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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
m_nice Offline
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my progress - August 4th 2013, 08:11 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel bad because i posted a huge post about my experience then the site crashed and i lost it all! However my binge eating has really almost completely gone away. My help began when i realized i did have a binge eating disorder and that i wasn't just addicted to sugar.

When i realized i had a disorder I bought two different books to help me get better. The most important take away from the books were trying to address the reason why I was being triggered. For me it had to do with stress and coping with conflict.

I realized that I had an underdeveloped ability for conflict resolution, and was seeking out food instead of focusing in on what was making me feel hurt,angry,sad etc. One insight on how I remain so calm under attack is i tend to shut myself out and focus on food instead of what is happening in front of me, so I'm not really in the moment, then as the stress builds and the lack of resolution or being in the moment would force me to seek out the object of my attention. Usually some kind of sugary snack which i would inhale without limit.

Then of course you end up feeling terrible about overeating.


Now i try to realize why i want to go eat food and realize i'm not hungry i don't want the candy I'm really mad at my boss for being a jerk. I don't need to let him being a jerk interfere with my life goals of eating healthy and looking good.


Once i realized when i was stress eating and when i was not, it's easier for me now to enjoy foods that used to send me overboard. I will enjoy 3 cookies from subway because i want to eat cookies and enjoy them, not because i'm mad at my gf.

I also have realized in terms of dieting that i can't deplete myself of too many carbs. If i do my body usually wants to play catch up, i'll feel like death all week then end up binging. So for dieting i want as many carbs as i need to fuel my workouts but i don't want to underconsume either. Since i had a bit of a yo yo effect in place if i went too far overboard. I believe this is the healthier alternative. Also now that i'm able to identify when i'm enjoying foods versus stress eating, i'm now just working to live a healthier lifestyle with a healthier diet. Knowing everything will come with time if i'm just consistent. But it's a huge relief to be able to eat a cookie and not feel like i've been derailed or feel guilty or like a failure. Recognizing and enjoying food has been a real step for me. I still don't like eating out because that food is mostly junk, and i'd rather eat in and eat healthy, but my eating disorder has really seen a lot of progress towards resolution, which ultimately i believe will help me be the way i've always wanted to be. I'm actually a pretty healthy person and would probably be fitness model athlete if i didn't have the eating disorder, so fixing that has been my main priority. Now it's just about learning to have more adult coping mechanisms for stress, which is an ongoing process and i'm always open to hearing with mature forms of coping management, breathing etc. I still have a lot of anger issues but that's a topic for another forum
   
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Re: my progress - August 4th 2013, 08:45 PM

Mike,
You should be very proud of yourself for taking action against your eating disorder. That is a great accomplishment! Keep up the healthy habits. And you're right- consistency will pay off in the end.
I do not have much experience with eating disorders, but I do know some good ways to deal with stress. Have you tried writing in a journal? I find that it is very helpful to cope with stress by writing about it. Another good tool to fight stress is to find something that relaxes you and that you enjoy doing. I relax by grabbing a good book and sitting outside or taking a nice warm bath
You have made so much progress! Keep at it and stay strong.
<3 Nal


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: my progress - August 5th 2013, 03:06 PM

Thanks Nal, I did start doing a journal at work, but not of all things in my life. I do think it could be helpful, but then i also worry if anybody were ever to FIND the journal. Since sometimes I often think what i never say. Just a concern. Ya I'm still looking for things to help me, i enjoy reading, maybe i should take more showers, most of my activities rev me up before i relax. I don't tend to de-stress quickly, big ball of anger here lol
   
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Re: my progress - August 5th 2013, 05:23 PM

I have the same problem with thinking that someone will find my journal! I've been looking around for good hiding spots around my room tell me if you think of any great places to hide one!


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Re: my progress - August 5th 2013, 05:51 PM

I think some kind of electronic journal with a lock/password would be better lol. Not a blog because people will see that. I do think the act of writing can be nicer, though i'm a better typer than a writer.
   
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Re: my progress - August 5th 2013, 06:04 PM

Congrats on being able to recognize when you had a problem, and fixing it. It's a great trait that hopefully will get you far in life! It's great to hear you're doing well now.

If you ever need any advice or support on continuing your success don't hesitate to ask!

Cheers buddy


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Re: my progress - August 13th 2013, 03:35 AM

Thanks everyone, i'm also focusing on not letting stress affect me, I was eating dinner and i was being yelled at. I just said ignore that, don't engage, don't stress eat, you're eating dinner because youre hungry, you're not going to over eat.
   
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Re: my progress - August 14th 2013, 12:31 AM

I am really proud of you for acknowledging you have this problem, and you're continually trying to work through it to become better! You should be proud of yourself.

Something that stuck out to me was you being mindful. You learned how to step back and recognize if you were actually hungry or feeling stressed/sad/anxious/etc. Every time you want to participate in a binge, just be mindful. Explore your emotions and try to see if you can work through those. Finding coping mechanisms that work for you is key here. Writing in a journal is a good idea, but what also sparks an interest?

