicated or impossible! its EASILY possible and its NOT hard aslong as you are Willing to do it, and i know you are.

<3 PM/VM me for Further advice <3 <3

You'll be alright, cassie.




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 22nd 2013, 12:33 AM

You don't need to be embarrassed, ashamed or anything else like that when speaking with us, many of us have direct experience with eating disorders, those of us who don't still want to help very much. This is one place where I hope you will learn to feel safe from negative feelings like that.

Any how, if your already seeing a specialist you might want to talk to them and let them know that the approach isn't working, that your still struggling with your body image and reaching/maintaining a healthier lifestyle despite the fact that, logically, you know your to thin and need to stop what your currently doing. Not to mention that you might want to explain to your mom that the problem isn't that you might die. Fact of the matter is that it's not as easy to starve to death as you might think, your body and mind doesn't want to give up and die, it fights against it. Many people live for years being underweight and malnourished from not having enough food and what takes a lot of them to the grave is complications and other issues that were worsened from the poor access to food. And just saying "if you don't eat you'll die" clearly isn't an effective message in your case, clearly, as I am sure you know.

Have you been able to look into the roots of why you have an eating disorder? Because understanding it might help you to stop if you know what you have to overcome to be able to move on. Overcoming poor body image can be challenge but its possible.

Inspirational quotes and finding other things that comfort you can help, like maybe playing/listening to music or learning yoga or taking self-defense courses and such can help. It can help distract you when your struggling with this, it also might help you to learn to enjoy eating more too, like even if you can find a way to enjoy food a little more, like listening to music while eating or watching movies while eating etc cause then you won't be focusing on the food so much.

It'll be a hard path to recover and to start eating. It's not just changing your eating habits, it'll be better if you can get to the roots of why. And it will be hard. But you can to it. Just stay strong




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 22nd 2013, 01:40 AM

Thank you very much guys <3 It's nice to get some positive words. As for the root of the problem, I am not entirely sure.


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



   
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 22nd 2013, 01:20 PM

Rawrrrrrrrrrr.

Okay. Soooooooooo. Things have gone a bit downhill since the last time I spoke to you. I don't want you to feel disappointed in yourself, because recovery is really difficult. In a way, eating disorders are internal struggles, and the support you recieve is external. No one can really fix the internal part, apart from yourself, and you'll need external help and support to do that. I'm not making much sense today am I? Ohhhhh welllllll.

Okay. So I'd like to talk to the Cassie who wants to get out of this struggle. The part that wants to live, for future happiness, for life, laughter, love, for ice cream and dancing, for hugs, kisses, concerts, for rain and sunshine and beachtrips. An eating disorder dulls all emotions. Yes it dulls the horrible ones. But it also dulls the beautiful ones.

It's an illusion, and you need to shatter it. You do not need to lose weight. I, as an individual in this community, am standing up and saying this now, loud and clear. If you listen to me, what can I offer? Well, support for one, but if you stick with me a little while, happiness, freedom, a future. If you listen to your eating disorder, sure it'll whisper support into your eat and promise you you're never alone. Sure it'll "comfort" you. But it will also take away your soul, your happiness, your life. You have too much life spirit, and I can't see that taken away from you. Your mum is right, and you know she is. If you don't eat Cassie, you will die. That's the way life is and there's no way of getting around that. You can't stick with your eating disorder because if you do, it will take everything you have.

I, Laura [Edited], am begging you to get help. From when I've talked to you previously, you've gone downhill. And we all know that's a slippery slope. You need to climb back up, you need to communicate, do all the cheesy recovery things you know you have to do. Recovery comes first. Day inpatient can save your life, if you don't take it and continue going to school and work, you risk losing those things for a longer amount of time anyway. If you continue down the slope they'll be taken away for a lot longer, and that might sound tempting right now. Because I know the pull to be "sick enough", I know the desire to be taken care of. But this isn't the way to get it. Look into inpatient care, someone else might need to take control of you in order to save your own life, my lovely.

I'm here. We're all here, and we're all right behind you. We won't leave, we will still think you're beautiful no matter how much you weigh. And let me tell you, the strength of an entire community pulling together is so much stronger than the voice inside your head. So many people have been where you have been. Now are you going to chose life, or death?

Keep your head up, you wonderfully beautiful girl. You have all my love, my wishes and my hugs. I know you can do this, and remember the offer is there if you'd like to speak to me. I know I'm probably being a little harsh in the way I'm speaking, and I am truly sorry for that. Why? It's sheer desperation on my part to save you from yourself.

Laura <3



Take as long as you need.

Last edited by .:PrincessZelda:.; October 13th 2014 at 04:01 PM. Reason: Removing last name at the request this poster
   
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 22nd 2013, 02:40 PM

Hello Fenzy

It will only get worse if you leave it alone. You need to be proactive in getting better and recovering. If you are not recovering you are dying, so it is between life and death. It will not go away over time. They take work and effort to be able to stop. You will not get "fat", you will get healthy. I know the word healthy might seem like "fat" to you but I assure you it is not. I mean your mind will get healthy and so will your body. Your mum right..


Listen to your body.
Listen to your feelings.
Trust yourself.
Accept yourself.
Love yourself.
Enjoy life again.
   
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Fenzy Offline
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 22nd 2013, 03:06 PM

Wow, I can totally relate to the wanting to be sick enough and wanting to be taken care of.

Thank you for thr advice. I'll keep trying. I need to make the decision of inpatient or not.. And so do mt parents. Thank you.


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Hopeless and helpless - June 25th 2013, 04:10 AM

If you want to change you can (: be stronger than your want to not eat. Muscles and a little fat is healthy. A little fat fusions your organs so they can perform their duties (: now, if you were morbidly obese, too much fat inhibits organ function.
But don't be harsh on yourself. Ask for help and try to get better (: you don't sound like you think everyone is against you and that you're a whale.
You sound like someone recognizing their flaws, and wanting to improve even though its incredibly hard to do so. But it is possible sweetie (: I hope I didn't make anything worse


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