Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ShotaPrince Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
ShotaPrince's Avatar
Name: Max
Gender: Trans
Location: New York

Posts: 16
Join Date: February 27th 2013

Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 25th 2013, 02:40 AM

I've been self-recovered for almost 2 years now and my weight has consistently went up and down through rocky relapses and a poor view of my body. I've learned to love my body more in the past few months and I've been increasingly comfortable with my body shape. This afternoon I went over to my dad's friend's house and he's kind of known for being a total a**hole. His exact words to me were "You've put on weight. In a good way. You used to be thin." and he laughed a little. I know he's very blunt and he's also quite nasty to heavier people. His words totally broke my self confidence. I considered myself on the thinner side of average and my weight is very low, (I'm short too, so I can't tell if it's the height bringing me down) and I'm about the same weight that I was when I stopped eating 2 years ago. His comment just got me very very depressed and upset with myself over my weight and I've been beating myself up about how noticeable my weight gain is and how I'm no longer considered "thin" in his mind. This post was really just a vent, but if anyone wants to offer me comfort or advice on fighting back the nasty comments, that'd be nice, too.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
Newsletter Tips Writer
Outside, huh?
Kate*'s Avatar
Name: Katie
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 4,740
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 25th 2013, 03:08 AM

Hey Max, I HATE when people make comments like that about anything really. I know it's easy for you to kind of slide back into a negative mindset, but if you know this person is generally judgmental, then his comments are a reflection on him, not on you. Don't let him have the power to decide how you feel about yourself.

Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BluePoison Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
BluePoison's Avatar
Name: Sark
Gender: Female
Location: U.S

Posts: 20
Blog Entries: 14
Join Date: December 19th 2010

Re: Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 25th 2013, 06:54 PM

Hello !

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am still struggling with my eating disorder right now, so I know how difficult it can be. Two years clean is a huge achievement and I am so proud of you ! You are my inspiration.

Do not let one asshole get to you like that. He is just one stupid person. I know it is very difficult because comments like that sink in more than nice comments. I really hope you keep it up and make it to 3 years and 4 and so on. I am routing for you and you can rant to me anytime someone says something you do not like. Just shoot me a message !

Love, BluePoison

|| Keep telling yourself you are happy until you smile on accident ||
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Fenzy Offline
Only dogs should fear pounds.
Junior TeenHelper
Fenzy's Avatar
Name: Cassie
Gender: Gal

Posts: 223
Blog Entries: 24
Join Date: December 7th 2012

Re: Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 26th 2013, 01:01 AM

Hi Max

Just like Katie and Sark said, it's better to just forget about him and just focus on you. Only you know how you feel and whats good for you, not him.

Just do you.
Head up!

Only you have the power to say,
"This is not how my story will end"

  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière
I can't get enough
Rivière's Avatar
Name: Sarah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,491
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 26th 2013, 03:06 PM

I know you might not see it this way but I genuinely think he was trying to compliment you, just that his words came out wrong and sounded like he was trying to offend you. The way I interpret it is that he was trying to say that you've gotten yourself to a nice size where you're not overly thin, but you still are thin. The key words there are, "In a good way", meaning that he meant you've put on weight in a good way. It doesn't mean that he was trying to insult you or say you've gotten bigger, just that he thinks you've done well in putting on a littler weight. This is no bad thing.

Life is for living, not for losing.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
TeenHelp Addict
Coffee.'s Avatar
Name: Traci
Age: 27
Gender: she/her/hers
Location: North Carolina

Posts: 8,137
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: Dad's friend being nasty about my recovery - July 29th 2013, 08:04 AM

I'm with Sarah. I think what he said was meant to compliment to you; however, I think this guy might just be a bit of a douche, the type of person that almost everything they say sounds like an insult. So just ignore his opinion. What's important is your opinion, your body and health's opinion, and possibly your doctor's opinion. Congrats on two years of recovery, you're doing wonderful, and we're here for you if you need to vent at any point.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
  Send a message via MSN to Coffee.  
Closed Thread


dad, friend, nasty, recovery

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.