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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Binge Eating... - December 6th 2013, 02:28 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've struggled off and on with my body image over the last three years. I've recently not been hungry (not ED or doing it on purpose, just not hungry). So I'll go a week or so with maybe one small meal a day. Then, it's like I can't get enough so I stuff my face full of whatever I can grab for the next few days.

Repeat.

And now, those body image issues are coming back full force due to the binge eating. I'm wanting to get rid of it in the bathroom and now purposefully not eat for days.

Ugh. I'm a mess. Trying to see my psych, but it's been really freaking hard to get a hold of her. Counselor kinda disappeared so I don't know who to turn to. My fiance says I don't need to and I'm sexy and pretty, etc. But then he always asks if I'm going to workout, or comments on my 'pudgy' stomach. Or comments how he loves skinny girls. And then I show him sickly skinny anorexic girls and he says he thinks they're sexy, but he doesn't like that it hurts their health.

Does he have any idea how horrible this makes me feel? I REALLY want to be that skinny for him. I used to be....and I was healthy....and now I've gained so much weight.

Just really need support. Nobody really knows how bad this is. I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to stay strong and NOT do something to harm my body.
   
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Re: Binge Eating... - December 6th 2013, 09:09 AM

Good day to you, Kelly!

First of all, I am sorry to hear what is going on between you and your fiancé. I know how it feels like to be unsatisfied with your physique, and compare it to other people's you think more beautiful than yours. As long as you are still healthy, you don't need to worry about your body image.

Now regarding your fiancé. If he truly loves you for who you are, then he should be able to see the true, natural beauty you have. I can symphatise with how you want to change yourself so he will call you beautiful and sexy. Calm yourself down, and make sure he is calm too. Kindly communicate with him how his words have hurt you, and I am sure he will understand if he cares about you. You can talk about how you feel to your family or your friends too.

You can tackle your urge not to eat on purpose by eating small portion of healthy food. Your body still needs energy and nutritious consumption for that. A bit of good exercise will help you as well.

Don't let the pictures of skinny girls on the net get the best of you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and realise that deep down you are already beautiful enough just the way you are.

The perfection is already inside and outside of you. Why bother trying to look for another one that is not suited for you? I hope you find this helpful, and you can VM or PM me if you wish to.

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Re: Binge Eating... - December 11th 2013, 05:34 PM

I actually know what your going through. Especially about the fiance part. I have major self esteem issues, but my boyfriend says I can't weigh any less than X. But then he comments on how sexy Victoria Secret models or NFL cheerleaders are. And obviously, they are way thinner than me. So, in my mind, it's kind of hypocritical. I want to tell him how shitty it makes me feel when he says stuff like that, but then won't let me lose weight. What I'm trying to get at is, you need to talk to him. You need to be upfront and honest with him about how he is making you feel. Chances are, he probably isn't meaning to hurt your feelings, he's just unobservant. You obviously know that communication is key, so I do think you need to let him know that his comments and actions bug you. Especially before getting married. You don't want something like this to still be an issue walking into a marriage.

As far as counseling/psych issues, I think the best you can do is make an appointment with them ASAP, and be honest with them. If your counselor is MIA, perhaps you can see about getting a new one, or maybe a temporary? It sounds like this is all spiraling out of control for you, and that it's getting worse. I think the sooner you can address this with someone who can help, the better this is all going to be. What do you think it would take to make you feel better about yourself, and to stop those behaviors? If you can identify that, then maybe you can work towards a healthier lifestyle.

I'm like you in the sense that I will restrict for days, then binge. I have absolutely no idea what a balanced healthy diet looks like. And I definitely would like to. Would you ever be interested in talking to a nutrition? They help create diet plans around your feelings, fear foods, goals, weight, height, etc. They are really understanding of Eating Disorders, and are very gentle about it. Maybe you can talk to someone like that?

I hope this helped a little!
-Linds


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Re: Binge Eating... - December 11th 2013, 06:23 PM

Hey Kelly,

I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering so much from this. You definitely deserve to and should be content with your weight and appearance. You're a beautiful person inside and out. I know it does not feel like it and the negative thoughts would disagree, but what you have to realize is that the expectations society has set up are extremely unrealistic. They are unrealistic on purpose because how else could corporations motivate women to buy beauty products, diet and exercise related products, and similar junk if women felt good about themselves? Victoria's Secret clothing is ridiculously expensive. They couldn't motivate women to spend all that money if they didn't have fashion shows that made every girl who saw them feel bad about herself.

I agree that you should talk to your fiance about this, but try to understand that it is easy for a guy to say those things without really considering them or meaning them to hurt so much. Guys are usually just ignorant and oblivious to what its like, not trying to be intentionally mean.

If your fiance wants you to go to workout, he should be going with you because the purpose of exercise is to be healthy, and everyone needs that. Having a built in workout partner helps too. The purpose of exercise is not to loose weight though, so don't ever go with that in mind. I think it could help you to destress and feel better abot yourself, which is the real reason you should do it. You could definitely use the endorphins. If you're too tired, then skip it and focus on relaxing and sleep instead. It might be unrealistic for you to do more than a brisk walk while you're going through this, so don't push yourself.

I hope you're able to start eating better and feeling better. Sorry I don't really know anything about EDs, but I hope it gets better. Feel free to PM me anytime.



   
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