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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Fenzy Offline
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Anyone else experience this? - July 23rd 2013, 08:36 PM

Helloo!
So, I still consider myself to be doing okay because I'm not engaging in eating disorder activities. But lately I just REALLY don't want to eat. I mean at first it was kind of a "Hey, I have permission to eat! This is good!" kinda thing and then it was a "Well I really don't want to but I should" and now it's become an "I CAN'T eat". I physically feel sick all the time and I don't know why. This makes me not want to eat but then when I don't I get soo hungry and that makes me not want to eat either (you know how you get soo hungry that you feel kinda sick and you don't even want to eat anymore). I feel like I'm either depressed or really anxious all the time because I feel kinda hopeless in decision making. I can't decide whether to eat, what to eat, when to eat or if I just shouldn't eat at all. I physically just feel like I have no desire to eat anymore - I don't even get cravings. I don't want my weight to start dropping again because the consequences won't be great. But I can't take this crappy feeling of ALWAYS being uneasy and physically ill. I'm having a hard time dealing with the changes to my body and the food I need to eat. I think maybe the anxiety is coming from the fact that I don't know my weight but I'm not entirely sure.
Has anyone else experienced these feelings?


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Re: Anyone else experience this? - July 24th 2013, 04:15 PM

I definitely understand where you are coming from. I think that after a long time of feeling hungry, you start to feel nauseous. That's how I feel anyways. My question to you is, what has changed from "Yay I get to eat" to "I can't/don't want to eat"? I think it's important to log your emotions every day so that you can look back and see the pattern of when and why your mood falls. Does that make sense? So maybe it might be worth journaling some emotions you're experiencing during this time.

Another thing, recovery is tough. You're going to go through periods of feeling high and feeling low. During this time, I think it's important to stay connected to the people in your support system. Who's someone you can talk to about this? The more connected you stay to others, the better you'll be able to stay on track. Recovery isn't something that was meant to do alone. Having the support and care from people is a major thing to get us through. So I highly suggest talking to your parents, or friends, or counselor about the things on your mind right now. Use coping strategies that you've learned. Take the tools you've acquired, and utilize them.

As far as actually eating, I think, for me, the more I don't eat- the more triggered I get. If your nausea is due to hunger, I think it'd be a good idea to ease your tummy back into food. So start with things that are light on your stomach such as soup. Eat things that with ease the stomach- not upset it! I think eventually you'll start to feel better mentally and physically. I know it's hard not knowing what you weight, but do you think it'd help you in your recovery to know? At the end of the day, scales don't matter. Because, as I'm sure you've heard, your weight doesn't define the person that you are. You're beautiful without that scale.

I hope this helped and that you start feeling better soon!

-Lindsey


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Kindred Offline
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Re: Anyone else experience this? - July 24th 2013, 05:37 PM

Oh god yes I did

I can't really add much to what Lynds has said, but what I did to stop the nausea was I had medicine designed to reduce nausea. I also had to learn to really relax and that helped. Ehm. Eat when you feel least sick, and see a doctor if it continues. I know, it sucks :/



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Fenzy Offline
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Re: Anyone else experience this? - July 24th 2013, 05:45 PM

Thanks both of you! I have trouble talking to loved ones about this but I do talk to my specialist. I think what makes me not want to eat is the fact that I sometimes feel hopeless either way. I don't like eating because of weight gain and fullness but if I don't eat then bad things will happen. My outlook changes as time goes on and I realize this is something that will never go away. I'll have to do it for the rest of my life..


Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"



   
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Re: Anyone else experience this? - July 24th 2013, 06:37 PM

You're right, the thoughts will probably never completely go away. That doesn't mean you can't recover. Recovery isn't about stopping the thoughts or feelings. Rather it's about choosing healthy coping strategies and not letting the negativity win. I know you're finding it hard to eat but you know that you should. Don't give up because hope is out there.


♥ PM me anytime, I'm here for you ♥

Out of the ashes I'm burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar. I've got shame, I've got scars that I will never show. I'm a survivor in more ways than you know. 'Cause all the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I was broken and bruised. Now I'm a warrior.
   
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Kindred Offline
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Re: Anyone else experience this? - July 24th 2013, 06:41 PM

*Raises hand*

Mine are gone. Completely and utterly. Without tempting fate of course. (: Low mood and general fucked upness sometimes still occurs but as far as things actually related to eating, calories and weight I'm fine.



Take as long as you need.
   
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