I just want to touch on healthy eating for a second. Because you were a binge eater, and a yo-yo dieter, it's EXTREMELY hard to learn how to eat within a balanced diet. Fortunately, there are resources out there for you. First, I would consider a dietician. They can take all your measurements, weight, muscle mass, BMI, feelings about food, etc and construct a diet based around you and your needs. You can also talk to a health teacher as well. Teen Help has a thread here: Guide to healthy eating. Just beware, because there are calorie figures in the thread (I don't know if that triggers you or not) http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f16-g...ealthy-eating/

All in all, I think you're on the right track. You're aware of your emotions, you're working towards fixing it, etc. I think the biggest thing for you is finding healthy coping mechanisms for negative emotions, and healthy eating.

Hope this helped!


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Re: my progress - August 14th 2013, 06:30 PM

Yes i've actually hired a personal trainer that is also a nutritionist for a great price, so in some respects what i eat is now in his control, i just follow the regimen , but it's a useful experience to learn how much I SHOULD be eating, even when I was eating healthy I may still have been overindulging
   
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Re: my progress - August 23rd 2013, 10:44 PM

Since hiring a nutritionist trainer i'm in a pretty good place, I've been hungry but it's because of my diet, the closest thing i came to binging was I had 2 slim jims and some pistachios which aren't on my diet plan, but they were so delicious. So I owned enjoying them and didn't go overboard.
   
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Re: my progress - August 31st 2013, 10:40 AM

Hi there!

You're doing really good with this. Recognizing what triggers your binges is pretty important. You should be proud of yourself. Now I'll probably be echoing what others have said, but oh what the heck? I do agree with the idea of a journal, and I can relate to the fear of it being found. I, too keep things to myself. But sometimes I like to write in a notepad on my lap-top about things bothering me. Just a safe place to vent my thoughts, you know? Gives you time to de-stress whether than doing anything unhealthy. Some other simple things you can do is sit, and throw a ball against the wall, catch it, repeat. The thinking things over time could be beneficial. So could a warm relaxing bath, or a walk.

Good luck with this! You're on the right path.
   
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Re: my progress - September 2nd 2013, 03:07 PM

I feel like maybe just blogging in this post may in some ways be part of a live journal for all to see. I was really stressed last night, so I actually bought a slim jim and some pistachios, which both aren't on my nutrition plan. So i may have eaten all the pistachios. But I don't feel as terrible since they are pretty healthy compared to something full of carbs like ice cream etc. So even my bad days i'm doing much better. Your body is just an average of everything you eat so I if my bad days aren't that bad it makes me not feel so guilty. Having a nutritionist and trainer has been very helpful because i've taken my diet and given it to someone else, and now i just eat how he tells me too. I find giving the control to someone else to make eating a lot easier. Maybe others will understand? Even though the nutrition program is hard, way harder than normal eating, it's not something i control so if i want to succeed I do as he says, simple and easy. Also the nutrition program has a built in binging day which actually serves a scientific purpose. It's called a reefed where at my bodyfat I take in 200% of my total needed carbs on one day. This helps to replenish all the glycogen in my muscles that have been drained over the month. So on this magical day I get to eat any and all kinds of sugar or whatever, it's mostly carbs, so last time i went to the olive garden and took advantage of the all you can eat rolls and dipped them in my soup. It's sweet and it's nice to know that i can eat whatever I want for once a month, and not only does it not hurt me, it helps me to get the results I want. I dunno if that's bad to discuss on an eating forum, it's just maybe a measure in moderation and knowing hey you really can eat whatever you want, just not all the time and not when you are stressed. If you're on a normal diet though there isn't such a thing as a reefed since you already are getting all the carbs you need, I'm on what's called a cutting diet which is very low carbohydrate, it cuts my fat out quick, but since you lose carbs in your muscles as you train at some point you need to replenish them.

I like all the suggestions on what to do when I'm stressed. Now when i'm bored I go to the gym. They have tv there and just going makes me feel like i'm going to be one step closer to my goals even if I just hang out and do thirty min of cardio. Last night I went to the gym instead of a party because I didn't want to be tempted to drink.

I remember that when I'm stressed I tend to pace round and round in circles obsessively going in all types of patterns. That may have been my first original coping mechanism, i found myself pacing around last night until 2am when I was stressed.

I really like watching anime, so I try to find like comedies or good shows to keep me distracted when i'm stressed. I'm open to suggestions for shows. I have netflix, i'm looking at maybe watching house of cards next. I might even buy hulu so i can rewatch some of my favorite series. I just hate the commercials.

Someone i know used to play video games when he was distracted.

Sometimes when I'm stressed I just like coming here and listening to people with problems and posting replies.

Or i just like going to the movies, it's been awhile since i've lost myself in a good book.

I think journals are good, I'm trying to have more adult coping mechanisms, right now i have a ton of work and i'll be working on my day off. I do enjoy playing with this girls dog who LOVES me. I love animals that just love you for no reason, if i wasn't so busy i'd probably want a dog. My parents have a puppy and since i'm always there that seems to be enough for me. Puppies can be a little bitey though but we are working on that.

Thanks everyone for listening to my journal/rant
   
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Re: my progress - September 3rd 2013, 08:49 PM

I've made it from where i was to 20% so that means i'll get to refeed once every 2 weeks, i'm excited about that. I'm stressed and tired and overwhelmed with all the work and training I have to do. Makes me sleepy.
   
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