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Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

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Catharsis. Offline
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>generic rant - December 20th 2013, 07:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Really just in need of a rant here. Possibly some advice, too, but I honestly don't know what advice can be given.

Being a guy with an ED (other than more common disorders, such as excessive working-out or binge eating) automatically puts you at a disadvantage. I mean, having an ED is hard enough, but when you're a guy with an ED, you're fucked. You're in what is surely one of if not the most marginalised and obscure minorities in mental illness if you're a guy who starves, purges or the likes. Since there are so few guys with these sort of EDs, and 99.9999% (I'm pretty sure there aren't even enough anorexic/bulimic guys to have such a statistic without ending up with something like 10% of one person admitting to it) of those who do will hide it like a corrupt banker would his tax evasion, there's no-one you can relate to. It's hard to get support, because you'll immediately be looked upon for being strange or different for the sole of reason of having an ED as a guy. But I can't change that.

I hate the way my parents are always there to make sure I bloody eat. Always. There's never any escape from meals, apart from lunch during the school day. I don't mean to promote ED behaviour. But, right now, it's tough, and whether or not I'm sure I want to recover...is something that I don't know. I haven't exactly taken steps to recover, anyway. My ED has really been something that's been shoved to one side because my parents thought it was something that would go away, and didn't really care in the first place anyway. So, at this stage, what do you do? Your parents don't care, and they're your only route to getting help. You have an old witch of a therapist that will thankfully be replaced soon, but even so, your parents will still find out what you tell your new therapist. You feel like the residents of Springfield in that scene in the Simpsons Movie when it's covered by a huge dome and someone says "We're trapped like rats!", and the fella on the screen goes "Rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like...carrots."

But, at the same time, it's pretty damn clear that my ED is getting worse and I bloody well need help for it. Food is controlling my life, once again. I'm counting calories again. I'm hating myself for the amounts I'm consuming, and detest the sight of myself. And again, since I'm male and want to starve myself and be skinnier, I'm weird. I'm the equivalent of an outcast. I mean, I can guarantee you that the vast majority of people who view this thread have something like "feel free 2 do the PMings or VMings of me for the help, I won't do judgings of you or anythign becus my", will see I'm a guy, and will automatically, subconsciously judge me. QED.

(DISCLAIMER: I don't blame the people for judging me. As most of you know, I'm the most prejudiced bastard there is, but I don't claim to be anything but that. That's the difference. )

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Kindred Offline
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Re: >generic rant - December 21st 2013, 05:11 PM

What advice can be give? Honestly, the typical stuff you know we're gonna say. I'll make a tl;dr for you: Get help, no seriously please, this isn't a joke, your heart could give up any minute, etc etc.

What advice am I actually going to give you? I'm not. I'll throw a statistic out for you- at least 10% of people diagnosed with eating disorders are male. Line up 10 people who hate themselves, hate their bodies and go to or think about going to extreme measures to change themselves- at least 1 of them is going to be male. Like you said, it's probably more because even fewer males seek help. Females don't tend to be the best at seeking help for this shit either, but meh.

I've encountered more males than females with disordered eating. That is the honest truth, I swear. I'm willing to bet there are just as many males as females with eating disorders. Why you feel like you're the only one I can only guess at- maybe they are all hiding under rocks. I don't understand why they would hide anymore than a female would. Maybe it's like breast cancer used to be- "oh that's a female disease!"- so, bullshit. From my perspective, I can see quite clearly why a male would develop an ED, just as easily as I can see why a female would. I don't understand why anyone would judge you, at least not anymore than they would judge anyone with disordered eating. There is always going to be ignorant beings in this world, we can't change that, I tried so hard for so long. Some people are going to be stuck in their views. So stick your fingers up at them and do what you need to do. Your life is worth fighting for. You're the first person to make me smile properly today. Doesn't that count for something?

I know this was a rant, which is why I avoided all the get help stuff- because you know that, a random geordie lass sitting god knows how many miles away from you can't change your views on getting help. She'd like to. She'd like to a lot. But she can't. She can however send you hugs, because she likes you a lot.

Also, the simpsons movie is awesome. Just saying.

Take as long as you need.
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