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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Jovial. Offline
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Advice Guys? - August 24th 2013, 02:47 AM

Okay. So im not really sure where this thread is going to go, so just bear with me. So about a month ago. Someone really hit me hard with the fact that I needed to turn my life around, and start taking care of myself. That I am twenty years old and that I have a lot of life left to live, and that I need to be able to live that without my ED, and Bipolar and PTSD. So I decided right then and there that I was choosing recovery. I sat down with a couple close friends and talked about it with them, and then started writing my recovery plan. I down loaded an app, of which I think works wonders. (of which you can even link your therapists and doctors so that they can see.) and then I went to therapy. I sat down and I explained to my therapist that I was ready for a change, that I was ready for recovery. We talked about how I am a hands on learner, and how things like homework were going to be a big thing for me. She ordered me a workbook which is focused on PTSD because she feels that the things that are controlling my PTSD are what is also keeping me from making a huge change with my ED. So I have been working on my workbook for a few weeks now, and it really digs deep. It really makes me think about the past, and it has done some good, but it's also caused more flashbacks, and frustration.

I was doing okay with my eating for a few weeks, and then it became a real struggle again. Like to try to work through both the PTSD and the ED at the same time. It's a battle, and I feel stuck. Like I don't want to give up, but I also don't know where to go from here you know? Like it's a fight with myself and even bret sometimes to get me to eat again, like I don't want to say that I am not willing, because I am. It's more that I feel like I can't. I know that I can't means I won't or don't want to or I'm not ready to, but I want recovery. I want to feel better, and get rid of this monster. I just feel stuck, and I have people out here supporting me. Don't get me wrong, everyone is trying there hardest. I think it's just me.

I've tried like setting a schedule and alarms, but then I find myself telling myself that im busying doing other things, and that I don't have the time to stop at eat, or I am at work and I can't really eat then. Usually cause there is no one there to ring me up food, when it would be time to eat. I get almost hesitant to. I'm afraid of food, which just sounds stupid.

I don't really know what I was trying to get out of this, but if anyone has any advice or support on what I could do from here it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys. <3




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Re: Advice Guys? - August 24th 2013, 02:57 AM

i can't really give you any advice on how to make yourself eat, but i am here to say that the fact that YOU chose recovery, instead of having to be checked into a hospital or recovery center says a lot. if you are strong enough to make up your own mind about wanting to recover, you are strong enough to get to the end of this long road. don't give up!!!

good luck


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Re: Advice Guys? - August 24th 2013, 03:20 AM

Uh. I've been checked into a hospital three times hun.




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Re: Advice Guys? - August 25th 2013, 01:36 PM

Haiya Trish, long time no talk

Not sure how much help I'll be, but I will try to help you beautiful.

I think what Baiyu was getting at, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but this time around, not in the past, you have chosen recovery. You. It has not been forced on you by someone else, this is your choice. And in a way, that can make it either easier or harder. At first, having someone else make me recover actually helped- it was an excuse to myself to eat, you know? "I have to, they're making me." This was back when I needed an excuse to eat of course. And it can also make it easier to recover if you choose it yourself- because you've obviously found your motivation to recover, and you can cling to that. At one point, regardless of how you start recovery, you're gonna have to choose it for yourself. No one can help you if you don't help yourself, that sort of thing. Short ramble over, I was just trying to clarify what Baiyu meant. Just because you haven't been admitted to a hospital does not in any way mean there is not something wrong with you, as I'm sure you know. It does not mean you are any less sick.

First of all I just wanna tell you how happy it made me to read that you were gonna recover. Cuz you are. You've said you are, which means you are, no excuses gurl It genuinely made me smile (on a shitty day). I'll be honest with you, it terrifies me when I have to try and convince someone to recover. Because, well, I can't. You have to make that decision for yourself, and now you have: Hi Okay, onto the problems.

You're dealing with two major things at once. Of course that can complicate things. You're delving into your past, trying to deal with your feelings there, whilst also trying to deal with your current thoughts around eating. I don't know your past, I don't know your feelings. So I'm not really in a position to tell you what you should focus on, what is causing problems, cuz hell there isn't a straight answer to either of those statements. But what I am going to say is that malnutrition damages your brain, it cannot function without food, scientific fact. Referring to myself here, I suffered from a lot of anxiety and depression whilst not eating. My therapist at the time tried to get me to work through these issues whilst still not eating enough food. It didn't work. Also, she tried to get me to work on my insecurity, something that had started long before the eating disorder. It failed. I couldn't think logically, I couldn't rationalise whilst my brain was malnourished. I just couldn't. When I started eating, fully and completely, it was hell because I hadn't dealt with the thoughts or the insecurity or the depression. At the time, I thought it was madness, I thought I should deal with the thoughts first. But I was wrong. After around 1-2 months of full nutrition, I started to be able to think more clearly. Those first few months were my definition of hell, because I still had all these thoughts and issues but I had lost my way of coping with them- not eating. But, after those 2 months, I could think more rationally. That's when I started being able to deal with the crippling insecurity, the depression and the anxiety. Tl;DR, I had to eat before I could cope with my other issues. It made dealing with them a lot easier.

Being scared of food. Normal, my dear, not silly. Food is the thing your brain likes to make out as the enemy, which is weird cuz it's actually as important as air to keep you alive. Silly brain. Would food still be scary if it was cooked by someone you love? They wouldn't do anything to harm you, you know they wouldn't. You'd trust them. My alternative to this was McDonalds. My theory was McDonalds wouldn't serve me something that would hurt me or they'd get sued for all they were worth. Logically you know food isn't something to be scared of, I'm just giving you things you could use on yourself to reason with yourself when you're scared. Also you won't gain weight from one meal anyway. Normal people don't eat normally (lol) and gain weight. Nope, they maintain a weight that is healthy for them.

Text messages at mealtimes might be an idea. Also, for the record I am telling you now that you have to eat at those times, regardless of what your head might try and say. And I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you, why would I?

Ramble over. Oh god half way through writing this I went on tumblr and there was a video of a bear cuddling people and I'm still crying from watching it.

Take what's helpful, leave what's not, as ever and let me know if you wanna talk, haven't used skype in around 2 months though so a PM on here will probably be seen faster, or an email- lauraeedgar@msn.com.

Stay beautiful <3



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Re: Advice Guys? - August 25th 2013, 04:48 PM

Hey Trish, okay first of all I am SO PROUD of you for deciding to get better, it's never easy, but you can do it.

The more things you try to change at once, the harder it is, I'm glad you want to get better fast, but it might become too much to do at one time. Neither of these things developed overnight and they will both take awhile to get under control. Having said that, it's your decision. Work with your therapist to do what works best for you.

The thing I can tell you about the eating disorder is that it will ALWAYS give you an excuse not to eat, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, what time it is etc. it will always come up with an excuse for you not to eat. Part of recovering is deciding that you aren't going to listen to the excuses anymore. How you go about doing that depends on what works for you. Maybe it would help for you to be accountable to someone at meal times? whether you eat with someone, or if that's too much right now, let someone know that it's time for you to eat, but you're fighting with yourself again? What was working for you in the few weeks that it was going well?

Part of the eating disorder is that it makes you afraid of food, that doesn't sound stupid, it's part of the disorder, and something that you can work through.

As for the "I can't" meaning that you're resisting: I know in mental health settings it's supposed to mean that, but I figured out for myself that sometimes it just means that you don't know HOW.

Hope this helped, good luck!


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