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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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VoodooGirl Offline
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Name: Sam
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Afraid I might be developing an ED - August 3rd 2013, 05:56 PM

So in April I started a diet that my parents had previously successfully done. I met my goal by July and was very pleased with myself and proud of what I had accomplished. Then I started the phase where you start introducing more foods into your diet and you don't lose any more weight its just so you can maintain it. This is where the trouble started. About a week into it I started binging and purging. I had purged before, maybe about 3 times in high school but nothing too serious. Then I started doing it more frequently and now I've started skipping meals.

The thing is I'm aware it's wrong and I don't want to do it. But I get an uncontrollable urge to eat endless amounts of food, and it's food that I'm allowed to eat- healthy food, but I overdo it to the point where it's deffs not healthy anymore. And then I get so scared that I'm gonna gain weight that I purge or vow to eat very little the next day. Yesterday all I ate all day was a chicken breast and some sunflower seeds. I've also been compulsively checking my weight all day every day. But it's like I can see all these behaviors that are dangerous, and I want to stop but I can't tell anyone cause then my parents probably won't let me move back to school where they can't keep an eye on me and also I'm afraid they'll make me gain weight which I don't want to do. And I can't just stop because I can't help it. I want to lose weight so badly. I don't know what to do but I needed to share that with someone. I don't want to get worse, I want to just eat normally. But I can't.

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Coffee. Offline
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Re: Afraid I might be developing an ED - August 7th 2013, 08:45 PM

Hey Sam,

I'm glad that you're acknowledging the problem that you have been going through. Regardless of if you can be diagnosed with an eating disorder (which is impossible for users here to say, as none of us are professionals) these behaviors are obviously harming you, and therefore, you want to improve and feel better!

What's happening is that you are restricting your calories too much and because of that, your body binges to make up for the nutrients that you are lacking. Then, you purge, vow to do the same thing, and continue to make your body crave these nutrients. I would very highly recommend you talk to a doctor about these behaviors, along with having them prescribe a healthy diet regimen for you to follow. You did better on the diet that you had been on because it was strict and allowed you to plan ahead with your meals; now that you're trying to maintain weight, you don't have this structure, and it's triggering your behaviors. If your doctor could give you a higher calorie, higher nutrient meal-plan, this would help you keep a structure. Then, if they believe you need more help with these disordered behaviors, they could recommend therapy, IOP, etc, and find what could be right for you.

Good luck.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
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