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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Unhappy Starting to hate my weight... - August 4th 2013, 11:59 PM

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I use to not care much but now I do. Thing is,I don't do anything to lose weight I just keep eating,& keep getting fatter. I basically eat,to comfort me(I'm not SHing anymore ). I'll get fast food,eat zebra cakes,cheese itz,cupcakes,chips,goldfish any junk food.

I just want to be skinny,my thighs are sooo fat,so is my stomach,& arms.

I wanna stop eating food,but I can't.

Jeez,why does everything happen to me, being depressed,suicidal,feeling fat but won't do anything about it... & now from time to time I'm hallucinate.


   
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Re: Starting to hate my weight... - August 6th 2013, 11:32 PM

Hey!

First off, congrats on stopping self harm! That's a massive thing and I'm genuinely proud of you for it

From what you've said, it sounds like you're starting to use food as a replacement to self harm, to comfort you and soothe you and things. "Eating your feelings"- Everyone does this from time to time, for example the stereotypical example of girls bingeing on ice cream after breaking up with their boyfriends, and food is also used to celebrate and in times of good emotions, like thanksgiving. It's not harmful on one off, rare occasions, but if you start to rely on it as a coping method it means something isn't right and you should take actions to reduce your dependence on it.

I think the best thing for you would be to replace food as a comfort. Change your source of comfort. When you're upset or angry, don't reach for the food. Reach for a comfort blanket/cuddly toy. Reach for your favorite film or game. Go and have a bath, go for a walk, call a friend. Cry, if you need to. Tears aren't something you should be scared of, since you were born, they've been a sign that you're alive. Also, there's more distraction ideas here.

As for wanting to be skinny, I want you to think- what does that mean to you? Why do you want to be skinny? So people will find you attractive? Let me tell you, confidence, gentleness, kindness, a sense of humor, true beauty- that's so much more attractive than being able to see your collar bones. Think about what you actually want. Most times, people don't want to be "skinny"- they want to become what skinny is associated with, and in the society that we live in that is beautiful, popular, successful- but it's all bullshit, don't fall for it.

I'm sorry you feel so low right now, but I promise you, this too shall pass <3



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